Business Writing

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Syntax Training | Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

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December 05, 2005

Comments

Business Consultants

Wow, now that was a nicely written rejection email, heheh. You could always do what one of my friends does and just put random smilies after every single sentence to convey emotions. ;)

Marc

Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

Hi, Marc. I wouldn't do what you friend does. People would think I had lost my mind.

Thanks for stopping by.

Lynn

m

I just saw this today. We were in the running for an advertising RFP but did not get the project. I was pretty offended by a non-profit-govt-funded group today. We have been in business over a decade, and the decision maker called and kept ripping our presentation to shreds. Quite unprofessional! They kept saying, "You should have..", "The other firms presented this way...", "You did it all wrong.", "We didn't care about the client you worked with." I finally had to get the person off the phone because I had enough. Our firm has won contracts and lost them. This was by-far the most tacky rejection we have ever encountered. I was glad to see this article.

Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

M, I am sorry you were treated so shabbily. Thanks for sharing your story so that others can learn from it.

Lynn

Abbie

how about a situation like this:

you've called 4 hotels and required some details(prices of rooms of different standards, the number of the available rooms within the given dates), and then your client decided to choose one of them. You had to inform those hotels that were not chosen of the update. How to politely tell them in the e-mail?

Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

Hi, Abbie. Here is what you want to include:

1. A warm opening such as a thank-you for the details.

2. A brief description of the decision-making process that presents it as reasonable rather than haphazard. Something like "Our clients reviewed the proposals closely. . . ."

3. The bad news, sometimes implied rather than directly stated, for example, "The client chose another hotel."

4. Acknowledgment and appreciation of the effort the individual put into the proposal to you.

5. Good wishes for the future.

Lynn

Abbie

Thank you so much for the advice. I feel that I've chosen the right things and the right words to tell them! Encouraging feedback! ^^

Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

Hi, Abbie. I am glad you feel good about the messages you sent.

Lynn

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