Business Writing

A Number, a Multitude, a Host . . . Are

This morning before my second cup of caffeine, I stumbled over a subject-verb agreement issue in instructions I was writing. Here is the sentence:

If there is an odd number of participants, pair up with one of them.

If there is an odd number? If there are an odd number?

Although my brain felt fuzzy, I could go back to the rule I know well:

A number are. ("A number" takes a plural verb.)
The number is. ("The number" takes a singular verb.)

Examples:

A number of people are waiting in the conference room.
The number of people waiting is more than I realized.

A number of employees have taken the writing class.
The number of employees has increased this month.

Since "a number" are, "an odd number" are. For my subject and verb to agree, my example must be written this way:

If there are an odd number of participants, pair up with one of them.

MG wrote last week to ask me about subject-verb agreement with "a myriad." Just like "a number," "a myriad" takes a plural verb because it means "a vast number."

Examples:

A myriad of people are contributing to the campaign.
A multitude of reasons are being given for the downturn.
A host of factors are affecting sales.

A number, a host, a multitude--all take a plural verb in examples like the ones above. (Of course, you can come up with exceptions such as "A number is hard to read," meaning "one number," or "A host is someone who entertains guests." Because of these exceptions, you cannot rely on Microsoft Office to choose your verb for you.)

Please note: A large number of questions are arriving in my email inbox daily. I am not able to respond to them and earn a living. I apologize for my inability to respond to everyone's inquiries.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Thanksgiving and Holiday Greetings

In the United States, Thanksgiving is less than a month away. And Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa are not far behind. It's not too soon to be thinking about writing holiday greetings to customers, clients, employees, and others around the world.

For a quick review of just about everything you need to know about writing and sending holiday greetings by email or regular mail, read the current issue of my free e-newsletter, Better Writing at Work. Its theme is "Holiday Greetings Made Easy." (Subscribe here.) The issue links to and updates lots of information about holiday writing I have covered in this blog.

With world economies experiencing such upheaval, pay attention to what you can control. One of those things is the way you communicate with your business friends, clients, customers, and others during the holiday season.

Happy holidays!

Lynn
Syntax Training

Terrible Passive Verbs

This morning in my daily newspaper I read two sentences with passive verbs so bad that I had to write about them:

Owen is thanked for his past 12 years of service.

Republican McCraw is endorsed for lieutenant governor for the potential her skills and background hold for the state.

Some passive verbs are bad. Those are awful. Who thanks Owen for his years of service? Who endorses McCraw for her skills?

Actually I know it is The Seattle Times editorial board that endorses Owen, since I read these examples on the editorial page of today's newspaper. (The link is to the online version, although I read the paper version with my breakfast.)  

Here are simple revisions of those dreadful sentences:

We thank Owen for his past 12 years of service.

We endorse McCraw for lieutenant governor for the potential her skills and background hold for the state.

Normally I praise publicly and criticize anonymously. But editors should give us better writing.

To learn more about passive verbs and where they belong, read my "No Place for Passive Verbs," "A Tip on Passive Verbs," and "Know Where Passive Verbs Belong." I thank you and endorse your reading them!

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

Domestic Violence Awareness Month--and Good Writing

In the United States October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. That designation means that domestic violence is a subject of television programs, news reports, newsletters articles, discussions, and so on.

The focus on domestic violence encouraged me to tell you about an excellent piece of writing, the Safety Plan Pocket Guide, published by the Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS) in Washington State.

Click on the link above, and you will see the two sides of the pocket guide, which is small enough to fit in a wallet, pocket, or even a shoe.

Here is what I admire about the guide beyond its small size: All the bullet points are short, clear, and focused on action. They are also grouped by logical category, for example, "Plan Ahead" and "During an Incident." The tollfree phone number stands out in red. And the card is available in 10 languages.

If you were going to distribute the Safety Plan Pocket Guide, how would you do it? Where would you reach people privately to slip them the card if they wanted or needed it?

I have found the card several times in a perfect place: women's restrooms.

Thanks and kudos to Washington State's DSHS for producing this valuable card in such a useable format.

Lynn
Syntax Training

It's Not Essential to Proofread

The other day I led a business writing class for leaders in a world-class company. Because they were a supportive group, one of them admitted she often doesn't proofread her email. With the need to send out dozens of messages each day, how can a person take time to read through each message before sending it?

But how can a person NOT proofread? When a tiny error can mean hours of damage control, it just isn't smart not to do at least one read-through.

One common error I see is the word not for now, or now for not--a simple one-letter mistake. I made the error purposely in the title of this post. Didn't you think I had lost my mind? How could I possibly say proofreading is not essential?

It was just a little error. Imagine these variations:

• Merisa is not due for a salary increase. [should have been now]
• She is not a member of the executive team. [should have been now]
• He has now completed his probationary period. [should have been not]

A quick read-through would catch those damaging errors. 

Now more than ever, with the huge volume of writing we do, it's essential to proofread.

Lynn
Syntax Training

A Friendly Failure--Called by the Wrong Name

I just read an email exchange between a manager and a consultant who is hoping to work for the manager.

The manager's name is Susan. The consultant addressed her as Sue.

Friendly failures like these get noticed much more than a tiny typo such as "you" for "your." Susan recognizes her own name--and the wrong name--in an instant. The same is true for my husband, Michael, who is often addressed as Mike. Michael is not a Mike.

Before clicking Send on an email, check to see how the individual signs his or her name. Remember: Just because your brother is Bob or Rob or Robby, doesn't mean every Robert is the same.

Lynn (not Lynne)
Syntax Training

Punctuating a Series

When it comes to punctuation, not all series are created equal. On a discussion board I participate in (as part of Marcia Yudkin's Marketing for More program), this sentence came up in a discussion about commas:

I dropped the pickle jar, it rolled across the floor, tumbled down the stairs, and shattered in a million pieces.

Is the sentence punctuated correctly?

Look again. You may be focusing on the comma before the word and. It's an optional comma known as the "serial comma." But it is the series itself that matters. The parts of the series of what the pickle jar did are:

• rolled across the floor
• tumbled down the stairs
• shattered in a million pieces

"I dropped the pickle jar" is not part of the series. It is an independent clause. Therefore, the sentence--as written--requires either a period or a semicolon after jar. Another way of fixing the sentence would be to insert an and after jar.  

This sentence follows the same pattern and is also punctuated wrong:

I wrote the email tips, Gaylen designed the booklet, researched printers, and negotiated a print run of 5000 copies.

Here are three correctly punctuated versions:

I wrote the email tips. Gaylen designed the booklet, researched printers, and negotiated a print run of 5000 copies.

I wrote the email tips; Gaylen designed the booklet, researched printers, and negotiated a print run of 5000 copies.

I wrote the email tips, and Gaylen designed the booklet, researched printers, and negotiated a print run of 5000 copies.

In each sentence above, the comma after printers is optional.

I prefer the first version, with a period after tips. The short, crisp sentence focuses on just one thing--what I did. The next sentence states what Gaylen did.

Whenever you are unsure about the correct punctuation in what seems to be a series, see if you can break the sentence in two. If you can, do it. Also, use your grammar and spelling checker. Microsoft Office does a fine job of finding such errors.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Start Out Strong in a Resume

My friend Sadie asked for help with a resume (also known as a curriculum vitae), and I was happy to oblige.

Sadie's resume began with her name, email and street addresses, and phone numbers. So far, so good.

Sadie's first heading was Objective, which read:

Objective: A full-time sales or customer service position in horticulture.

It's great that she is clear about what she wants. The problem is that hundreds of people in our geographical area are looking for such a position. How can Sadie stand out? How can she get her resume into the "strong candidate" pile?

She can start out strong by replacing her objective with a summary or professional profile, like this:

Summary: A degreed, experienced horticulturist with skills in plant identification, green roof plant specifications, sustainable practices, and cultural care, seeking a full-time sales or customer service position in horticulture.

That summary tells readers immediately that Sadie is educated and experienced in horticulture. She has specific skills and interests. Her resume is worth a close look.

Another approach would be to retain the objective she wrote but to add a separate professional profile. This profile would include the beginning of her summary (above). It might include another sentence like this one:

Experienced in green roof consultations, plant inventory, contract grows, telephone and in-person customer service, and retail and trade sales.

If you, like Sadie, are looking for a job, be sure your resume, CV, or data sheet starts out strong. Try to grab your reader's attention in the first few lines. Sure, readers will scan one or two pages to find the highlights, but summarizing your qualifications at the top makes an instant positive impression.

Good luck!

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

How to Say Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary

I received this message from Jen:

As a service-oriented company, we send out birthday and anniversary cards to our clients and close business associates. The last thing we want is to be cookie-cutter, so can you please consider providing some tips to personalize these types of notes without the use of platitudes?

Interesting question! But first, for my global readers, cookie-cutter means "very similar" or "identical." Platitudes, of course, are trite remarks, ones with no originality.

As for tips on birthday and anniversary greetings, here are a few:

1. "Happy birthday" and "Happy Anniversary" can stand alone on an attractive card. The messages are simple and sincere.
2. Individual signatures rather than "From your friends at Syntax Training" (for example) are more personalized. Two of my clients, NetSpeed Learning Solutions and Nintendo, circulate their greeting cards around the office so people who know the recipient can sign--and write an extra note if they want to do so.
3. For a wedding anniversary, it is essential that you name both people. "You and Jamie" sounds 10 times more sincere than "You and your wife."
4. If you know something about how the event is being celebrated, mention that in the card; for example, "We wish you and Tim a magical time at Disney World."
5. Be on time. A card is always welcome, but a delayed card conveys disorganization.
6. Unless you know they will be appreciated, avoid references to drinking or other birthday excesses.

It's difficult to avoid triteness in birthday and anniversary messages unless you personalize them with details about the person, the occasion, or your relationship. I recommend brevity rather than working hard on each message. The card itself is a caring gesture.

Here are a few simple messages to include in a card. They would also be acceptable in an email.

Congratulations! All of us wish you a very happy birthday and another year filled with adventure [or joy, wonder, all good things, success, pleasure, bliss, delights, abundance].

We are thinking of you on this important day and hoping it is filled with joy. Happy birthday!

Hurray, Micah! Happy birthday! We are cheering for you on this, your special day.

Happy birthday, Susan! We hope you have a grand celebration and an extraordinary day.

We send you our sincerest wishes for a happy birthday. Congratulations on another fine year!   

Dear Chris and Ella,
Happy anniversary! We congratulate you on another year of love and marriage. Have a delightful anniversary.

Happy anniversary, Mark and Dana! We are thinking of you two on this momentous day and wishing you a joyful celebration.

We hope you and Reshmi have a lovely anniversary celebration. You are a wonderful couple, and we are honored to be among your friends. Happy anniversary!

All of us at XYZ Company are pleased to wish you and Nigel a very happy anniversary. We wish you continued joy and happiness.

We are delighted to wish you a happy anniversary and a perfect day. Your love and commitment continue to inspire all of us.

When you can personalize a message, do so:

Happy birthday, Sarvar! We are so pleased you moved to Atlanta and have become a trusted consulting partner. We wish you another year of accomplishments, opportunity, and personal growth.

I hope these suggestions and examples help. If you have ideas to share, please comment.

Lynn
Syntax Training 

How to Finesse Email Reminders

In an Email Intelligence class the other day, attendees brought up the question of reminders:

If something is due at 5 p.m., is it okay to email someone at 4 p.m. with a reminder?

What do you think? If you were working toward a 5 p.m. deadline, would you appreciate a 4 p.m. email reminder?

And if you were the person expecting the work, could you stop yourself from worrying about it before 5 p.m.?

A class participant proposed the ideal solution:

If you need something by 5 p.m., give a 4 p.m. deadline. That way, if you have not received it by 4, you can comfortably nudge the other person.

For more valuable ideas about email etiquette and efficiency, get my "110 Tips for Sending Email That Gets Read--and Gets Results," available as a printed booklet and PDF.

What is your opinion on reminders? Please share it.

Lynn
Syntax Training