Business Writing

The Commonest Punctuation Error of 2008

Of all the punctuation errors I saw this year, the most prevalent offender was this one:

Thanks Lynn.
Happy holidays Lynn!
Okay Lynn!

Sorry to use my name so often, but the error involves direct address, that is, writers addressing the reader directly (in my case, Lynn). That use requires a comma, as in these examples:

Thanks, Lynn.
Happy holidays, Lynn!
Okay, Lynn!

If you don't want to be guilty of making the commonest punctuation error of 2008, just insert a comma whenever you use your reader's name in a sentence. (Yes, the examples above are sentences.) Here are more examples:

Thanks for your help, Ruth.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Sandhya.
Dr. Watts, your husband stopped by.

Microsoft's grammar and spelling checker does not catch these errors, but you can, using your human flexible intelligence. Just use a comma to set off the reader's name. Or use two commas if the reader's name comes in the middle of the sentence:

Thank you, Nikki, for purchasing our latest guide.
I'm writing to you, Grace, to apologize for my error.

As I am writing this blog post, a cc'd email just landed in my inbox. It says:

Thanks for your call last week Michael, saying that you received payment.

Did you recognize the error? Yes, you guessed it. The sentence needs a comma before Michael's name.

You can avoid that comma error. Reader, I know you can.

Happy 2009!

Lynn
Syntax Training

Give Yourself Credit

In a business writing class I taught recently, a participant shared a performance appraisal he had written about his work during the fourth quarter. He repeatedly included statements like "The deadline was met" instead of "I met the deadline," and "The results pleased the clients" instead of "My results pleased the clients." I had to ask him whether he met the deadline and whether the results were his. It wasn't obvious to me.

In your self-appraisals at work, do you use the pronouns I, me, and my? You should!

After all, it is your work, your results, and your accomplishments you are describing. That means I, me, and my belong in your appraisal. They also belong in your cover letters, job applications, and other places where people are deciding about you.

Don't make your reader guess. If you have been successful, say so. If your team has been successful, give yourself credit for working on or leading the team, with phrases such as "Working on the team, I . . ." or "I led the team's successful effort to. . . ."

For more ideas about communicating about yourself, read my current e-newsletter, Better Writing at Work. The theme is "Your Personal Rescue Plan," and it's all about being prepared to communicate with new clients and potential new employers. 

Also read my article "Writing About Ourselves: Bragging Without Blushing." And if you are writing an end-of-year self-appraisal, read my post "Writing Your Year-End Review."

Did you notice in the paragraph above that I wrote "my article" and "my post"? If I had used the instead of my, it would not have been clear who had written them--just as in performance appraisals.

My best wishes for the season,

Lynn
Syntax Training

Sales Messages in Holiday Greetings?

Jessica wrote to ask about the etiquette for sales letters in holiday greetings. She wanted to know whether sales letters should be included in holiday greetings, and if so, how long they should be.

Here's the answer: No sales messages in holiday greetings. Holiday greetings are about building relationships, not about making sales. Use your holiday cards and messages simply to thank customers and clients and wish them a happy new year. The sales will come if the relationship and product are solid and the pricing makes sense to the customer.

That said, it is fine to include a discount coupon or an item related to your business as a gift. But don't send it with a catalog or pricing information. That would be an obvious sales gesture.

Happy holidays!

Lynn
Syntax Training

Ban Acronyms From Holiday Parties

I attended a holiday event yesterday where everyone was given a preprinted nametag. Every tag included the person's name and association (how they belonged). Every association was abbreviated.

As a newcomer to the group, I had no idea what the very short abbreviations stood for. At first, I didn't even recognize what the abbreviation on my own nametag stood for! This was not a party game--it was business shorthand.

If you are planning your organization's holiday party, ban acronyms and abbreviations from your nametags, programs, introductions, and other forms of communication. Those shorthand references may be great for longtimers and insiders, but people who are guests or new to your company will be left out. Yes, asking what an acronym stands for can be a conversation starter, but the question immediately labels the questioner as an outsider.

Happy holiday partying. Write responsibly!

Lynn
Syntax Training

P.S. If "Write responsibly" made no sense to you, it was a play on "Drink responsibly," a slogan that is common in the United States.

Want to Be Concise?

In all my writing classes, people tell me they want to be more concise. That's a worthy goal, especially since our readers get slammed with so much they have to read on the job. If a message isn't short, often they won't read it.

I recommend Marcia Yudkin's downloadable report "Shorter: Say It in Fewer Words." The report offers 58 specific ideas for shortening your documents. Here are three items I took from Marcia's list that were good reminders for me: 

"Pare adverbs and adjectives: In most people's writing, adverbs don't add nuance and should be cut. 'Literally': out! 'Actually': gone! When the adverb does add significance, try to replace the adverb and verb combination with a more specific word, like changing . . . 'cut carefully' to 'sliced' or 'divided.'

"Make verbs active and vivid. Question every instance of 'is,' 'are,' 'was,' or 'were' and try to reword your sentence without the weak pseudo-verb 'to be.' To do this, you'll tighten wordy constructions and change passive verbs to active verbs. Thus . . . 'The program was started in 1988 and was run without investors until 1997' becomes 'The program launched in 1988 and gained investors in 1997.'

"Excise intensifiers. Paradoxically, words like 'very,' 'absolutely,' 'really,' 'certainly,' or 'undoubtedly' weaken your message. Strengthen your point by getting rid of them."

Marcia provides 10 ways to identify content to cut, 10 formatting changes that slim down documents, and 38 editing suggestions. When you are finished digesting those, you will be ready for the three realistic practices she includes--not editing exercises, but actual pieces to shorten.

Want to say it in fewer words? (I just used Marcia's tip "Change statements to questions.") Then get "Shorter: Say It in Fewer Words," by Marcia Yudkin.  

Lynn
Syntax Training

Free Spanish-English Online Dictionary

Ricardo wrote to me today to tell me about a free English-Spanish online dictionary. It's at the Word Magic website. As someone who is interested in learning Spanish, I was pleased to find out about this resource.

I tested the dictionary with the Costa Rican expression pura vida, which people use to respond to "how are you" type questions. I was happy to see that the online dictionary defined pura vida as "just fine" and "super" rather than the literal translation "pure life." It provided good synonyms too: estupendo, excelente, and others.

If you want to use proper holiday greetings in Spanish, the Word Magic dictionary does a good job with "Happy holidays" and "Happy New Year":  Felices Pascuas, Felix Navidad, and Feliz Año Nuevo.

Muchas gracias, Carlos! I appreciate knowing about the Word Magic dictionary.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Oops Once, Not Twice: Get Rid of Old Errors

This week I received an email reminding me about a luncheon on Monday, December 9. The writer pasted in the original invitation beneath his reminder. Minutes later I received an "oops" message, apologizing: the writer had meant Tuesday, December 9--not Monday. 

But the writer had already made this mistake back in September when he sent the original invitation. Why did it happen again? It happened again because he didn't delete the message that included the error, and he ended up using it again. 

If you send an email with an error, correct the error and send the corrected version to all the recipients. Then delete the original. Once deleted, the error will not be able to show its ugly head again.

Do the same thing in PowerPoint presentations, reports, manuals, sales letters, etc. Once you find an error--or someone brings it to your attention--eliminate it wherever it exists. That way you can be sure not to cut and paste it into a new document, for a new round of embarrassment.

A company representative sent me an email asking if any of his products had peaked my interest. I replied and let him know, gently, that he meant piqued--not peaked. I hope he deleted that error from all his marketing messages.

Catch errors before they catch you. If you have words you often mistype, search for them before you send an email or document, especially if they are the type of errors your grammar and spelling checker misses. For instance, if you often type you when you want your or if you miss it's/its errors, search for those words before releasing an important message.

I'm going to the luncheon on Monday, December 9. Oops--I mean Tuesday. I had better delete that incorrect reminder before it confuses me too.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Too Many Nouns (Consider Revising)

Yesterday I picked up our local newspaper and read this sports headline: "Star Times All-Area Fall Prep Teams." I had no idea what it meant. Later I phoned home and asked my daughter to read the headline to me, so I could write about it here. After reading it to me, she asked, "What does it mean?"

Even after reading the story about the best local athletes, I was not sure what the headline was trying to convey. One of its problems is too many nouns: star, times (or is that the verb times?), area, fall, prep, teams.

When you use too many nouns in a row, readers can't be sure how the words relate to one another. Examples:

1. Liquidation schedule delay determination is one of our priorities.

2. The training program evaluation review team meets next week.

3. She will fill the role of process fitness capability change manager.

Guessing what the writers mean, I propose these revisions: 

1. Determining whether the liquidation schedule should be delayed is one of our priorities.
2. The team that is reviewing the training program evaluations meets next week.
3. She will fill the role of manager of . . . . (Actually I can't figure this one out, although it is a real person's title.)

I'll admit that my revisions are longer than the originals, but brevity does not always equal clarity. Adding verbs and little words such as for, of, the, and in can eliminate confusion. 

Microsoft Office will flag noun pileups of more than three nouns, as long as you have checked "Successive nouns (more  than three)" in your grammar and spelling checker. Although Microsoft doesn't offer suggestions, its caution "Too Many Nouns (consider revising)" will help you recognize the noun chains you have created.  

As for the "Star Times . . . " headline that perplexed me, I am experiencing noun headline confusion continuance frustration. What about you?

Lynn
Syntax Training