Business Writing

Don't Ban the Apostrophe!

The apostrophe has been banned from street signs in Birmingham, England. The reason? According to a story by Jon Swaine, published online at Telegraph.co.uk, city council members spent too much time arguing over that punctuation mark. Debate apparently snarled over issues such as Kings Norton vs. King's Norton vs. Kings' Norton. No doubt the council has more important problems to solve.

But they could have taken a less drastic approach. Applying a couple of simple rules could have saved them from the embarrassment of public signs that say "St. Pauls Square." Who is St. Pauls?

To figure out where the apostrophe goes or doesn't go, use an of phrase. For example, with St. Pauls Square, ask yourself:

Is it the square of St. Paul? If the answer is yes, it's St. Paul's Square.
Is it the square of St. Pauls (more than one St. Paul)? If the answer is yes, it's St. Pauls' Square.
Is it the square of St. Paul or St. Pauls? If the answer is no one knows or cares anymore, it's St. Pauls Square. (This answer is unlikely because of the popularity of St. Paul.)

For Kings Norton:

Is it the Norton of the King or the Kings? According to Wikipedia, Kings Norton "derives its name from the Norman period" and means "'north farmland or settlement' belonging to or held by the king." 

Long ago people could say it was the "Norton of the King"--or King's Norton. Over the centuries the land belonged to many kings, one king at a time. In the 21st century when we ask "Is it the Norton of the King or the Kings?" the answer is surely "Who cares? What's a Norton?"  Therefore, Kings Norton makes sense.

I empathize with Birmingham's council. Like the council, I get lots of comments from passionate punctuators and grammarians eager to argue a point. Still, I urge the council to reconsider its decision. Why not create a board of English overseers, language experts whose responsibility is to research the language issues of the city and make final decisions on them? I'm all for it.

But what do I know? I'm just an American--not a speaker of the Queen's English--or if you live in Birmingham today, the Queens English.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Watch Your Language--and Theirs

This week in a Better Business Writing class in Tacoma, Washington, an information systems manager was writing an announcement about certain servers being down for routine maintenance. Her message was going to go to several thousand people. In it, she used the phrase "server maintenance windows." I wondered how windows were involved. Another manager who read the announcement was also confused about what windows had to do with computers (not Microsoft Windows, of course).

Do you know what she meant by "server maintenance windows"?

Talking with the manager, we learned that her windows were windows of time.

Should she keep using the word windows if two interested readers were instantly confused? No. Words such as times, downtimes, or periods would be clear to her readers. She should choose one of them instead.

In an Email Intelligence seminar in British Columbia this month, I noticed that participants used the phrase "caps lock" to refer to something being in ALL CAPS. I had never heard "caps lock" to describe all capital letters (even though that is how the "Caps Lock" key is labeled on my keyboard).  

In that seminar, should I start using "caps lock" as they did, or should I continue to say "all caps," which is familiar to me?

I started saying "caps lock" as soon as I recognized what they meant. As their instructor, I had the responsibility to speak their language.

As a writer and business communicator, watch your language. Be sure to use words your audience understands. Watch their language too--then adapt your own to match theirs.

Lynn
Syntax Training 

Background: To Keep It or Delete It?

"Get rid of background" is advice I often give writers. Too frequently, background gets in the way of the meat of a message, and readers wade through thick details in search of the main point. 

And so it was last week, when I published my monthly ezine, Better Writing at Work. In it I wrote, "If your readers would not ask 'What is the background?' don't write a background section."

A subscriber quickly responded:

"I typically include a background statement when submitting a proposal to a prospective client. While I may continue to do so as a means of demonstrating that (and perhaps how) I understand their circumstances, I can see the value of minimizing or perhaps eliminating that section of my proposals."

But wait! Don't minimize or eliminate background that is all about the reader! Instead, just change its name. Label it "Your Current Situation," "Your Goals," "Your Opportunities," or another "your" heading. If it is all about "you" (your reader), it will grab and keep your reader's attention.

So maybe I was wrong about discouraging "Background" so broadly. Let me qualify my advice: Include background if it is all about the reader, but be sure to give it a descriptive heading that includes the word your.

For more about engaging your audience, read my current e-newsletter, titled "How to Keep Your Readers' Attention." Subscribe for free here, and get practical writing tips once a month.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Deconstructing the Inaugural Address

Many commentators around the world have no doubt already weighed in on the strengths, content, and feeling of U.S. President Obama's inaugural speech. Here is a look at the mechanics:

Number of words: 2414 (according to Microsoft Word)

Number of sentences: 110

Number of words per sentence: 21.4 (Microsoft) or 21.9 (my calculator)

Grade level, based on sentence length and word length: 8.3

Sentences with passive verbs: 10 percent (Examples: "The capital was abandoned"; "It must be earned.")

Number of times "I" appears: 3

Number of times "we" appears:  62

Number of times "my" appears: 2

Number of times "our" appears: 66

Number of times "you" or "your" appears: 17 (typically referring to people outside the U.S.)

Number of sentences that begin with a conjunction: 15 (and, but, so, nor, yet)

Here are a few observations I share, based on the text:

1. You can move a nation and a world writing at 8th-grade level.

2.  It is perfectly okay to use passive verbs selectively. (Search this blog for "passive verbs" to learn more.)

3. To create a sense of community, use "we"--not "I" or "you."

4. To communicate in an engaging way, feel free to begin sentences with conjunctions such as "but" and "and." The President's speech includes not one "however," "moreover," or "in addition."

What did you observe about the inaugural address?

Lynn
Syntax Training

Community Service: No Replies to All

In the United States, it is a national holiday: Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Inspired by Barack and Michelle Obama, many individuals and organizations will perform community service in food banks, shelters, and other places of need. When I finish this post, I will spend my day with elderly and sick friends. It is a day of connection and community.

Wherever we are, a simple but essential service we can perform for our business community is to avoid unnecessary Reply to All email. Reply to All is frequently a meaningless, time-wasting sham of connection that shuts down productivity and gluts email servers. Last week the Associated Press reported on a flood of sudden email replies at the US State Department ("Reply-all e-mail storm hits State Department") that virtually crippled communications there.

Although not focused on the sick and needy, avoiding Reply to All would indeed be a service. In every Email Intelligence class I lead, participants rant about the senseless, aggravating email they receive--much of it Replies to All.

When should we Reply to All? I answered that question in "Reply to All: Do They Need It?" But we can also look to the days before email, when people sent photocopies of memos and letters through interoffice mail. Each copy had to be printed, placed in an envelope, and addressed. So here's a guide: If you had no email, would you copy the message, put it in an interoffice envelope, address the envelope, and drop it in your outbox for pickup? If the copied message would not be worth the effort to send that way to each recipient, don't send it Reply to All.

If you have other ideas about reducing Reply to All email, please share them. The State Department (see above) is threatening unspecified "disciplinary action" for those who abuse Reply to All.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! Read my "Pursue Peace" entry for ideas on improving the world one message at a time. 

Lynn
Syntax Training

A Sweet Surprise from the Pan Pacific Hotel

For the past two days I have taught in Vancouver, British Columbia, where I stayed at the Pan Pacific Hotel. When I walked into my hotel room late on Sunday, I found an envelope with my name on it (handwritten I believe, although I do not remember for sure) next to a small box of six chocolates. Here is what the note said:

Dear Ms. Gaertner-Johnston:

On behalf of our 450 associates who are here to anticipate and cater to your every need and request--Welcome!

We aspire to continually be the home you seek when yours is miles away. In short, we strive to provide personalized care because we genuinely care.

We know you have a choice. Thank you for choosing the Pan Pacific Vancouver.

Enjoy your stay!

What is special about this message?

Lots of things:

1. It is personalized--with my name spelled correctly!
2. It uses positive language: anticipate, cater, welcome, aspire, home, strive, personalized, care, choice, thank you, enjoy.
3. It is divided into short, crisp paragraphs.
4. It's a happy surprise.

The six chocolates, which included four truffles, were rich and delicious. I savored each one. Yet I appreciated the message just as much. I told several people about the chocolates and the message last night and on the job today, and now I am telling the world here. The surprise created a very positive impression of the hotel for me and has led to this free advertising for the Pan Pacific Vancouver.

Of course, any such message has to be authentic and consistent. It was: On Monday I met the housekeeper who was taking care of my room. She greeted me by name. And this morning the breakfast server packed for me a croissant and some fruit to go--without my asking--because I said I had just a few minutes for breakfast.

Can you surprise your reader-customers with a special message and an unexpected kind gesture? Please think about it and tell me how.  

Lynn
Syntax Training

Dear John Doe: A Sad Lesson

I was saddened to read about the U.S. Army's error in sending 7,000 letters addressed to "Dear John Doe" to family members of soldiers who had died in Iraq and Afghanistan. Elisabeth Bumiller of The New York Times wrote the story published on January 8.

According to The New York Times, the Army learned about the error when people who had received the letter, which included information about groups that help families of deceased soldiers, phoned and expressed their thanks for the information but mentioned that their letter was addressed incorrectly.

What an unfortunate mistake! "John Doe" is the name frequently used for an unidentified dead man, and it communicates anonymity and isolation in death. For a living family member to be addressed as "John Doe"--especially after having experienced the death of a loved one--is . . . it's about as bad as it gets in writing blunders.

I express my condolences to the families of these soldiers, and I regret any additional suffering the John Doe letters may have caused.

It is not necessary to condemn the U.S. Army for the egregious writing error. No doubt there is plenty of self-condemnation, blame, and shame flying around.

But all of us can learn from the error, and here is the lesson: Never send out a mail-merged letter without checking many examples to be sure addresses and greetings have been merged correctly.

When I send mailings to a group, I insist that virtually every letter be checked for an accurate greeting, address, and letter-envelope match. Although my caution may seem excessive, I have never had to apologize for a mass mailing gone wrong--and I know several people who have.

Let's learn from the Army's painful lesson.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Ideas for Blog Posts

In a professional discussion board I am a part of, there has been talk lately about coming up with topics for blogs. Some people are not posting to their business blogs as often as they want to, because they can't think of things to blog about. Here are some ideas that work for me, along with examples. Please share your ideas, with a link to your blog.

1. Anytime something catches your interest, no matter how far afield, tie it to the topic you write about on your blog. For example, I heard a story about equestrian police on my local PBS station, KUOW, and I likened the horse-training process to business writing. Read my post, Writing Is Like Policing on Horseback. Another example: I talked briefly with a woman whose dachshund was lying on the sidewalk on a sunny day. Her dog-walking approach inspired me to write Make Time to Walk the Dog, about allowing enough time to write. Here are other blog posts that tie odd topics to business writing:
   Two Sides of the Fence
   Surprising Your Customers
   When Fast Is Thoughtless
   What Dentists Can Learn From Doctors
   Beyond "Out of Order"
2. Notice what people ask you about in your business, and blog about the answers to their questions. For example, I regularly get questions about how to address someone in a business letter, so I have written 10 posts on that subject. (One question led to another, but I think I have said all I can on the subject now!) See my most recent post on the topic, Dear Reader: More About Salutations, which links to the earlier entries.
3. Use examples to show your readers how to do things better. The examples need not be exact models of your topic. My What the Customer Wants talks about meeting readers' needs. It evolved from my frustration in not being able to find "air conditioning" in my car's user manual. The Secret of Successful Instructions was inspired by a cookbook I was proofreading. Car manuals and cookbooks are not what we think of as "business writing," but they can provide insights.
4. Notice mistakes made in your line of work, and tell your readers how to avoid those mistakes. For example, I blogged last week about the commonest proofreading error and punctuation error I had seen in 2008. Write about your own mistakes too, so people can learn from them. Read my post Disburse Vs. Disperse--Wrong! in which I confess a moment of ignorance.
5. Share great examples in your area or industry. See A Good Set of Conference Room Rules and Word Power: Being Partners. Using those two examples, which come from client companies, allowed me to both praise clients and share good information.
6. Blog about resources that will interest your readers. Last month I wrote about Marcia Yudkin's "Shorter, Say It in Fewer Words" report in Want to Be Concise? and about a Free Spanish-English Online Dictionary. 
7. Blog about other blogs to introduce your readers to other useful information. You can do this with just a few sentences, as I did in Typefaces and Other Topics, or in more detail: Writing Case Studies.
8. Pass on other people's good ideas. See my Hot Idea for Staying Out of Trouble and Your Untethered Reader.
9. Express an opinion on something in the news. In Fired by Email I commented on a controversial layoff at RadioShack. In Me, Myself, and the Presidential Candidates I commented on a grammar error in the U.S. presidential debates.
10. Share news you read. In Words to Ban in the New Year I shared Lake Superior State University's "banished word list." In A Costly Error I wrote about a lawsuit brought against a career management company. Don't worry that your readers may have seen the news story you are drawing from. You will present it from your own perspective.
11. Find a way to tie any big news to your business. The post that began to draw large numbers of readers to this blog involved Hurricane Katrina, one of the biggest and most tragic news stories of 2005. Read my Sending Condolences: Hurricane Katrina.
12. Build on the seasons and holidays. With the new year, most bloggers have published their recaps of 2008 and their resolutions and predictions for 2009. But look for the potential in other dates. I tied Martin Luther King Jr. Day to writing in Pursue Peace. I used Presidents' Day to talk about apostrophes.

I hope these tips on topics for writing blog posts are helpful to you. If you are still stuck, your niche may be too small to generate enough content for your blog. Read Naming Your Blog and Newsletter--Think Big for ideas on expanding your blog's vision.

Please share your ideas.

Lynn
Syntax Training

The Commonest Proofreading Error of 2008

I just received an email that reminded me of the commonest error I have been seeing in content--not in punctuation or grammar, in content. 

The email begins this way:

***Correction***The original message to you had an error regarding the day of the meeting. This notice is updated with the correct information.

The original message, which had arrived about 90 minutes earlier, announced a meeting on Thursday, January 13. Unfortunately, January 13 falls on a Tuesday.

Let's wipe out this error in 2009! Before we press Send or close the flap on a message, let's make sure any days and dates are correct. In the three seconds it takes to recheck our calendars, we can save ourselves plenty of embarrassment and dozens if not hundreds of "Correction" notices. Not to mention saving time for our readers.

Are you with me?

Lynn
Syntax Training 

Resolutions for 2009, Simple and Sublime

Happy 2009! With the new year, it's the time of making resolutions, commitments to change our behavior. I have made three that apply to my work as a business communicator.

Here are my two simple resolutions:

• I resolve to spell the word website consistently. No more bouncing between Web site and website. Because several of my clients prefer the term Web site, I developed the bad habit of inconsistency. No more--for me, it's website. (Both forms are correct.)
  The payoff for my new behavior is that I won't be tripping over my inconsistency, and my readers won't either.  
• I resolve to file email immediately rather than reading and writing it and then going on to the next message or task. Mail that's worth saving I will drag to the appropriate folders. Mail with no future I'll delete. 
  The payoff: I will be able to find what I need in a flash. My new efficiency will have me smiling all day.

My sublime resolution is to read more poetry. As an avid mystery reader, I resolve to read at least one book of poetry between mysteries. Reading poetry opens my eyes to new ways of seeing the world and using language. The payoff: I'll be a better writer and a richer, kinder human being. 

On Christmas Eve I read Maya Angelou's poem "Amazing Peace." I loved the images in these lines:

Hope spreads around the earth, brightening all things,
Even hate, which crouches breeding in dark corners. 

The poem ends this way:

And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation:
Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

Peace to you. I wish you a new year filled with hope brightening all things.

Lynn
Syntax Training