Business Writing

How to Slow Down Email: Ignore Lists

For last week's public Better Business Writing class, I emailed four questions to attendees in advance. They were in list form, like this:

1. What is your job?
2. What do you write on the job? To whom?
3. What do you want to be able to do better in your writing?

4. In terms of how you learn best, what do you hope happens or does not happen in the class?

Just about everyone responded efficiently. They either copied the questions into their reply and answered them in list form, or they answered them inline in my original message, like this:

1. What is your job? Project manager
2. What do you write on the job? Technical documents, user guides, statements of work (SOWs), knowledge base articles
3. What do you want to be able to do better in your writing? Be more concise, write effectively to varied audiences, feel confident that my work is professional 

4. In terms of how you learn best, what do you hope happens or does not happen in the class? No lecturing. Give me writing projects and exercises--then give me feedback on how I do. 

Their listed answers were easy to find and consider. I was able to get a sense of each person's goals and needs in seconds.

However, one person (I'll call her Doris) ignored my list format when she responded. Instead, Doris replied in a 155-word paragraph.

I have nothing against 155-word paragraphs. But they bog me down when I am looking for quick information.

Here's the good news: Change is easy. When I gave Doris private feedback, I told her how her paragraph had slowed me. We looked at it together, and she realized how much time it took to dig out the answer to "What do you want to be able to do better in your writing?"

Doris got it immediately.

If you write to people who ignore your lists or who make you dig out facts from swampy paragraphs, give them feedback. And tell them how easy and efficient it is to change.

For more ideas on how to take writing from so-so to terrific, get my new guide, Clarity, Conciseness, Zing, and More: 262 Ways to Take Business Writing Beyond the Basics.

Lynn
Syntax Training

A Courteous Client Handoff

Last week I worked with a group of applications support engineers who respond to clients' requests in email 24 hours a day. They have an efficient client-communication habit, and I want to share it with you. 

When an engineer refers a client's question or problem to someone else on the team--often on another shift--he lets the client know about the handoff. (I say "he" because the entire team is male.)

Clients learn the name of their new support contact and a general time that the new contact will respond to their question or problem.

This thoughtful habit helps clients feel informed, and it prepares them for follow-up from a different person. It also saves clients time, since they don't write repeatedly to the wrong person.

It's just a simple, smart tip I wanted to pass on.

Could you do handoffs, referrals, or introductions more efficiently?

Lynn
Syntax Training

"Why Me?" I Asked

Yesterday I received an email (below, disguised), which gave me an odd feeling. Can you guess why? 

Hi. I'm a former Sun reporter who was laid off in May when the paper went online-only. I'm looking for the best fit in the occupational arena for my skills and experience. Lizzie Blake of Weyerhaeuser suggested I talk to you.

I'd like to meet with you for 20-30 minutes, at a time and place of your convenience -- coffee, drinks, just talk, whatever. No specific agenda -- I just want your perspective.

Thanks.
-- John Black [phone number]

 

Have you guessed what bothered me about the email?

 

It's clear, intelligent, concise, but--

 

It could have been sent to everyone, at least everyone who knows Lizzie Blake.

 

If the message had not mentioned someone I know, I would have deleted it. Instead I replied, asking, "Why me?"

 

Today John wrote back and explained:

 

. . . to draw on my experience as a writer and editor to teach writing, maybe targeting business people who want to learn to write more effectively in a time when they may be called on to write more (emails, blogs, internal web sites, etc.). From a look at your web site, it seems like that's your field -- so I would hope to learn more about it, and the opportunities it presents, from you.

 

Okay, now I understand! And John and I plan to meet soon. 

 

If you, like John, are writing to strangers to request a professional favor, be sure to include specific information that helps them understand why the connection makes sense.

 

It's not complicated. If John had just greeted me by name and included one flattering sentence about my work, blog, or website, I would have replied, "Yes!" instead of "Why me?" 

 

Do you ever wonder "Why me?"

 

Lynn
Read about my new guide here:

http://syntaxtraining.com/clarity.html  

Please See Attached

Jonathan from California wrote to me last week asking and then answering his own question. I like it when readers are so efficient!

Here is what Jonathan grappled with:

Today I was looking for an answer to my question about the correctness of the term “please see attached,” but I could not find a post about it.  So I am writing to ask you, but in thinking about it a little more, I think I know the answer.  Even though people use the term all the time (at least in my industry), it is an incomplete sentence and should be avoided. It takes a few seconds longer to type out “please see the attached document (or spreadsheet, proposal, etc.)”, but it is the right thing to do. 

I agree, Jonathan. "Please see attached" sounds incomplete.

To people who send nonstop text messages or emails, the phrase probably seems efficient. But I suggest boosting efficiency with more energetic, focused sentence starters such as:

The attached diagram shows . . .
The attached spreadsheet contains . . .
When you review the attached proposal, you will notice . . .
As promised, I have attached a revised . . .
Please let me know if the attached draft . . .

"Please see attached" is simply too dull--and it's inaccurate. We don't want our readers to "see" the attachment. (I "see" a pile of papers on my desk, but my next step is to hide it in a file drawer.)

We want our readers to review, improve, approve, save, forward, or recommend it--not "see" it.

We also don't want them to find it. (It's not lost or hidden, is it?) So "Please find attached" is no improvement.

Are people at your organization, like Jonathan's, attached to "Please see attached"? Perhaps you can ask them to please see consider this blog post.

Lynn
Visit my website at www.syntaxtraining.com.

 

Do You Write With Flare?

I hope your answer to the title question is "No!"

Before you think too hard about the title, let me admit that it's a trick question.

It's a confusing word pair: flare and flair. I was reminded of it the other day when someone who speaks English as a second language wanted feedback on how well a copyeditor had edited an article for her. Unfortunately, the editor had missed a flare/flair error in the article's title!

So here's a quick reminder, whether you are a copyeditor, a proofreader, or a writer who wants to create error-free documents:

Flair is talent, aptitude, or style:
You have a flair for costuming. He writes with wit and flair.

All other uses of the homonyn require flare, which is both a noun and a verb:
He used a flare to warn oncoming traffic. She experienced a flare of anger. That flare in the night sky adds interest to the photo. I saw something flare in the next campsite. Tempers flared. His symptoms flared.

So write with flair, perhaps building on a flare (sudden burst) of creativity.

To sort out 60 other confusing word pairs and trios, get my 60 Quick Word Fixes. 

Lynn
Syntax Training

Tips for Successful E-Newsletters

We are celebrating the fifth anniversary of Better Writing at Work, our monthly e-newsletter, or ezine. Based on my five years of experience, I share these tips for creating and writing electronic newsletters. Please share your tips too.

1. Be sure your content is practical, something your subscribers can use. Be honest: Readers can't use an announcement that you have expanded into a new territory or achieved a milestone. They can use tips, guidelines, checklists, recipes, product recommendations, book reviews, and relevant business stories. 
2. Know your readers. Are they insurance adjusters? Homeowners? Creative writers? Product liability attorneys? Human resource managers? You can't give them practical content unless you know who they are.
3. Write to you, an individual reader--not to "all of you." Each of your subscribers reads as an individual, not as a group.
4. Make your content evergreen whenever possible. If your content doesn't get out of date, your subscribers will save your newsletters and think of you often.
5. Publish on a regular schedule that works for you and your readers. A monthly schedule is much easier to meet than a weekly one, and monthly newsletters are less likely to back up unread. However, short, valuable newsletters can come more frequently. Marcia Yudkin publishes her "Marketing Minute" every Wednesday, but it takes just a minute to read.
6. Provide lots of content and little marketing. A newsletter without valuable content is an advertisement. 
7. Give your newsletter a consistent name and format so that it is easily recognized in an email inbox.
8. Keep your readers happy by including the same features in each issue. Your readers will look forward to your word of the week, brainteaser, or case study.
9. Don't tease your reader with a juicy headline whose story is impossible to find. If your subject line is "How to Shorten Your Workday," make sure workday-shortening secrets are visible in the first screen.
10. Recognize that some subscribers want to print your newsletter to read in a hammock, on a bus, or at a cafe. Make it easy to both read and print.
11. Some people will be reading a copy that has been forwarded to them. Include an easy way to subscribe in every issue.
12. Don't worry if your subscriber list isn't huge, and don't spam readers by adding them to your list without their permission. Take the long view, knowing that if your content is worth reading, subscribers will find you. I began with 9 subscribers in July 2004 and had just 219 subscribers in July 2005. But this July I have over 8,000. 

Recognize that even when your subscriber list is short, you are creating valuable content to mine for future theme-based products. I just published Clarity, Conciseness, Zing, and More: 262 Ways to Take Business Writing Beyond the Basics, which includes 24 articles updated from my newsletter, along with 3 new ones--all focused on taking writing from so-so to superb. Read about the new guide here, and check out the table of contents for examples of ezine article ideas.

Do you have tips for creating e-newsletters? Or how about newsletters to recommend? Please share them!

Lynn
Syntax Training

Saying Goodbye With Class

Today I received an email from a client, Marie, whose job is being eliminated at a prestigious investment company. She wrote to say goodbye.

Because her email is an excellent example of how to say goodbye with class and to keep professional relationships strong, I asked her permission to share her email, with the names changed. She generously said yes. Here it is:

***********************
Lynn,
Just a quick email to let you know that tomorrow, July 10, will be my last day at XXX Company. I'm heading off to new adventures. I'm not even sure what they are yet, but trust me--they will be wonderful.

It has been a joy to have worked with you during my time here. You are such a warm and engaging individual, and I sincerely hope that we can stay in touch and find future opportunities to work together.

Going forward, Name One (nameone@XXX.com) and Name Two (nametwo@XXX.com) will be coordinating the logistics for Learning & Development courses. Feel free to contact them with any questions regarding offering business writing courses in the future. I will give them your contact information as well.

I wish you great success in your own adventures! Please let me know if I can ever be of service to you. See you on Facebook and/or LinkedIn.

All the best!

Marie
***********************

Marie kept the message positive even though she was leaving a job she loved. She took time to communicate with me, a vendor, and to make thoughtful remarks about me. She told me who my contacts at the company would now be, and she suggested we connect online.

I'd say it's a perfect message. What do you think?

For ideas on what to write as your out-of-office email when you are out permanently, read this post.

Lynn
Syntax Training

A Well-Known Problem: Well Known

A reader wrote to me today asking about a sentence with the phrase "well known." Is he "well known for his philanthropy" or "well-known for his philanthropy"?

The answer depends on whether the writer wants to be a language maven (someone who knows that maven means "expert" and enjoys knowing it) or wants simply to be consistent and correct.

For language mavens, well known and well-known each have a place: Well known is used when it comes after what it describes. Well-known comes before what it describes.

These sentences are both correct:

• He is well known for his philanthropy. (Well known describes he.)

• His well-known philanthropy is the subject of a new book. (Well-known describes philanthropy.)

Supporting the distinction above are Garner's Modern American Usage, The Chicago Manual of Style, and The Gregg Reference Manual.

For those who love consistency and easy language rules, well-known is acceptable in both sentences above. Why? Because the adjective well-known appears hyphenated in the dictionary. And the dictionary is a good enough guide for people who don't need to make their living as language experts.  

But well-known is also acceptable in both sentences according to The Associated Press Stylebook (AP). The rule in AP is that "when a modifier that would be hyphenated before a noun occurs instead after a form of the verb to be, the hyphen usually must be retained to avoid confusion." AP gives this example: "The man is well-known."

So, I hope the answer is now well known to you: Both well-known and well known are correct. You choose.

Lynn
Syntax Training