I am ending this year with an example that people in business writing classes found most helpful when it comes to writing for onscreen readers.
In Writing Tune-Up for Peak Performance, a business writing class I teach regularly, we talk about the fact that people do not read what we write, especially on screen. Rather than read, they skip and skim to retrieve information. Retrievers are scanning the left margin of our online messages to find what they seek.
The two brief versions below are about the use of a conference center. Which one does a better job of providing information in the left margin?