Business Writing

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Syntax Training | Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

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December 15, 2016

Comments

Alessandra

• Provides relief in an emergency situation with survival goods, tools, safety supplies and personal hygiene items; pack-style bag offers portability – NOT NECESSARY to MENTION

• Contains enough supplies for 1 - 2 people for up to 3 days
• 2 food packages,
• 20 water packets,
• tube tent
• 2 waterproof ponchos
• 2 rescue blankets
• 4 hand warmer
• 2 dust masks
• hand-crank flashlight/radio,
• multifunction tool,
• work gloves,
• 2.5 gal. collapsible water jug,
• whistle,
• 4 light sticks
• 2 emergency candles
• Pencil and paper,
• 50 ft. nylon rope,
• waterproof tape,
• 2 cold packs
• latex-free medical gloves (2 pairs)
• 6 antimicrobial hand wipes
• bandage scissors,
• tweezers/forceps
• 2 finger splints
• digital thermometer,
• first aid manual,
• 2 facial tissue packages
• 2 biohazard waste bags
• Treat wounds with five 3 x 0.75 in. bandages
• five 3 x 1 in. bandages,
• 5 knuckle bandages,
• 5 fingertip bandages
• four 2 x 2 in. gauze pads
• two 3 x 3 in. gauze pads,
• two 4 x 4 in. gauze pads,
• 4 yd. x 2 in. stretch gauze,
• two 9 x 5 in. ABD/combine pads,
• eye pad
• 5 butterfly closures
• Treatments include : 3 sting relief wipes, 9 antibacterial wipes, 2 triple antibiotic ointment packets, 2 burn cream packets and 2 eye wash bottles
• Medications include : 4 Cetafen® acetaminophen tablets, 4 Nutralox® antacid tablets and 4 Proprinal® ibuprofen tablets
• Also includes 2 Diamode® loperamide HCI antidiarrheal tablets
• Easy-to-read first-aid guide is written by Dr. William W. Forgey
• All pieces fit neatly into the 3-compartment nylon backpack with adjustable shoulder straps—stows neatly in a closet or trunk of a car
• Please note the REI Emergency Kit does not include matches - See more at:

Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

Alessadra, I like your revision. I am glad you left out most of the "also includes" phrasing. The content stands out well.

I'm going to post my revision within the hour, so you can compare yours with mine. I kept some of the categories so readers can see the relationships between items.

Thanks for taking the challenge!

Lynn

Manisha Patel

No wonder why have the posts with "lists" are so much popular in this internet world :) It makes our life so easy to gather the overall essence of the content with small bullet lists. I love your this post. Also, you explained it nicely with your revision of bullet lists. Keep up the good work!

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