Business Writing

Writing Habits to Break in 2010

Many people think of the start of the new year as a clean slate, a new beginning. For those who are looking for a fresh start for their business communications, here are some habits to break.

Note: If other business writing habits are driving you crazy, please share them below.

1. If you are a manager or supervisor who closely edits employee writing, stop making small, insignificant changes in their work. For example, do not change essential to important or can to are able. Those kinds of changes discourage and irritate writers. If you must make changes, explain each edit to the writer so he or she understands why your change makes the piece stronger. Get my Help Employees Write Better if your goal is to develop writers on the job.

2. If you hear yourself thinking "My English teacher would never put up with this!" stop looking backward. Recognize that your English teacher's goal was to teach you the fundamentals of English composition--not to be a savvy business writer in the 21st century. Stop clinging to crusty old directives such as "You can never end a sentence with a preposition." Get a new style guide, and read this article: "FAQs on the Rules of Writing."

3. If you write paragraphs of more than 10 typed lines, stop at 5. People skip over thick slabs of text in search of skimmable content. No matter how well written your long paragraphs may be, if no one reads them, your hard work is wasted. Follow this rule: one idea per paragraph. When a paragraph gets long, break it into two or more ideas.

4. If you write sentences of 40 words or more, stop stringing your readers along. Limit yourself to 35 words per sentence, and make sure your average sentence length is 20 words or less. (The average words per sentence of this blog post is 15.8.) Unlike novels and nonfiction books, in business documents readers do not tolerate long sentences. They pick out a few key words in them, and then they assume what you mean.

5. If you regularly write the same pieces--for example, proposals or replies to client questions--stop using old boilerplate (standard text that is pasted into messages or that always appears in them). Although fast for writers, old boilerplate often ignores readers' needs, and it makes the company look lazy and out of touch. Early in 2010, review your boilerplate content to update, shorten, and enrich it.

6. If you are a free spirit who doesn't proofread, stop making yourself look bad. I am sorry to sound harsh, but those misspelled words, uncapitalized proper nouns, and sentences that aren't may be doing you real professional harm. In my 2009 business writing classes, hundreds of people spoke about their loathing for obvious errors, errors that proofreading would have eliminated. Start using your grammar and spelling checker and proofreading aloud.

7. If you typically send "Reply to All" email, stop before clicking the "Reply to All" box. Ask yourself, Does everyone on the To and CC line need my response? If people do not have to have it, don't include them. Reducing unnecessary email is just as important as the print equivalent of saving a tree--it saves people's sanity. To update your email skills, take Email Intelligence, an online class, or get "110 Tips for Sending Email That Gets Read--and Gets Results," a booklet in PDF or printed format.

8. If you use !!!! and wild smiley faces to create excitement, stop relying on symbols to communicate. Unfortunately, they don't come across as professional. For better methods, read "Add Zing to Your Writing," a sample article from "Clarity, Conciseness, Zing, and More: 262 Ways to Take Business Writing Beyond the Basics."

9. If you restrict your writing to paragraph form, stop limiting yourself. Add bullet points when you have a list, and headings when you have several topics. Use a bold font to highlight key ideas at the beginning of your paragraphs, as I have done in this blog post. Add formatting to add readability to your messages.

The current issue of my free e-newsletter features "10 Ways to Get Your Writing in Shape." If you haven't read it yet, subscribe to Better Writing at Work here.

Enjoy!

Lynn
Syntax Training

Dear John et al.,

Can the Latin abbreviation et al. be used at the end of the greeting in an email? It would look like this:

Dear John et al.,

Hello, Kimia et al.

A reader whom I will call Doug wrote to ask that question. What is your answer for Doug?

The expression et al., which is always followed by a period, stands for "and others." So the greetings above would mean:

Dear John and others,

Hello, Kimia and others.

Sorry, Doug. I am voting no--for several reasons:

1. Many people do not know the meaning of et al., so using it will confuse readers. 
2. Dear and hello are warm, positive words. Et al., the abbreviation of et alii, is about as friendly as a flu shot. They don't fit well together.
3. The use of et al. is not standard in greetings, so people will stumble over it, wondering whether they missed an important new rule somewhere.
4. Writers using the unusual greeting will worry about how to punctuate after it, and their readers will spend time questioning whatever punctuation choice the writers make. In fact, Doug wrote, "I do not use a comma or colon after the period in al. as I feel it looks awkward." My grammar and spelling checker seemsto think so too. Yet in the United States and Canada, we include punctuation after a greeting.

For those wondering about the rightful place of et al., it is in footnotes and citations. For example, in a bibliography, rather than listing five authors of a scientific paper, we can list the first author's name and then use et al. for the remaining four authors. Et al. always refers to people--not things.

Doug was suggesting the use of et al. to avoid greeting a list of people. He is wise to avoid a salutation like this:

Dear John, Joseph, Kayla, Nadia, and Robert,

A list like that makes readers wonder about the order of names. By coincidence, it is alphabetical, but is it hierarchical too? Is the director's name first? Last? 

Here are safer choices:

Dear John and team members,

Dear Chamber members,

Hello, Marketing team.

Greetings, everybody.

That is my view of et al. and greetings. Do you agree?

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

When Lights Go Out on the Web

I apologize that this site has only been up only intermittently over the past two days. Even I have been unable to access it. That is frustrating!

Having my blog down reminds me that we need to recognize this fact: The lights do go out on electronic communication. When we haven't received an email from someone, we cannot assume he or she did not send it. We can only be certain that we have not received it. (Be sure to check your junk mail folder too.)

Example: On Saturday, October 24, I received two emails from individuals at a client company. Guess when they sent them.

It took 3.5 weeks for me to receive their email. They sent the messages on Tuesday, September 29. 

Because we all work in Seattle, we could have walked the messages and the responses to each other many times during the period they were stuck in cyberspace.

It happens. So I encourage you to smile and assume the best of others when you haven't heard from them. Pick up the phone. Stop by their offices. Send them a note via interoffice mail or the post.

It may simply be that some lights have gone out on the Web.

Sorry for my absence! I will try to catch up with posts and comments over the next couple of days.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Email Reminders--Pass Them On

Because of our new online Email Intelligence class, the topic of efficient email is always on my mind. Here are a few reminders that came up in email classes recently. Workshop participants wish everyone would follow them. Please pass them on.

1. If you use Outlook and want to invite people to an event, use the Outlook calendar--not email. When you send people a meeting request, they can accept the request without having to take any extra steps to add the event to their calendars.

I have been recommending this tip for years, but a recent class attendee reminded us of its importance: She had invited coworkers to a shower for an employee. Unfortunately, turnout was low because people did not pay attention to the email invitation. A meeting request would have prevented that situation and filled the party room.

2. It is efficient to use the subject line for a one-line message such as "Dr. Mendez Has Arrived" or "Lunch Orders Due at 10 A.M." But using the subject line for a long sentence drives email readers crazy. Don't do it!

3. Be sure your email subject and message match. In a class last week, a participant said he felt misled whenever the subject suggested something other than what followed in the email.

4. Always include a subject. After giving this advice for years, I omitted the subject on an email to eight people last week. What a humbling mistake! Here is how it happened: The file I had attached had the same name as the subject I would have used. So when I checked the email before sending it, I saw the right words--they just weren't on the right line (the subject line), as I had thought.

5. Include your phone number. People outside the company dread having to dig up phone numbers when they don't appear at the bottom of an email. Whenever I have to track down a phone number to follow up, it irks me. So please include your phone number in your signature block or in a closing sentence. 

6. Don't cc someone's manager to get action. A woman told a story of a consultant who harangued her for not responding to his earlier messages --and copied her boss on the message. He had to apologize shamefacedly to both of them when it was discovered that he had mistyped her email address on all the earlier messages.

7. Don't harangue in email. It's disrespectful and vulgar. Beyond that, you might be wrong. (See number 6.)

What email tips would you like people to remember and pass on? Please tell us.

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

The Stingy Email

In the Writing Tune-Up workshop in McLean, Virginia, last week, I asked participants about their pet peeves, the things that drive them crazy in the writing they read at work. A common email pet peeve came up.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

*****************
Employee writes this to supervisor:
Subject: Renting an Offsite Retreat Space

As we discussed, I researched the cost of renting a space offsite for our fourth-quarter retreat. Based on the costs and services, I recommend we consider two venues: South Sound Retreat Center and McMillan House. I would appreciate your view.

The benefits of the South Sound Retreat Center are . . . . [Two sentences of benefits appear here.]

The benefits of McMillan House are . . . . [Two sentences of benefits appear here.]

The costs are similar: [Three sentences about cost details appear here.]

Both spaces are suitable for a professional audience and are available on our preferred dates.

Because the Retreat Center is closer for most people in our group, I am leaning toward that space. However, I would like to know whether you have a preference. Do you have any experience with either?

Let me know if you have a preference, and I will follow up to secure a space.

Supervisor replies:
Subject: Re: Renting an Offsite Retreat Space

Makes sense to me.  

*************************

When the employee reads the reply above, he or she is peeved. Why?

If you've ever received a message like that, you know why. You spent an hour doing research. You spent 20 minutes writing a well-organized email. You asked for input. You got a burp in reply.

Here's the way business writing class participants describe the pet peeve: After you put a lot of work into a message, you get two words in response, and those two words may not even make sense.

If you are guilty of such stingy replies, here is what you can do:

1. Read or scan the entire message before you reply. Notice what the writer has asked of you.

2. Give the writer what he or she needs. If your response is a simple agreement, say it nicely, like this:

**********************
Subject: Re: Renting an Offsite Retreat Space

Your idea of going with the Retreat Center makes sense to me. I do not have experience with either location.

Thanks for all your work on the research. Let me know if you need anything more from me.

************************

Yes, the second message may take another 60 seconds to consider and type. However, that investment is a lot smaller than the time it may take to relight a spark in a demoralized employee.

What do you think about stingy email? Please share your view.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Email Etiquette and Whitelisting

This week I received an email from someone suggesting that we get together to network and learn about each other's businesses. Like me, she lives in Seattle.

I enthusiastically emailed my reply. Then I received this response:

"I apologize for this automatic reply to your email.

"To control spam, I now allow incoming messages only from senders I have approved beforehand.

"If you would like to be added to my list of approved senders, please fill out the short request form (see link below). Once I approve you, I will receive your original message in my inbox. You do not need to resend your message. I apologize for this one-time inconvenience."

The link below the message took me to a screen in which I had to verify my name and email address and type the wavy letters I saw in a box.

It took me only a minute to read the message and take the action. The one-time inconvenience was brief. But why inconvenience others at all, especially if we are reaching out to them? 

I suggest that people who use such spam-control methods add people to their whitelist (their list of people whose email will be accepted) before they send them email. If they do so, replying will be hassle-free for those they want to correspond with.

What do you suggest?

Lynn
Syntax Training

When They Misspell Your Name

Last week I led my first live online class, Email Intelligence. A participant asked what to do to make people spell her name correctly in email. As someone whose first and last names are often misspelled, I empathized. But I didn't have a good suggestion for getting other people to change their behavior.

Then yesterday someone I have known rather well for a couple of years spelled my name Lynne rather than Lynn in an email to me. Because it had happened before, I decided to take a small step. When I responded, I signed my name like this, with the parentheses included:

Lynn (without an e)

So if your name is misspelled, you might sign yourself:

Cyndy (with two ys)
Nathen (with an e)
Cathie (with a C and an ie)
Tony (with a y)
Marcia (with a cia)
Syd (with a y)
Kathryn (with an ryn) 

I will pay attention to whether my friend spells my name correctly the next time she writes to me, and I will post a comment here.

Do you have ideas for getting people to spell your name correctly? How do you feel about my suggestion? Is it better to provide a correction or ignore the misspelling? What's your view?

Lynn (without an e) Gaertner-Johnston (with a t)
Syntax Training

 

Good Customer Service Overdone and Underdone

Most companies try hard to communicate well with customers. I had a recent experience of a business trying hard--and yet not hard enough--to communicate with me in email.

Here is the story: I had a reservation at a nice hotel, and I wanted to schedule a massage in the hotel spa. I emailed the reservation desk, as directed on the hotel website. I requested a massage and gave my preferred date and time for the service. I sent my email at 2:06 p.m.

At 2:07 p.m. I received a response. That was fast! However, it was only an email telling me I would get a response promptly. The 375-word email included information about the wonders of staying at the hotel, where I already had a reservation.

At 2:23 p.m. I received a reply letting me know that a massage time slot was available one hour later than I had requested. It stated, "If you would like to reserve the spa treatment, please contact our reservations department." It was signed by Reservations, Spa and Hotel.

At 2:28 I replied, saying that yes, I would like to have a massage at the time offered. I asked, "Do I need to do anything besides sending you this email?" It would have been efficient to get instructions in the recent email from Reservations, but I did not mind asking.

At 2:28, immediately after I sent my reply, I got the 375-word email letting me know I would soon get a reply.

At 2:29 I got a message from a real person whom I will call Melissa. Melissa said she would be happy to reserve a massage for me. She just needed my room confirmation number or my credit card. She was very polite.

At 2:34 I replied with my reservation number.

At 2:34 I got the 375-word email letting me know I would soon get a reply.

At 2:38 I got email confirmation from Melissa that my massage was scheduled.

Did I need all those messages from the hotel? No! However, it would have been helpful to get instructions or reminders from the spa. For example, if Melissa had suggested I bring a swimsuit, I would have been able to enjoy the spa pools while I was there. I had not thought about that.

I would describe this email exchange as customer service overdone and underdone. What is your view?

For tips on writing to customers, please read my current issue of Better Writing at Work. You may subscribe here.

Lynn
Syntax Training

How to Slow Down Email: Ignore Lists

For last week's public Better Business Writing class, I emailed four questions to attendees in advance. They were in list form, like this:

1. What is your job?
2. What do you write on the job? To whom?
3. What do you want to be able to do better in your writing?

4. In terms of how you learn best, what do you hope happens or does not happen in the class?

Just about everyone responded efficiently. They either copied the questions into their reply and answered them in list form, or they answered them inline in my original message, like this:

1. What is your job? Project manager
2. What do you write on the job? Technical documents, user guides, statements of work (SOWs), knowledge base articles
3. What do you want to be able to do better in your writing? Be more concise, write effectively to varied audiences, feel confident that my work is professional 

4. In terms of how you learn best, what do you hope happens or does not happen in the class? No lecturing. Give me writing projects and exercises--then give me feedback on how I do. 

Their listed answers were easy to find and consider. I was able to get a sense of each person's goals and needs in seconds.

However, one person (I'll call her Doris) ignored my list format when she responded. Instead, Doris replied in a 155-word paragraph.

I have nothing against 155-word paragraphs. But they bog me down when I am looking for quick information.

Here's the good news: Change is easy. When I gave Doris private feedback, I told her how her paragraph had slowed me. We looked at it together, and she realized how much time it took to dig out the answer to "What do you want to be able to do better in your writing?"

Doris got it immediately.

If you write to people who ignore your lists or who make you dig out facts from swampy paragraphs, give them feedback. And tell them how easy and efficient it is to change.

For more ideas on how to take writing from so-so to terrific, get my new guide, Clarity, Conciseness, Zing, and More: 262 Ways to Take Business Writing Beyond the Basics.

Lynn
Syntax Training

A Courteous Client Handoff

Last week I worked with a group of applications support engineers who respond to clients' requests in email 24 hours a day. They have an efficient client-communication habit, and I want to share it with you. 

When an engineer refers a client's question or problem to someone else on the team--often on another shift--he lets the client know about the handoff. (I say "he" because the entire team is male.)

Clients learn the name of their new support contact and a general time that the new contact will respond to their question or problem.

This thoughtful habit helps clients feel informed, and it prepares them for follow-up from a different person. It also saves clients time, since they don't write repeatedly to the wrong person.

It's just a simple, smart tip I wanted to pass on.

Could you do handoffs, referrals, or introductions more efficiently?

Lynn
Syntax Training