Business Writing

New Year's Wishes for 2012

People from around the world have been writing to me in search of the correct wording for new year's messages to their English-speaking friends and associates. To help them, I have composed these brief messages as models. I hope you find them helpful.

Note to international readers: If the message says I, it is from one person. If it says we, it is from more than one person or from a business. When you change the subject from I to we (or we to I), the verb stays the same. (Example: "I wish" and "We wish" are both correct.)

Happy 2012! I wish you a new year filled with prosperity, joy, and contentment. [for anyone]

Happy 2012! I wish you a beautiful, magical new year! [for anyone]

On New Year's Day and every day, we wish you joy and fulfillment. Happy new year! [for anyone]

We wish you a new year filled with wonder, peace, and meaning. Happy 2012! [for anyone]

I hope you are blessed with delight, fulfillment, and peace in the new year. [for anyone, has a spiritual feeling]

I wish you a wonderful new year filled with abundance, joy, and treasured moments. May 2012 be your best year yet! [for anyone, especially a professional]

I hope 2012 is a year of great happiness and success for you. Have a wonderful new year! [for anyone, especially a professional]

We are grateful for our work with you in 2011, and we look forward to working together in the new year. Happy 2012! [for a client]

Thank you for being a customer at our ______________. [fill in a word or a phrase such as hair salon, restaurant, gym, health club, or store.] We look forward to serving you in 2012. We wish you peace, happiness, and abundant good health in the new year. [for a customer]

Thank you for staying with us. We wish you a beautiful new year filled with peace and gladness. We look forward to seeing you again in 2012. [for a hotel guest]

Thank you for your business in 2011. It has been a pleasure helping you reach your goals, and we look forward to serving you again in the new year. We wish you a prosperous and wonderful 2012! [for a customer or a client]

We are delighted to have you as a customer, and we look forward to serving you in the new year. Have a terrific 2012! [for a customer]

We wish you great happiness in your new home. Have a wonderful new year! [for someone who has moved]

We wish you abundant success and joy in your new location. Happy 2012! [for a business that has moved]

I am personally grateful to each one of you for your tremendous efforts, and I wish everyone a rewarding, joyous new year. I look forward to working with you in 2012. [to a group of employees and associates]

I appreciate your contribution to our success this year. I wish you peace, joy, and fulfillment in 2012. Happy new year! [for an individual employee or associate]

My examples are generic so that you can use them in a variety of situations. However, the more personalized your message is, the more sincere it will feel.

Happy 2012 to you, dear reader! I hope your new year is filled with joyful learning, abundant opportunity, and pleasure in all you do.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Who Should Save Face--You or Your Reader?

I recently emailed a friend to invite her to lunch. I suggested that we meet at the Portage Bay Cafe on Roosevelt. When she wrote back to say yes, she said she had visited the Portage Bay Cafe website, and she wanted to know whether I would like to meet on Terry Avenue, Market Street, or Roosevelt. She recommended Roosevelt as the most convenient location. 

I knew there were three locations. I had already suggested the restaurant on Roosevelt in my invitation! Should I tell my friend that, implicitly criticizing her for not reading carefully?

I didn't want to make my friend feel silly, so I responded, "The Portage Bay Cafe on Roosevelt is perfect."

Today I received an email reply from a business friend who said she had not called me me because she had misplaced my phone number. I scrolled down beneath her reply and saw my original message, with my signature block, including my phone number.

Should I write in reply, "My original message included my phone number," insinuating that she should have looked for it?

That approach seemed foolish and unfriendly to me. I replied simply with my phone number.

In these situations, I let my friends save face rather than pointing out that I had already given them the information they needed. I try to do the same for clients, customers, and others, recognizing that even when I format information so it stands out, fast-moving readers buried in email often will not see the essentials. I have been guilty of the same oversight myself. 

How do you feel in such situations, and how do you handle them? Do you let people know when they have missed something in your email? Or do you simply answer their questions? Please share your experiences.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Notice: Membership Lapsed

This morning I received an email from a professional organization of which I have been a member since October 31, 1989. During those 20+ years, I have served on the board, given pro bono presentations on business writing, and attended dozens of the chapter's breakfast, lunch, and dinner meetings.

Here is the complete notice I received, with the name of the organization disguised:

Subject: Membership lapsed

Hello,

Your membership has not been renewed in time and has now lapsed:

XXXX Seattle Chapter [with URL]

For: Lynn Gaertner-Johnston, Syntax Training
Renewal date: 30 Nov 2011

Please сontact us as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Given the brevity of the email, I suspected it was spam. I cringed in fear when I clicked the link, but it took me to the organization's real website.

Reading the email, you may wonder how many notices I had received inviting me to renew before I got this one. The answer: zero. I am certain of that number because my husband and business partner gets copies of all my business email, and he didn't receive renewal notices either.

Would you agree that the email lacks something? How would you improve it?

Lynn
Syntax Training

Thanks but No Thanks

I have been traveling and checking most of my email on my smart phone. The other day it took my phone what seemed to be 20 seconds to download a message. It was probably only 8 to 10 seconds, but it felt longer because of all the email I had to read.

The time-consuming message? Here is all it said: "Thanks, Lynn."

The writer's signature block, including a fancy company logo, caused the slow download.

I usually appreciate people's kind thanks. But that message just felt like a time waster, especially since the person was thanking me for a message in which I had thanked her for some helpful information.

So it may have been intended as sincere thanks, but it felt like no thanks.

Do you feel as I did when you read messages on your phone? Please share your view.

Lynn
Syntax Training

How Do You Like Your Holiday Cards?

Cathy wrote to me today, concerned about a possible change in how her team sends holiday greeting cards.

In the past they have purchased holiday cards, addressed them to a mailing list of customers and other important people, had everyone on the team sign them, and then mailed them through the US Postal Service.

This year they are considering sending e-cards wishing their customers and important contacts a happy 2012.

Although they can design a beautiful card, Cathy is worried that an emailed PDF will seem lazy compared to their past efforts. She also wonders how recipients will react when they see "Best Wishes for 2012!" or a similar greeting as the subject line.

What do you think as someone who receives holiday greetings? Would you prefer getting a printed card signed by the team in your mailbox? Or do you like e-cards in your inbox?

Please share your views. If you are comfortable doing so, please let us know whether your age is 20-30, 30-50, or 50+, along with the country in which you work.

I look forward to reading your comments--and so will Cathy!

Lynn
Syntax Training 

Strip Off the Wallpaper in Email!

In homes, wallpaper is the paper covering the walls of a room, hallway, or staircase. It is often colored and textured, and it gives a certain feeling to the space, a feeling of comfort, elegance, the outdoors, etc.

In email, wallpaper is a colored, textured background. It gives a feeling of--of driving me nuts!

I hate email wallpaper.

I hate it because when I reply, it forces my message onto the same wallpaper surface, and it often distorts the look of my message. Sometimes wallpaper changes my black font to yellow. It changes the transparent background of my logo to solid white against the color of the wallpaper. Sometimes it even changes my Arial or Calibri typeface into something else.

It papers over my message with someone else's idea of a pleasing décor. Not fair!

In a business writing class last week, participants told me another reason they hate wallpaper: On a smart phone, it appears as an attachment, and they waste time opening it.

There is no good reason to use wallpaper in business email. Strip it off!

Do you agree? If so, please spread the word. If not, please share your reasoning.

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

Hello to All!

I was teaching in North Carolina this week, when a participant in the business writing class shared her most embarrassing email mistake.

The mistake was in an email she sent to everyone in the company--about 400 people--in her role as a senior manager of human resources. It involved a typo in her greeting, a typo her grammar and spelling checker did not catch, and neither did she. 

What was the mistake? This simple, enthusiastic greeting:

Hell to all!

How is that for embarrassing? Can you match it? 

Lynn
Syntax Training

Writing Advice for Job Seekers

The other day I was teaching a business writing class in Portland, Oregon, when a manager said this:

"I got an email from someone who had just completed his certification and was looking for a job. In his email, he didn't even capitalize his own name! And there were other errors in spelling and grammar. I didn't consider hiring him for one moment." 

The job was for someone with diving skills, not writing skills. So why did the hiring manager so quickly reject the applicant, who had completed his diving certification?

The manager explained:

"I could not have someone like that representing the company."

People who are applying for jobs need to realize that application screeners and hiring managers will judge them by their writing, whether the job involves much writing or not. Not capitalizing one's name is sloppy, clueless behavior. It shows that applicants don't know how to present themselves professionally. Therefore, they won't represent the company professionally.

As a reader of this blog, you already know that writing matters. You wouldn't think of not capitalizing your name or of making obvious errors in a job-application message.

But some people around you don't know. Consider that diver, who was no doubt proud of his new certification and pleased about his job prospects. Do you know people like him? Talk to them. Tell them they MUST communicate professionally if they want a decent job.

Will you spread the word?

Lynn
Syntax Training  

Do Customers Know Your Lingo?

Last week I presented at the fall conference of the Commercial Food Equipment Service Association (CFESA), which took place at a lovely resort in Scottsdale, Arizona.

I needed to wake up early to put finishing touches on my PowerPoint slides, so I called the hotel operator for a wake-up call at 5:30 a.m. When I requested the call, the operator's response was "Do you want a follow-up?"

I was not expecting that response, so I puzzled over whether she had said follow-up, fill-up, or something completely different. I said, "I'm sorry. I don't understand. Would you repeat that?" She repeated, "Do you want a follow-up?"

Although I stay in hotels fairly often, I had never before been asked about a follow-up. I explained that I wanted a wake-up call, not a follow-up.

Then it was the operator's turn to explain. She said, "Will one call be enough? Or do you need a follow-up call?"

Finally I understood. A "follow-up" was a second call for those who don't wake up easily. No, I did not need a follow-up.

When the operator phoned the next morning at 5:30, she asked, "Do you need a follow-up?" This time, I understood. I told her I was awake and did not need a follow-up.

A similar exchange might have taken place in email:

"May I have a wake-up call at 5:30?"

"Do you want a follow-up?"

"No, I want a wake-up call."

And so on.

Problems occur when we business communicators assume that the other person knows our language. This assumption often involves business representatives communicating with customers and clients, using terms that are second nature in the business. To the hotel operator, "a follow-up" was as familiar as sunshine in Scottsdale. But it puzzled me, the customer. 

What about the expressions you use with your customers in email and on the phone? Do your customers, clients, donors, and others know your lingo?

Please share your comments here.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Is "We" Polite or Just Ambiguous?

The other day in a Better Business Writing course a manager admitted she uses we when she means you. She gave examples like these:

"We need to take on this project."

"We need to get this task done by Friday."

She uses we to come across as polite rather than pushy. But she really wants the person reading her message to take on the project and get the task done.

I was glad the manager asked my opinion. She gave me the chance to talk about the time a client informed me that "All we need now is to write the letter of agreement." I waited about a week, then phoned the client to let him know I had not received the agreement. He laughed and told me he thought I was writing it.

That's the problem with we. It doesn't clarify responsibilities. It's as bad as the passive "This tasks needs to get done by Friday." In fact, it's worse. When someone says, "This task needs to get done," the next question is often "Who will do it?" But in response to "We need to get this task done," people rarely ask "Who is we?"

I suggested the manager choose among sentences like these:

"Please take on this project."

"I would like you to take on this project."

"I am hoping you will be able to take on this project."

"This project falls within your responsibilities. Can you fit it in?"

"Please finish this task by Friday."

"Can you please finish this task by Friday?"

"This task needs to be done by Friday. Can you do it?"

"The project requires that you finish this task by Friday."

"The deadline for this project is Friday. Can you meet it?"

Here is my advice: Avoid using we when you mean you. Use you in requests and directives to be both polite and unambiguous. 

Have you experienced we/you confusion on the job? Please tell us your story.

Lynn
Syntax Training