Business Writing

How to Capitalize Qi Gong

Susan wrote with this capitalization question:

"I work for a man who does Chinese energy work called 'qigong.' When that word is used in writing (on our web site, for instance), people tend to capitalize it. My contention is that it should be treated like the word yoga and should not be capitalized unless it becomes a proper noun such as 'Priscilla's Yoga Institute.'"

My first thought was that Susan was right: qigong would only be capitalized if it were named after a person (like Alzheimer's or Hodgkin's disease) or used as part of a name.

But then I grabbed my American Heritage College Dictionary to look up the term. It was capitalized and rendered as two words: Qi Gong. Here is the definition:

"A Chinese system of prescribed physical exercises or movements performed in a meditative state."

And when I used OneLook Dictionary Search, I found six of the seven online resources capitalized the term in their listing. Why?

Then I remembered my Chicago Manual of Style, a great resource on handling foreign words in print.

Chicago makes this point on the capitalization of Chinese and Japanese words written in English:

"Names of institutions, schools of thought, religions, and so forth are capitalized if set in roman [type], lowercased if set in italics." [Chicago recommends italics for words in a foreign language that are not familiar to readers.]

Following Chicago's guidance, since Qi Gong is a "system of prescribed physical exercises"--similar to an institution or school of thought--it will be rendered like this: Qi Gong (or with Susan's spacing: Qigong).

Of course, if we follow Chicago, we can't use Qigong in Scrabble--or can we? Yoga yes, Qigong no? If you are a Scrabble player and know whether Qigong is acceptable, please comment. Those of us who get stuck with that 10-point letter q when all the u's are gone would like to know.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Because, Because, Because

I've been asked the same question twice within a week, so here I am, happy to clear up a misconception.

Question: Isn't it unacceptable to start a sentence with the word because? I learned it was wrong.

Short answer: It is acceptable to start a sentence with any word you want.

Longer answer: Yes, it's perfectly fine to start sentences with because. In fact, it's a good idea when you want to vary sentence structures, create transitions, and write smoothly.

Example:

You have been a valued customer for seven years, and we are very grateful for your business. Because we appreciate our relationship with you, I want to personally explain a change in our delivery policy.

The clause beginning with because ties the idea in the first sentence to the idea in the second sentence. Beyond that, the two longish sentences (one compound, one complex) flow rather than sounding staccato. The because clause improves the flow.

Apparently, the silly rule against because beginning a sentence is an attempt by teachers to discourage young students from writing fragments:

I don't have my homework. Because it blew out of my notebook.

The because question reminds me of a lyric in The Wizard of Oz, which I have written incorrectly as a fragment:

We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz. Because, because, because, because, because--because of the wonderful things he does.

That's exactly the thing teachers are trying to stamp out.

If you have been hesitant to start a sentence with because, forget that misguided rule. It's perfectly okay.

Because of some best-forgotten problems with our web sites, this blog was down for several days. Thanks to Kathy and Christine for checking in on me.

Lynn
Syntax Training 

When Right Is Wrong

Can right be wrong? Vicki raised this question in a Writing Tune-Up class today. She worried that if she used correct grammar that other people didn't recognize as correct, they would think she was wrong. Vicki's response was to use incorrect grammar--to be accepted.

Vicki decided to be wrong to sound right. Does that make sense?

Yes. As much as I hate to encourage incorrect grammar, it can be the right choice. When correct grammar screams "Pay attention to me!" incorrect grammar is the quiet, correct choice.

Example: If I am addressing a typical group--not a crowd of copy editors or English teachers--I will say things like this:

Who did you vote for?
Is that him?
It's me.

I know each of those statements contains an error (and my grammar and spelling checker knows it too). These would be correct--technically:

Whom did you vote for?
Is that he?
It's I.

Although technically correct, those sentences would fail with an audience--even most readers--because their correctness demands attention. The correct grammar becomes the overriding message.

So I agreed with Vicki, but I didn't encourage her. To my taste, Vicki was setting the bar too low. She was using sentences like "Her and Rob are here" and "Give Kate and I a ride" out of fear that "She and Rob" and "Kate and me" would sound wrong to her audience. Vicki may be right about her audience. But I cannot bring myself to use her as the subject of a sentence and I as an object, and I would never argue for those uses.

We need to communicate with our listening audience and our readers, but we must not underestimate them. Vicki risks using "Her and Rob are" with a group that knows better.

Also, we need to use language that communicates who we are in addition to what we have to say. Blatantly bad grammar presents us badly.

What do you think? Are you willing to let slip "He laid down for a nap" or "Who did you tell?" in the interest of easy communication? Or would that be selling out our rich English language?

Lynn
Syntax Training

Happy National Grammar Day!

It's not exactly a national holiday with a day off work, but March 4  marks National Grammar Day. I got the word from Mr. Rewrite, a defender of good grammar, punctuation, and usage.  Get the details at the celebratory host site, National Grammar Day. 

No doubt the site suggests ways to celebrate. Here are a few I suggest:

• Create a list of your grammar pet peeves and invite others to add to it.
• Practice starting sentences with "She and I" and "He and I." Speak these sentences aloud to others.
• Review the list of grammar sites at National Grammar Day and forward the list to people who would benefit from it.
• Click through a few of my posts on grammar and usage (in the Grammar and Usage category at right). See if you can find something you didn't know or didn't remember. If you already know most of what I wrote, smile smugly.
• Use the word grammar in several emails you send out, and spell the word correctly.
• Add to this list by commenting below.

Happy Grammar Day!

Lynn
Syntax Training

"Sales Are" or "Sales Is"?

John from Buffalo, New York, wrote today to ask a question about subject-verb agreement. Because he is the guy everyone turns to at work when they have a grammar question and because he could not find the answer in three reference manuals, I am happy to help. I don't want the entire department to think John is slipping.

John asked which of these is correct:

"Tobacco sales is the cause . . . " OR "Tobacco sales are the cause . . . "

The answer is "sales are." Here is why:

John has chosen the plural subject sales. It requires the plural verb are.

John and his coworkers may have been confused by the singular word cause. But the verb doesn't need to agree with what comes after it (in this case, what grammarians call a "subject complement"). The verb needs to agree with the subject, sales.

Here are other ways he might have structured the sentence:

Sales of tobacco are the cause . . . 
The sale of tobacco is the cause . . .
Tobacco sales have caused . . .
Tobacco sales cause . . . [Cause is a plural verb; the singular is causes.]

Here are other examples like John's:

Fortune cookies are the only dessert served.
Model trains are his hobby.
Comice pears are the only fruit we grow.
Mysteries are his favorite genre.

But:

Getting the answers is John's specialty. [Here the subject is getting--not answers.]

Lynn
Syntax Training

"Let's Discuss"--A Cliffhanger

In a business writing class I taught recently, several managers ended their messages with this cliffhanger:

Let's discuss.

The sentence is not a cliffhanger because we don't know what will come of the discussion. It's a cliffhanger (something that leaves the audience hanging on for more) because we are waiting for another word or phrase. Let's discuss what?

Discuss is a transitive verb. In other words, it requires an object. We can't just discuss--we have to discuss something. Discuss is different from talk, argue, and debate. Those words do not require an object. We can talk, argue, and debate without indicating what we are talking, arguing, and debating about. Discuss does not work that way. We must provide an object when we use it:

Let's discuss the issue.
Let's discuss a solution.
Let's discuss the football game.
Let's discuss the use of transitive verbs.

To use "Let's discuss" at the end of a message is to write an abbreviation. For informal email, that may be fine. But for much business writing--especially memos and reports up the chain from managers to directors to vice presidents--"Let's discuss" is substandard.

Language evolves. Perhaps when I teach those managers again in a few years, "Let's discuss" will have become standard in business writing. Maybe it will have been reclassified as a transitive and an intransitive verb. Until then it's a cliffhanger.

If you don't agree, let's discuss . . . it. Please leave a comment.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Less Then I Expected

This week I received a disappointing email, a marketing message from a person who describes herself as a coach in the areas of writing, publishing, and marketing books. It was the subject line that disappointed me:

Would You Rather Cuddle Up With a Good Book Then Market It?

Someone who makes her living with words ought to recognize that mistake immediately. The word then should have been than.

The then/than mistake comes up regularly in the business writing classes I teach. I offer this easy way to recognize the correct choice, then or than:

If you are making a comparison, choose than.

Examples:

Do you like your new computer more than your old one?
The drive was longer than he had realized.
The house is smaller than I remembered.
This is a question of style rather than substance.
We need solutions rather than excuses.
When you learn to write better, you improve much more than a skill.
He would rather write than edit.
Seattle has cooler summer weather than Spokane.
I would rather curl up with a good book than market it.

Those examples illustrate comparisons between computers, a drive and an expectation of it, a house and a memory of it, style and substance, solutions and excuses, etc.

Whenever your expression uses rather or a comparative word such as more, less, older, farther, clearer, etc., your correct choice is than.

If you are not making a comparison, the correct word is then. Then shows time, sequence, or consequence.

Time: The doorbell rang then.
Sequence: First organize your thoughts; then write a draft.
Consequence: If you eat too much, then you will feel sluggish.

Of course, my title for this post contains an obvious error. I hope you caught it. But if you have trouble recognizing the right word in confusing word pairs, see my guide "60 Quick Word Fixes." It explains affect/effect, discrete/discreet, principal/principle (which many people use incorrectly!), and many other tricky word pairs.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Me, Myself, and the Presidential Candidates

I have been watching the debates of the candidates vying for the nomination of their party for U.S. president. Whatever their politics, I would like them to get one thing straight about English grammar:

The word myself is not correct in place of I or me. That means it is wrong to say things like these:

The other candidates and myself agree on this issue.

Both John and myself have plans in place to solve this problem.

You will get the same answers from John and myself.

Here are the correct versions:

The other candidates and I agree on this issue. (You can recognize that I is correct because "I agree on this issue" is correct. Also, your grammar and spelling checker should offer the correction.)

Both John and I have plans in place to solve this problem. ("I have plans in place" is correct, and your grammar and spelling checker should tell you so.)

You will get the same answers from John and me. ("You will get them from me" sounds and is correct. However, my grammar and spelling checker got this wrong: it suggested I. )

Use myself to reflect back to an I earlier in the sentence:

I would like to take that question myself. (I . . . myself)

I myself instituted a similar program. ( I myself)

I can speak for myself. (I . . . myself)

Whether you accept the candidates' views and promises or not, do not be misled by their incorrect use of myself. Saying it repeatedly in Iowa and New Hampshire does not make it right.

Lynn

Entitled or Titled?

On Monday I led seminars for the communications group of a huge company. When I asked this sophisticated audience to find errors in sentences, they identified an error I did not intend. Here is the sentence:

She was quoting from a white paper entitled "Avoiding Antitrust Violations".

In the United States, the error is the period outside the closing quotation marks. It belongs inside in the U.S. However, these workshop participants pointed out entitled. In their journalism classes they had learned that titled is correct. Are they right?

Yes. Titled is correct to refer to the title of a work. But some style manuals assert that entitled is also correct.

In Common Errors in English Usage Paul Brians points out that the English author Chaucer used entitled as I did above. Brians says it may be pretentious but not wrong.

The Gregg Reference Manual says it is now "generally acceptable" to use entitled as I did. 

The Associated Press Stylebook (AP) says I'm wrong: Only titled is correct for the title of a work.

The Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications agrees with AP in saying my usage is wrong.

Garner's Modern American Usage says my usage is fine when used as a past participle, that is "The book is entitled . . . " But Garner frowns on this usage: "What are you going to entitle your article?" He prefers title in such a sentence.

The Chicago Manual of Style does not appear to address the question--at least I couldn't find entitle/title in its index.

As for me, I am going to change my ways. If a knowledgeable group of corporate communicators all view entitle as wrong, I am going to move to their side. Starting today, I will use entitle only when I mean "have the right," as in "You are entitled to a 10 percent discount" or "You are entitled to one parking space."

I have used the word entitled in many written pieces. To eliminate it, I will search my computer for documents that include the word, then use the Find and Replace function for each document. Once I have revised my documents, I just hope I can get my brain to make the change as easily.

Lynn

Verb Tenses for Meeting Minutes

Peter wrote recently to ask about the appropriate verb tenses to use in meeting minutes. Read these sentence pairs he asked about and decide which sentences sound better for meeting notes and minutes.

A. John said the next meeting will be on October 1.
B. John said the next meeting would be on October 1.

A. Min reported that the new shipment arrived today and is ready for processing.
B. Min reported that the new shipment had arrived that day and was ready for processing.

A. Stella said we need to seek a legal opinion.
B. Stella said we needed to seek a legal opinion.

Which do you think work better--the As or the Bs?

The As are more immediate. When I read them, it is as if I were there. As an attendee at the meeting, I might have asked, "Excuse me. What did John just say?" And the answer would be "John said the next meeting will be on October 1."

The A sentences use the same verb tense the person at the meeting used.

In contrast, the B sentences move the speaker's words into the past, or at least they seem to do so. Did Min report that the new shipment "had arrived that day"? No, probably not. She probably reported that it "arrived today." Similarly, Stella probably said "We need to seek a legal opinion." Although it is possible she said "We needed to seek a legal opinion," it is not likely.

Remember that your grammar and spelling checker does not recognize that you are writing minutes, so ignore its questions about your verb tenses. Usually picking the appropriate verb tense should be easy. But it gets hard when you wait a long time before writing the minutes. If the meeting took place weeks ago and today is October 2, it may seem silly to write "John said the next meeting will be on October 1." It is silly. You need to write the minutes sooner, preferably within a few days of the meeting.

For more suggestions on writing meeting notes and minutes, read this post, Tips for Writing Meeting Minutes.

Lynn

 

Sales Department or sales department?

Yesterday in The Keys to Error-Free Writing someone asked about a topic that comes up often:

Do we capitalize department, as in "Finance Department"? And how about department by itself?

These sentences illustrate standard capitalization of words such as department, committee, team, unit, lab, division, and company:

1. Jamie works in the Finance Department. (Finance is the name of a department. Both words are capitalized.)
2. Jamie works in Finance. (Finance is the name of the department, group, or division.)
3. Jamie works in finance. (Finance is Jamie's specialty but not the name of his or her team.)
4. Have some finance people review this budget. (Finance refers to an area of expertise--not a specific group.)
5. Jamie is joining the department. (Department, group, company, and similar words are lowercase without a specific name, but see below.)

Typically the word Company or Division, standing alone, is capitalized in legal documents when it stands for the company's or division's name.

The title of this post is "Sales Department or sales department?" When you write to a company and want to communicate with someone in sales or about sales, the correct rendering is lowercase. Capitalize Sales (and any similar word) only when you know it is the name of the unit.

I hope the information above is helpful.

Lynn

Cite Your References Please

In business writing classes I often hear questions like these:

My boss says never to use a comma with and. Is that correct?

My manager says never to start a sentence with but. Is she right?

Our newsletter editor says never to start a sentence with however. Is that a rule?

I hear so many so-called rules and nevers. Where do they come from? No one knows for certain. That is why I counsel people this way:

Ask your managers (bosses, editors, etc.) to cite their references please.

It's not enough for the boss to say "I learned it this way." The rules have changed, and many times our bosses' teachers (and our own) were simply wrong.

If you work with someone who has a rule that seems odd or a never that you question, simply ask the person to cite his or her references. If a style guide can't be produced that supports the "rule," then can't we safely ignore or reject it?

I describe several style manuals on my web site here. Get one of those volumes or another respected manual (one published in this century) to use on the job.

To help your manager break free of slavishly following old-fashioned or incorrect rules, try a conversation like this one:

Your manager: I changed this sentence. It's incorrect to start a sentence with and.

You: That's fine with me. I want to be sure that I am following all the latest rules, though, and I checked The Gregg Reference Manual. It said that starting a sentence with and can be effective if it is not overused. Which reference book says it is incorrect? [Then hold your breath.]

It's another thing, of course, if your manager simply doesn't like to begin sentences with and. If it is simply a preference, meet your reader's needs.

I've written about the questions I used to start this post (above). Check out these entries:

Can "And" or "But" Start a Sentence? (includes however)

Commas With "And"

Enjoy.

Lynn

A Woman, a Black, an Hispanic--No!

On Comcast's online news, I just read an article about the reaction of U.S. Democrats to a Supreme Court decision. The Associated Press (AP) writer stated:

A historically diverse field of Democratic presidential candidates--a woman, a black, an Hispanic and five whites--denounced an hours-old Supreme Court affirmative action ruling. . . .

An Hispanic? No way, Jose. The article an precedes words that start with a vowel sound:

an action
an egg
an iguana
an opera
an umbrella
an hour
an MBA

The word Hispanic starts with a consonant sound, h, doesn't it? In my American Heritage College Dictionary the h is pronounced. If we agree to pronounce the h, then let's write:

a woman, a black, and a Hispanic

However, if you live in a place where the word is pronounced "istoric," you may use an.

I was pleased to see that the AP writer did not say "an historically diverse field," although that might have been consistent with "an Hispanic."

If you are remembering a time when "an historic" was the rule, I am too. When I was growing up in the U.S., we always wrote "an historic" and "an historical." But that style is now out. Let's just call it an historical use--not a current one.

For more about a and an, read this post.

Lynn

Microsoft Tips on Grammar, Punctuation, Etc.

People in business writing seminars often ask me this excellent question:

How can I know whether the changes suggested by my Microsoft grammar and spelling checker are correct?

You can't, not without understanding the rules of grammar, punctuation, usage, and sentence structure. But one way to find out more is to turn on your "Office Assistant," a Microsoft Help feature. Here is how:

From the Help menu, click Show the Office Assistant.

In my version, Office 2003, the Assistant appears as an animated paperclip, robot, genie, dog, or one of four other entities.

To choose a different Assistant, click the Assistant, then Options. Choose Gallery, and then scroll through the Assistants until you find one you like. Click OK.

When you use your grammar and spelling checker, your Assistant will provide explanations. For example, in a guide I am working on, I wrote:

Will you write under your own name, or will your supervisor's name be on the pieces you write?

The Assistant gave me excellent advice on sentence structure, along with three examples. Although none of the examples was just like my sentence, one was close enough that I understood how I might revise my sentence, like this:

Will you write under your own name or your supervisor's name?

If an explanation does not appear, click Explain.

The explanations are helpful when Microsoft's suggestions are general, such as "Passive Voice (consider revising)" and "Verb Use (consider revising)." Sometimes explanations may not seem to apply to your sentence, for example, those on verb use. But the fact that Microsoft has flagged your sentence should prompt you to consider simplifying it.

As someone who teaches business writing, I know a lot about sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, and the rules of writing. Yet I still find the grammar and spelling checker and the Assistant's guidance helpful, especially for finding passive voice verbs. Although a suggested change may not always fit my situation, the explanation is correct, just not applicable. That is why I suggest reading the explanations as an easy way to learn more about writing rules. 

If you are using Office 2007, please comment on any new features in the grammar and spelling checker and the Office Assistant. I will appreciate the information, and I am sure others will too.

Lynn    

Email, Emails--Singular or Plural?

Email is? Email are? Emails are? In yesterday's writing class, attendees argued about whether the word email is singular or plural and how to use it.

One day no doubt all style manuals will jump in to provide an opinion, but now only the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications offers guidance. (At least it is the only style manual on my bookshelf that does so. Please let me know if you have other resources.)

Here is what the excellent Microsoft Manual says:

"Use e-mail to refer collectively to e-mail messages. After you have established the context of electronic mail, it is all right to use mail instead of e-mail. . . ."

"Use e-mail message or message to refer to an individual piece of e-mail. Do not use e-mail as a synonym for message."

The Microsoft Manual declares it incorrect to say "Send me an e-mail" or "You have two new e-mails."

Following Microsoft's guidance then, email would take a singular verb, for example, "Email is a lifesaver in our industry." For more than one, you would use "email messages": "Your email messages have come back undeliverable."

That is useful guidance. However, based on my experience with writers at companies large and small, I can confidently say that people are not following Microsoft's rules. I often see these constructions:

• Send me an email. (Microsoft would say "Send me an e-mail message."
• I emailed you twice. (Microsoft frowns on using email as a verb. Rather, it recommends "I sent you two e-mail messages.")
• You received at least 20 emails from employees." (Microsoft avoids the word e-mails.)

Although my usual stance is to take cover in the safety of respected style guides, I believe our common usage will quickly win out. That is why I am comfortable using the language in the examples above. Because many people use the plural noun emails, it will soon be standard usage. Because most people will "email you" rather than "send you an email message," I believe the verb email will soon be recognized as concise rather than questionable.

So how about singular and plural? Email takes a singular verb:

The email is constant. My email takes forever to read.

Emails takes a plural verb:

Both emails were caught in the spam filter. His emails from Australia are a delight to read.

You may also be scratching your head about whether email requires a hyphen, particularly because I have written it with and without above. (All the withs are when citing the Microsoft Manual.) All my style guides recommend the hyphen, and only the Gregg Reference Manual even mentions the unhyphenated version. However, I myself omit the hyphen. I am simply awaiting the day when all style manuals leave it out, and then my materials will be current. That's long-range thinking!

Note: If you work in a company and must use a consistent, accepted style, follow the Microsoft Manual, by all means. I believe it will soon catch up and accept popular usage.

Lynn

Bring & Take--Not So Simple!

In writing seminars, people often ask about the words bring and take. Usually it is because their mothers, fathers, or English teachers repeatedly corrected them, and they want to know whether they can finally forget those old nagging corrections.

The reference guides that touch on this question (Chicago Manual of Style, The Gregg Reference Manual, The Right Word) explain this way:

• Use bring to indicate motion toward the speaker. (Please bring me a soda.) 
• Use take to indicate motion away from the speaker. (I will take that dress back to the store.)

Those rules must have satisfied our mothers, fathers, and teachers. But do they always work?  How do they apply in these sentences?

1. I am not sure whether to bring/take an umbrella on the tour. 
   Nothing is coming toward or going away from the speaker. The umbrella would travel with the speaker.
2. I may bring/take a dessert to Emma's party.
   Once again, something travels with the speaker--not toward or away from.
3. What would you like me to bring/take to your party?
   Here something is traveling toward the listener--not the speaker.

Of my reference books, only Fowler's Modern English Usage admits the weakness of the rules above. The revised third edition states:

"There are many circumstances, however, in which this simple distinction does not apply: e.g., if we are going to the zoo, shall we bring/take the camera?"

Thank you, Mr. Fowler, for admitting how the rules can let us down.

Here are my new third and fourth rules on bring and take:

• Use bring when the motion is toward the listener. (I will bring a key lime pie to your party.)
  
• Use bring or take when the motion is with the speaker. (I will bring a change of clothes to work OR I will take a change of clothes to work.)

Many things seem to have been easier in my mother and father's day--including bring and take. By doubling the number of rules, I may have made life more complex, but I like it better this way. What do you think?

Final note: As I was finishing this entry and putting my reference books back on the shelves, I remembered Patricia T. O'Conner, author of Woe Is I and Words Fail Me, both of which I keep on a closed bookshelf. When I checked O'Conner, I found that she too has attempted to clear up the bring and take ambiguity. In Woe Is I, she discusses the idea of bringing or taking a bottle of wine to a dinner party. She concludes:

"Clear? If not, pour yourself a glass, take it easy, and say what sounds most natural. You will probably be right."

I agree. And while you are at it, bring me one too.

Lynn

A Tip on Passive Verbs

In a Better Business Writing class this week, we were talking--as we often do--about the use of passive verbs. (These are sometimes called "passive voice" verbs.) We were discussing a letter to which a contract was attached, and the letter included instructions about completing the contract.

The writer wondered whether she should use passive verbs in her letter. Here is an example of the type of sentence that concerned her:

The contract must be completed by March 20.

Her alternative would be to use an active voice verb:

You must complete the contract by March 20.

Is that too direct? Too pushy? Maybe. It depends on the tone of the entire letter. If the letter is filled with "You musts," some of them should probably be changed to passive verbs.

In her letter, though, she can easily avoid passives when writing about what she or her company must do:

We must receive your contract by March 20.

That sentence is more direct (using we) than the passive alternative:

Your contract must be received by March 20.

Note: Microsoft Office flags passive verbs if you have your grammar and spelling checker set to do so. Read about how to do that here.

Did you notice that I used four passive verbs in this post? (That is in addition to the examples.) Microsoft identified them all.

Remember: Passives do have their place, which I have written about here.

Lynn

Procedures: No Place for Passive Verbs

In a recent Better Business Writing class, an accounts payable professional was working on several procedures she had brought to class to revise. They included these sentences:

Batches should be entered by 10 a.m.
The batch can then be given to the coordinator.
Ensure that all pays are entered in a timely manner.

Each of those sentences has a problem: a passive verb. Passive verbs weaken procedures and make them confusing.

Time out for a definition: A passive verb (also known as a verb in "passive voice") is a construction in which the subject does not perform the action.

Here are her sentences with the passive verbs underlined:

Batches should be entered by 10 a.m.
Batches is the subject, but the batches do not enter themselves. Someone should enter them, but the sentence does not tell who.

The batch can then be given to the coordinator.
Once again, batch, the subject, is not performing the action. Someone can give the batch to the coordinator, but the sentence does not tell who.

Ensure that all pays are entered in a timely manner.
Here the subject is you, as in "You ensure." But in the remainder of the sentence (a clause), pays is the subject. However, the clause does not state who is entering the pays.

As step-by-step instructions, procedures must be clear about who is doing what. That is why procedures are no place for passive verbs. The sentences below use active verbs (also known as verbs in "active voice"). They make it clear who should perform the action. It is you, the reader.

Enter the batches by 10 a.m.
Then give the batch to the coordinator.
Be sure to enter all pays in a timely manner.

Passive verbs have a bad reputation, but not all of it is deserved. They do have their perfect places. Please see my tip, "Know Where Passive Verbs Belong."

Tomorrow watch for a post on how to be sure your Microsoft Office spelling and grammar checker is finding passives for you.   

Lynn

"Timely" or "On Time"?

I recently led a Better Business Writing class for a corporate tax department. It was a highly educated group--people with MBAs, master's degrees in taxation, and other impressive credentials. I am happy to say that they were educated and sophisticated enough to realize that improving their business writing would increase their effectiveness. They were a delight to work with.

One thing about their writing troubled me. They used the word timely as an adverb, like this:

We filed that tax return timely.
The quarterly payments were sent timely.

In my experience as a business writer and reader, I had seen timely used only as an adjective:

You must make timely payments. [meaning "on time"]
That was a timely phone call. [meaning "opportune" or "well timed"]

So when I read the tax department's writing in class, I stumbled over their use of timely. I wanted to change it to "on time" or "promptly." Yet they assured me they were correct--that their use of timely was standard in their field.

Were the members of the tax department correct? Can timely be used as an adverb?

Yes, they were correct. Consulting my American Heritage College Dictionary, I learned that timely is also an adverb meaning "in time" or "opportunely."

Once again, a reference book settled an issue. When you have disagreements about word usage, grammar, and punctuation, don't argue. Don't stew about them. Just check an up-to-date dictionary, style manual, or reference book. For suggestions, visit my website.

Along with a current reference book, use common sense. If neither you nor anyone in your group has heard or seen a particular word used in business writing, don't use it. I mention this caution because my dictionary shows another word that apparently means timely just below the timely entry on the page.

The word? Timeous, an adjective. The adverb form is timeously. Not even a tax department, filled with MBAs and statistical wizards, would use those forms. Of that I am certain. But if you doubt me, do an informal survey.

Timeous anyone?

Lynn

Business Cards & Principals

At this time of year, many people decide to move forward on plans to start their own business. As a first step in making their dream a reality, they design their business card. If you are in that exciting phase, please read this caution:

You are the president, the founder, or the principal--not the principle.

Deleting old email, I just saw that someone had signed up for my e-newsletter and given her title as "principle." She meant "principal." You can read my post on this subject here. However, all you need to remember is this:

Principle (le) means "rule" (le).

Example: Follow these three principles.

For any other meaning, use principal (al).

Principals, I hope you did not need this advice or are reading it before printing your new business cards. But if not, at least you now have your first mistake behind you. Congratulations!

Lynn

Capitalizing Thanksgiving Day

Across the United States, people are celebrating Thanksgiving Day. Inspired by the day and having a moment before I get ready for the festivities of eating, drinking, and enjoying good company, I want to write about capitalizing the word day in holidays.

Around individual holidays celebrated in the U.S., people often wonder about day. Yes, day is capitalized. For example:

• Thanksgiving Day
• Christmas Day
• St. Patrick's Day
• Kamehameha Day
• Columbus Day
• Election Day
• Presidents' Day
• Father's Day
• Veterans Day
• Martin Luther King's Birthday

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Lynn

A Tip on Apostrophes

In all the classes on grammar and punctuation I teach, the punctuation mark that causes the most confusion is the apostrophe. It's the little mark used to show possession:

one employee's house
two employees' cars

I have already written Apostrophe Help Please! and More Apostrophe Help! This post is for those who just KNOW there must be more to it. There is. There is the use of apostrophes to form plurals, like these:

• She is hoping to get three A's.
• I have used too many I's in this letter.
• Are the girls wearing pj's?
• Be sure to dot the i's.
• He regularly emails bcc's to his manager.
• I confused the which's and that's in this proposal.

Typically plurals are formed by adding s or es to a word. But in the very few circumstances when adding s or es might confuse readers, we use the apostrophe and an s.

In the examples above, readers might be confused about As, Is, pjs, is, bccs, whiches, and thats. The apostrophe makes the plural clearer.

In some of my seminars, I provide DO'S and DON'TS. In a recent writing class, someone objected to the word DO'S. In her view, the apostrophe was unnecessary. I had been using the apostrophe in DO'S so readers would not be confused by DOS, the operating system or the Spanish word for "two." However, I have since decided to use DOS whenever I pair it with DON'TS.

Part of today's confusion comes from the past. When I was growing up, apostrophes were used much more commonly to form plurals--in expressions such as VIP's, 1940's, and in the 30's (temperature). But now all those are rendered without the apostrophe, as VIPs, 1940s, and 30s.

In your writing, you will almost never need an apostrophe to form a plural. So don't write something like this: "All the employee's have arrived." It should be simply employees.

Rule: Mind your p's and q's, but use apostrophes for plurals rarely!

Lynn
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Other search spellings: pnctuation, punctuaion, punctuaton, punctiaton, puncation, punctaiton, punctation, posessive, possesive, apostrphe

How to Scare Away Customers

A friend emailed me a follow-up message a sales representative had sent her. I have typed it below. What is your impression of the writer?

thank you for the rapid response I am grateful for the follow up. as far as information, I sending you an up coming schedule of class's we are offering but let me tell you this, I would like to purpose a special offer of 15% off for all your employee's, plus multi enrollment discounts and periodic specials like buy 2 get one free on select class's. thank you for your time should you need more information please let me know. I look forward to doing some business with you.

My friend is very gracious and has responded cordially to the sales rep. However, she told me she would like to have responded this way:

Thank you for your kind though grammatically abysmal offer. If your attention to detail is as poor as your punctuation and spelling, I think we would be taking quite a risk to do business with you. Please take your solicitation to someone who doesn't notice sloppy writing. How did you ever graduate from high school? 

Ouch! It is painful to imagine that any of our readers would be thinking that way about our work--especially potential customers upon whom we rely for future income.

The rep's message contains 17 errors, not counting the absence of paragraph breaks. If you can't find all 17, read this error-free version I have posted in a PDF on my website. Don't rely on your grammar and spelling checker to find the gaffes. My Microsoft software flagged only the lowercase word thank at the beginning of two sentences.

One error is understandable and forgivable. With the high volume of work we produce, we will make an error or two in an occasional message. But 17 mistakes in one email?

Would you do business with the sales rep who sent that message? Please share your view.

Lynn
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Other search spellings: eror, buisness, bizness, wirting, writng

Sixty-Four Thousand Dollar ($64,000) Question

Here is the sixty-four thousand dollar ($64,000) question: Why do we repeat numbers?

I am talking about these redundancies:

within seven (7) days
fourteen dollars and seven cents ($14.07)
a waiting period of sixty (60) days

Answer: Because we have always done it that way!

Despite how we have always done it, there is only ONE situation in which it makes sense to render a number in both words and figures: when writing a check. On a check, we include a spelled out version of the amount to reduce the likelihood that anyone will misread the number or alter it.

We don't need to restate a number in a typed business letter, memo, email, report, or even a contract.

You may be hesitant to stop writing numbers in both figures and words in your contracts. To encourage you to stop, I cite expert Bryan A. Garner, editor of Black's Law Dictionary. In his book Legal Writing in Plain English: A Text With Exercises, Garner (who refers to the redundant numbers as "word-numeral doublets") states:

"There's no good reason why modern briefs, judicial opinions, statutes, or contracts should contain doublets."

He provides this example of what not to do:

"The parties have agreed that for purposes of this Agreement, the current fair market value of the Property is Three Hundred Eighty-Nine Thousand Six Hundred Sixty-Seven and 00/100 dollars ($389.667.00)."

He replaces that bloated sentence with this concise wording:

"For purposes of this Agreement, the current fair market value of the Property is $389.667."

One argument often given for the doubled numbers is that they prevent discrepancies. But Garner refutes that reasoning:

" . . . discrepancies aren't possible unless you write it twice."

Then why do so many people write numbers in words and figures? According to Garner, the use of "doublets" came about centuries ago to prevent number altering. And in the modern age, with the widespread use of carbon paper, numbers written in words were easier to decipher on carbon copies.

I hope you are convinced: These days it is unnecessary and downright silly to render a number two (2) different ways.

NOTE: The $64,000 Question was a television show in the US in the late 1950s. The name was written in figures--never spelled out!

For rules on writing numbers, see this post.

Lynn

Mice? Meese? Mouses?

Maggie wrote to ask about the plural of mouse when the word refers to the electronic object we cup in our right or left hand. As a librarian, she needs to report regularly on the number of mice or mouses she has sent for repair.

According to my American Heritage College Dictionary, both mice and mouses are correct for the plural of the computer mouse. Yet both those plurals don't sound quite natural yet. I have had plenty of time to get used to calling the device a mouse. But to me, mice are still rodents.

I agree with The Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications, which says to avoid both mice and mouses. In fact, my MS Office spelling checker automatically corrects mouses to mousse!  (I am certain Maggie does not want to send mousse for repairs.)

The Microsoft Manual suggests "mouse devices" as a plural. It's not an expression that rolls off the tongue, but it avoids the awkward plural.

If Maggie has other equipment to list, she might try this approach:

Device: Mouse
Number sent for repair: 3.

It makes sense to work around expressions that simply don't sound right to us. In writing classes, people often admit that although they know a certain usage is correct, they avoid it because they are not comfortable using it. Examples:

I have lain in the sun too long.
Whom will you invite?

Yes, the sentences above are correct. But if a usage seems awkward to you, just avoid it:

I have been in the sun too long.
Have you made a guest list?

Some of us avoid mice; some avoid lain and whom. And many of us enjoy mousse.

Lynn

Look Out Below!

Today as I was reading samples of writing for two upcoming classes, I noticed that two people from two different companies had used the word below incorrectly. Based on this experience, I decided to provide the lowdown (the truth) on below.

Here are the problem sentences:

1. The below is a good example of what we discussed on the telephone.
2. I need additional information about your request in the below email.

What is wrong with these sentences? The problem is that the word below should be used as an adverb telling where. But in Sentence 1, below is used as a noun, a thing. In Sentence 2, it is used as an adjective, answering the question which one?

Here are corrected versions of the two sentences.

1. Below is a good example of what we discussed on the telephone.  [Below answers the question where?]
2. I need additional information about your request in the email below. [Below answers the question where?]

Both sentences required just a tiny change so that the word below would play the correct role in the sentence--answering the question where?

Look out--where?--below!

Lynn

Sunk by a Typographical Error

I am glad that Raymond Ward of The (New) Legal Writer wrote about an Office Team survey on typos (typographical errors). The survey showed that typos do affect our job prospects.

When 150 executives were asked, "How many typos in a resume does it take for you to not consider a job candidate for a position with your company?" 47 percent responded "One typo." Two typos were enough to turn away another 37 percent of the executives.

Why would executives place so much emphasis on perfection? My belief is that they assume job applicants are demonstrating their very best work in their job search. Therefore, if the resumes or CVs (curricula vitae) aren't perfect, applicants' work on the job will not be perfect either.

The moral: A resume with errors will be ineffective at least 84 percent of the time. It is worth the effort to be sure it is perfect.

For a perfect example (I hope) of a free cover letter and resume to download, try this link on my website. It will take you to a cover letter and resume, with commentary, that I helped a friend refine. I am happy to say that she succeeded in getting the interview and the job. (Note: I have disguised her name and contact information.)

Lynn

"We" or "I"? Why Not Both?

Sometimes we slavishly follow the rules of writing, when we ought to focus on communicating. We try to never split an infinitive. (I just did!) We're put off by contractions. (Did you notice mine?) And we avoid starting a sentence with a conjunction. (Why?)

Another "rule" people take too far is to avoid using the pronouns I and we in the same message. But why shouldn't we mix them? Here is a perfectly good example that incorporates both:

We are looking forward to working with you on the fair housing project. I will phone you next week to plan our first meeting.

Here is another that works just fine:

I was so pleased to get your message yesterday afternoon. We are delighted that you have accepted the position.

Yesterday I got an email asking whether the head of an organization ought to use we, since the person represents the entire organization. The answer is an emphatic sometimes! At times, the individual will write as himself. At other times, he will be the voice of the organization, as in this example:

We are making every effort to comply with the new standards by January 1.

Even with the example above, a mix of I and we is fine:

We are making every effort to comply with the new standards by January 1. I am personally committed to meeting the deadline.

Follow the rules of business writing to produce clear, compelling documents. But if a sentence sound fine with a but at the beginning, use but. And if you want to use I and we in the same message, do it! Just make sure you communicate with your readers.

Lynn
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Other search spellings: communciate, buisness, bisness, wirting, writng, witing

Can vs. May--Not So Simple!

The correct places to use the words can and may are not as easily determined as we often imagine. I was reminded of the subtleties in my seminar with the Association of Legal Administrators last week, when an attendee questioned two of my uses. (Thanks, Jennifer! I appreciate your commitment to correctness.)

Here are the simple rules:

Can is for ability:
"Can you drive a car with a standard shift?"

May is for permission or possibility: 
"You may borrow my car next week." (Permission)
"I may arrive late." (Possibility)

But using the simple rules above, the choice between can and may may not be obvious in the sentences below. Which word would you choose?

1. Can/May I have food served in the conference room?
2. Yes, you can/may make arrangements with the onsite cafe.
3. Professional guests can/may have their parking tickets validated.
4. Please leave your phone number so that I can/may call you back.
5. Please approve these specifications so we can/may process your order.
6. You can/may review 440 lessons in the archives.

For the sentences above, does the meaning involve ability, possibility, or permission?

I would say each one involves ability. For example:

1. Am I able to have food served in the conference room?
2. Yes, you are able to make arrangements with the onsite cafe.
3. Professional guests are able to have their parking tickets validated.

I do not see the sentences as communicating permission, but another person might view them that way:

1. Am I permitted to have food served in the conference room?
2. Yes, you are permitted to make arrangements with the onsite cafe.
3. Professional guests are permitted to have their parking tickets validated.

My objection to may is that it may (possibility) be misunderstood. Do the sentences below indicate possibility or permission?

Professional guests may have their parking tickets validated.

Repeat visitors may receive a special discount.

I advise this approach:

If you intend "able to," use can.
If you mean "will possibly," use may.
If you intend "permitted to," use may.

I believe this approach will make the choice clear in nearly all instances, but I may be wrong. That is, I will possibly be wrong, and I am permitted to be wrong--sometimes. I certainly know I can be!

Lynn

Hone In or Home In?

I was scrolling through the excellent Grammar Hell site today, when I came upon a bit of information that surprised me. It had to do with the use of "hone in" and "home in."

Let's look at the issue. Which is correct in this sentence, "home in" or "hone in"?

I wish we would hone/home in on the real issues.

According to most references including the confident, outspoken Grammar Hell, the correct expression is "home in" because "to home" means "to move or lead toward a goal." The example above can be interpreted like this:

I wish we could move toward the real issues.

In contrast, hone means "to sharpen," as in "to hone one's skills."

Using the explanations above--found in many printed and online resources--"hone in" would never be correct. We do not say "sharpen in."

But grammar and usage are not as unbending as the rules seem to suggest. What if I want to sharpen my focus on something? Couldn't I hone in on it?

Despite the advice of most books on my bookshelf and many online sources, I would say this:

I wish we would hone in on the real issues.

My meaning is "I wish we would focus on [sharpen our focus on] the real issues."

If you care about these topics, you may be wondering whether any reference books support my view. In fact, The American Heritage College Dictionary, Fourth Edition, 2004, open on my desk now, says this:

hone in. 1. To move or advance toward a target or goal. Often used with on. 2. To direct one's attention; focus.

Merriam-Webster Online says this about "hone in":

Etymology: Alteration of "home in": to move toward or focus attention on an objective.

Merriam-Webster also states that although "hone in" is considered a mistake by commentators, it has established itself in American English--and perhaps in British English as well.

Here is the moral of the story: Language is fluid. It changes and stretches. Just when we think we can home in / hone in on a rock-solid rule, we find the sands of language shifting. You take one route, I'll take another, and let's meet gladly at the end of the sentence.

Lynn

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Alternate search spellings: defenition, grammer, langauge, snetence

Hyphenation Information

Doubts about hyphens drive people nuts. In my business writing classes, people regularly raise anxious questions about hyphen/no hyphen and word open/word closed. I just got an email from a client who had three hyphen questions, so I am inspired to supply some Hyphenation Information. (I capitalized and bolded the phrase purely on whim. Perhaps someone can use it in a hip-hop lyric. And yes, hip-hop is hyphenated.)

Here is the basic thing to know about hyphens: They are used to show the reader that something is connected. If you were writing a newsletter article in a really thin column, you would use hyphens to show that word parts are connected, like this:

I am inspired to supply some Hyphena-
tion Information. I capitalized it and
bolded it based purely on whim. Per-
haps someone can use it in a hip-hop
lyric. . . .

Those hyphens tell the reader, "Don't stop. Connect this part to the next part." That is the same message a hyphen in a compound word communicates, like these:

• a follow-up message (It is not a follow message or an up message; it's a follow-up message. The hyphen tells the reader to connect follow and up.)
• two 4-door sedans (There are not four sedans; they are not door sedans. They are 4-door sedans. The hyphen tells the reader to connect 4 and door.)

Using the same logic, you will see that these are correct:

• nuclear-free zone
• three-story building
• 314-page book
• toll-free number
• well-read clients

Confusion can arise because the expressions are not hyphenated when they come after the word they describe, like these:

• I sent a message to follow up.
• The sedan has four doors.
• This zone is nuclear free.
• The building has three stories.
• The book is 314 pages long.
• The number is toll free.
• The clients are well read.

Another difficulty is that the need for hyphens in particular expressions changes over time. For example, we used to write micro-wave oven, but we now use microwave exclusively. Desk-top publishing was once common, whereas now you will typically see desktop publishing. People used to do post-doctoral studies, but now their studies are postdoctoral. The logic behind these changes is that once an expression becomes commonly understood, the hyphen is no longer needed. The expression can be closed up into one word.

Many people still write e-mail. In fact, all these reference books hyphenate it: Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications, The Associated Press Stylebook (even the just-published edition!), The Chicago Manual of Style, and The Gregg Reference Manual.

Despite all the published experts, I close up the word: email. Since we are all familiar with the term, I see no reason to hyphenate it for our reader's understanding. However, when I write for a client, I use the style my client prefers. (Rule: Write for your client and your reader.)

Here are the questions my client sent me today, with my answers based on research:

1. Which is correct: setup fee? set-up fee? or set up fee?
   Answer: setup fee. Setup has evolved to one word as an adjective (as in her question) and as a noun: "What a great setup!" However, it is two words as a verb: "Please set up the system for me."
2. Which is correct: toll-free numbers? or toll free numbers?
   Answer: toll-free numbers. (No doubt tollfree will soon be accepted.) But "The numbers are toll free." (See explanation above.)
3. Which is correct: follow-up training? or follow up training?
   Answer: follow-up training. (See explanation above.)

As for the hip-hop lyrics, let's see:

Had some consternation 'bout the hyphenation. Got some information, now I'm in formation with the hyphenation. Hear my declaration: I say Punctuation is Power.

Yes, you are right: I had better keep my day job as a business writer.

Lynn
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Other search spellings: hyphentation, hyhenation, hypenation, hiphenation, hyfenation, puntuation, pucnation, puncatuaion, puncatiaon, puncuatiaon, puncation, gramar, grammer

Don't Appraise Your Readers

In a recent Better Business Writing class an attendee wrote a sentence like this one in a letter to a customer:

You may be certain that I will appraise you as soon as I receive the investigator's report. 

But the reader would want to be apprised--not appraised. Be sure to apprise your readers, like this:

• I will keep you apprised of the situation.
• We will apprise you as soon as we hear from the insurance adjustor.
• Mr. Adan wants to be apprised as soon as the shipment arrives.

Apprise means "to inform or notify." Appraise means "to put on a value on."

• Ms. Grossmann will appraise the contents of grandmother's house.
• The appraised value of the property is $200,000.
• Jessica is waiting for a performance appraisal and bonus.

If you like memory devices to keep words pairs clear in your mind, remember the words that appraise and apprise sound like. The words with similar vowel sounds provide definitions:

Appraise = rate, evaluate
Apprise = notify

To communicate clearly with your reader, why not use the simpler word notify instead of apprise?  But continue to use appraise when you mean "to put a value on." Appraise is a precise, useful word that should be part of your reader's vocabulary and your own.

You have now been apprised of the difference between the two words. What is your appraisal of