Business Writing

New Year's Wishes for 2012

People from around the world have been writing to me in search of the correct wording for new year's messages to their English-speaking friends and associates. To help them, I have composed these brief messages as models. I hope you find them helpful.

Note to international readers: If the message says I, it is from one person. If it says we, it is from more than one person or from a business. When you change the subject from I to we (or we to I), the verb stays the same. (Example: "I wish" and "We wish" are both correct.)

Happy 2012! I wish you a new year filled with prosperity, joy, and contentment. [for anyone]

Happy 2012! I wish you a beautiful, magical new year! [for anyone]

On New Year's Day and every day, we wish you joy and fulfillment. Happy new year! [for anyone]

We wish you a new year filled with wonder, peace, and meaning. Happy 2012! [for anyone]

I hope you are blessed with delight, fulfillment, and peace in the new year. [for anyone, has a spiritual feeling]

I wish you a wonderful new year filled with abundance, joy, and treasured moments. May 2012 be your best year yet! [for anyone, especially a professional]

I hope 2012 is a year of great happiness and success for you. Have a wonderful new year! [for anyone, especially a professional]

We are grateful for our work with you in 2011, and we look forward to working together in the new year. Happy 2012! [for a client]

Thank you for being a customer at our ______________. [fill in a word or a phrase such as hair salon, restaurant, gym, health club, or store.] We look forward to serving you in 2012. We wish you peace, happiness, and abundant good health in the new year. [for a customer]

Thank you for staying with us. We wish you a beautiful new year filled with peace and gladness. We look forward to seeing you again in 2012. [for a hotel guest]

Thank you for your business in 2011. It has been a pleasure helping you reach your goals, and we look forward to serving you again in the new year. We wish you a prosperous and wonderful 2012! [for a customer or a client]

We are delighted to have you as a customer, and we look forward to serving you in the new year. Have a terrific 2012! [for a customer]

We wish you great happiness in your new home. Have a wonderful new year! [for someone who has moved]

We wish you abundant success and joy in your new location. Happy 2012! [for a business that has moved]

I am personally grateful to each one of you for your tremendous efforts, and I wish everyone a rewarding, joyous new year. I look forward to working with you in 2012. [to a group of employees and associates]

I appreciate your contribution to our success this year. I wish you peace, joy, and fulfillment in 2012. Happy new year! [for an individual employee or associate]

My examples are generic so that you can use them in a variety of situations. However, the more personalized your message is, the more sincere it will feel.

Happy 2012 to you, dear reader! I hope your new year is filled with joyful learning, abundant opportunity, and pleasure in all you do.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Practical Advice to Reduce Notetaking Stress

We all schedule meetings on our calendars. But people who take notes at meetings need to schedule three events on theirs:

1. Time before the meeting to review the agenda, reports, and presentations that attendees have shared in advance
2. Time to attend the meeting
3. Time to complete a final draft of the notes

When I teach the online class Meeting Notes Made Easy, people are surprised to hear this advice. But they are quick to realize that taking time to prepare for the meeting makes the notetaking task less stressful and more successful. Setting aside time to finish the minutes helps get the job done without scrambling to type and distribute them just before the next meeting. 

I confess that I recently ignored my own practical advice when I took minutes for a group on a Sunday in September. Although I prepared for the meeting, when it ended on a sunny afternoon, I skipped the final writing task and did not add it to my calendar. Now I am pressed to get the notes done before the group meets again and feeling guilty about the delay.

Yes, adding three events to your calendar is a great way to take and complete notes confidently and calmly. I will be sure to follow my advice next time!

If you want to take better meeting notes and minutes, take the upcoming online class Meeting Notes Made Easy on December 14.

Now let me sit down to finish those September minutes.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Note Takers, Don't Work So Hard!

The other day I taught the online class Meeting Notes Made Easy. No wonder most of the people had enrolled in the class: They were working way too hard.

When I reviewed their sample meeting notes, I found huge amounts of detail. The note takers explained new procedures in detail. They described new job openings in detail. They included long lists of comments made during meetings. They produced 5, 10, even 20 pages of notes for meetings only a few hours long!

That is too much detail for normal meeting notes.

Meeting notes should include the answers to questions 1 to 8 and sometimes 9 to 11: 

1. Which meeting was it?
2. What was its purpose?
3. When did it take place?
4. Who attended? (Who did not?)
5. Which topics were discussed?
6. Which important points were made?
7. Which decisions were made?
8. Which actions were agreed upon? Who will complete them? By when?
9. Which topics were tabled for the future?
10. Which materials were distributed? Where are copies available?
11. Is a follow-up meeting scheduled? When? Where? For what purpose?

Notice that this question does not appear on the list: 

What are all the details?

I believe some note takers in the online class were doing the job of other managers, supervisors, and specialists who were announcing information at meetings. The note takers were recording entire announcements and new procedures in the meeting minutes rather than just mentioning them. But the notes should say only something like this:

Brooke Nelson announced a new position in Human Resources: Training & Development Coordinator.

OR

Safety Manager Ralph Howe presented a new inventory procedure for the flammable storage cabinets. The procedure is attached.

Then it is the task of Brooke Nelson and Ralph Howe to inform people in their organizations about the new position and procedure. They can use email announcements, newsletter articles, flyers on bulletin boards, training programs, procedure manuals, web pages, Intranet posts, blog posts, and other ways. But they can't expect the meeting notes to make the announcements to everyone for them, can they?

Note takers, don't work so hard! Capture what happened at the meeting. But don't record all the details--that is not your job.

Do you agree? 

Note: The next online Meeting Notes Made Easy class takes place on September 13. Enroll before June 1, when the price will increase. Learn about other upcoming classes I will teach.

Lynn
Syntax Training

A Case Study on How to Sell in Email

In our business writing courses, people often ask how to write persuasive sales messages, and the topic is popular among the emailed questions I receive. In response to the interest, the current issue of our free e-newsletter, Better Writing at Work, includes a case study analyzing a sales email that arrived in my inbox.

The message appears below with its identifying details changed. Do you think it is persuasive? Why or why not?
__________________

Subject: Diversify - 3 Ways

Dear Lynn,

My name is Suzie Barr and I am a colleague of David Gross. During the past year I have been in charge of the development of our Diversify series of financial learning games. We have spent countless hours with our authors, developers and financial experts, updating and expanding the range of games, as well as working with our technical partners, the Mag Group, making the games available online and as mobile phone apps in addition to our popular classroom and training room game format.

We would be delighted if you would have a look at the results summarized at [link].Please feel free to address any questions, ideas, suggestions to me. I hope that you will find these tools beneficial to your work.

Yours sincerely,

Suzie Barr
Diversify [link]
Telephone Number
___________________

Does the email sell well?

For my analysis of the message, read the current Better Writing at Work. Subscribe here.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Some Dos About Don'ts

I like the don'ts included on a package of gel "window clings," that is, window decorations, I have had on my office window during the holidays. The don'ts below are taken directly from the GelGems window clings package:

• Don't give GelGems to children under 4 -- they're a choking hazard.
• Don't expose GelGems to temperatures above 120°F -- they'll get gooey.
• Don't stick GelGems on drywall, or other porous surfaces -- they will leave oily marks. Test your surface!
• Don't eat GelGems -- they're not toxic, but they don't taste good.
• Don't let your GelGems touch each other -- they will bleed color onto each other.

The GelGems writer did a fine job of following a few dos about don'ts:

• Do start each don't with the word don't. Without that word, the don'ts will appear to be dos.
• Do use simple language such as "Don't eat GelGems." Complex language will get in the way of the message. 
• Do briefly state the reason for the don't. "They're a choking hazard" and "they'll get gooey" are simple yet sufficient.
• Do limit the number of don'ts. Seven to nine don'ts is a good maximum number.

It's time for me to remove my holiday decorations and get back to work. I will be sure to follow the excellent GelGems don'ts--no eating the decorations or letting them touch!

Do enjoy the start of the new year. I wish you a wonderful 2011.

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

 

 

Newsletter Content Readers Can't Resist

If you want people to read your online or printed newsletter rather than deleting or discarding it, give them irresistible content. The current issue of Better Writing at Work, our free monthly e-newsletter, covers 13 types of content your audience will read and value:

1. News they can use
2. Practical tips and techniques
3. Checklists
4. Answers to frequently asked questions (FAQs)
5. Ask the Expert columns
6. Interviews with important people
7. Tests and quizzes
8. How-tos and best practices
9. Product reviews
10. Features about people of interest to them
11. Lists of upcoming events
12. Opportunities to take action
13. Contact information--to reach you!

What do you value most from the newsletters you read? What drives you nuts in newsletters? Please share your preferences.

If you would like to read the full article "Newsletter Content Your Readers Can't Resist," along with three important don'ts for newsletter articles, subscribe to Better Writing at Work. Join our nearly 11,000 newsletter subscribers.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Tips on Preparing a Toast

In companies around the world, a season of festivities is about to begin. A calendar of special professional dinners and holiday parties will take place from now through the beginning of January.

Many of those events will involve a toast. This is a time when people raise their drink glasses (with or without alcohol) to acknowledge a special occasion or to honor people and their accomplishments.

If you will be the person who gives that toast, be prepared. Think about what you may want to say, and consider writing down your ideas. That way, you can glance at your notes before you speak. You will not be tongue-tied at a moment when all eyes and ears are on you.

Consider these suggestions:

• Keep the toast short. Speak for no longer than a minute or so unless the occasion is formal and you are giving the only toast. In that case, you can speak for several minutes. If dinner is awaiting people on plates in front of them, show mercy and speak briefly.
• If you are the host or sponsor, mention what an honor or delight it is to host the distinguished [talented, fun-loving, successful, brilliant, supportive] group surrounding you.
• If you are not the host or sponsor, thank that person, commenting specifically on some aspect such as the bountiful table, beautiful setting, or feeling of welcome the host shared.
• Use a phrase that brings people into the toast, something like "This is the moment when we honor the team's successes in 2010. . . " or "Please join me in raising your glass in celebration of our . . . "
• Use humor if you can, but avoid sarcasm. A toast is a feel-good message. It should not bite anyone. 
• Avoid references to people and events that some guests, such as spouses, will not recognize. Identify people with phrases such as "our chairman, David Blake" and "our biggest client, XYZ Company."
• If several toasts are being given, feel free to speak only a sentence such as, "To Margery, who catches every error before our customers get a chance to" or "To our designers, people who listen to all our problems--and solve them!"
• Feel free to use or build on other toasts or famous quotations, like this: "Henry David Thoreau said that it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. I am proud to acknowledge that we acted wisely this year, even in the face of tremendous challenges." Search the Internet or a book of quotations for suitable lines to build on.
• Don't toast yourself. That is, don't focus on yourself. A toast is to celebrate others.

Do you have suggestions or horror stories that will help others toast confidently and professionally at business events? Please share them.

Note: Although toasts may not fall firmly under the topic "business writing," they are business messages at company events. That is why I wrote about them here.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Giving Thanks to Customers, Employees, and Others

In the United States, Thanksgiving Day takes place on Thursday, November 25. If you have U.S. customers, clients, employees, colleagues, donors, members, consultants, or friends, Thanksgiving is a good time to remember them. The national holiday is celebrated by nearly all Americans.

Why not thank your business associates with a card, small gift, or a nicely worded email? The purpose of the thank-you gesture is to show appreciation for the people who help you succeed or make your work life enjoyable. 

Whatever type of greeting you choose to send, plan for it to arrive by Monday, November 22, or Tuesday, November 23, at the latest. The reason is that people often take the day before Thanksgiving off work, and few people work on Thanksgiving Day. Except for grocery stores and pharmacies, businesses are generally closed. 

Here are sample thank-you messages to use as templates. Use these examples to communicate your thanks by note, card, or email. 

1. Generic thank-you to customers:

Dear Julie and David,

Thank you for being our valued customers. We are grateful for the pleasure of serving you and meeting your accounting needs. [or catering needs, printing needs, shipping needs, etc.]

We wish you a lovely Thanksgiving and a joyous holiday season.

With many thanks,

2. Generic thank-you to customers:

Dear Friends at Acme,

In this time of gratitude, we give thanks for you. We value your patronage and appreciate your confidence in us. Counting you among our customers is something for which we are especially grateful.

On behalf of all of us at XYZ Company, I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.

Sincerely,

3. Generic thank-you to restaurant customers:

Our restaurant will be closed on Thanksgiving Day, as we give thanks for all of the blessings in our lives. Among those blessings are our customers.

We thank you for dining with us and allowing us to prepare memorable meals for your special occasions.

Happy Thanksgiving! We hope to see you again soon.

4. Generic thank-you to tenants:

Dear ___________,

We are very grateful to have you as tenants in our building. We appreciate your loyalty to us in this time of real-estate flux, and we are grateful for your flexibility and patience during the lobby renovations. We hope you enjoy the beautiful new lobby as much as we do.

Please let us know anytime we can improve our service to you.

We wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.

With our sincere thanks,

___________ [person's name]
___________ [property management company name]

5. Sample thank-you to a client, coach, or mentor:

Dear Dick,

In this time of Thanksgiving, I want to express my appreciation for you. Working with you over the past two years has been an amazing opportunity for me. I appreciate your high standards, persistence, and fine sense of humor.

Thank you, Dick, for the pleasure of working with you. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with good feelings.

Warm wishes,

6. Sample thank-you to accompany a gift:

Dear Mr. Emmanuel,

When we think about the things we appreciate, we think of you and our work with you on the Maple Heights project. The project was a challenge and a phenomenal success for us--thanks to your vision and commitment. We will always treasure that experience.

We saw the enclosed new book on landscaping by ____ [author], and we immediately thought of you. Please enjoy it with our thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving!

7. Sample thank-you to employees, accompanying a gift:

This year has been challenging for us, but we turned challenges into successes--thanks to you and your fellow employees. You have focused on the future rather than getting stuck in day-to-day difficulties. You have worked hard to help our business thrive.

On behalf of the management team, I thank you for your accomplishments this year. We are all grateful. 

Please enjoy the enclosed gift certificate as a token of our thanks.  

Happy Thanksgiving!   

8. Sample thank-you to employees:

Dear ______________ [name],

During this month of Thanksgiving, I have been reflecting on the things I am most grateful for. Primary among them is our talented group of employees.

Thank you for the work you do to make our agency great. You help us provide award-winning services to our clients. Without your commitment, creativity, and high standards, we would not be the thriving company we are. I am very grateful for your efforts.  

I wish you a Thanksgiving filled with abundance and bright moments.

Warm wishes,

______________ [name of senior executive or manager]

9. Sample brief thank-you to employees:

Thank you for everything you do to make this a successful, terrific place to work. Have a wonderful, long weekend filled with good things!

Happy Thanksgiving!

10. Sample brief thank-you to employees:

You and your coworkers have worked hard this year, and your dedication has paid off. Every quarter our financials look better and better. Thank you for your hard work and positive attitude. 

Have a joyful, abundant Thanksgiving!

If you do not have time to communicate by Thanksgiving, you can always save your greetings until December. This blog post will help you: Holiday Greetings Made Easy.

Enjoy giving thanks!

Lynn
Syntax Training

Essentials of Emails That Sell

I am working on business writing skills with a team that writes emails to sell their company's product. Here are the 12 essentials for sales emails I created for them. Would you add any essentials to this list?

1. Grab the client in the subject line and opening sentence. Create a reason to open the email and read it.
2. Focus on just one purpose in each message. Don't make the client (or you as the writer) go in different directions.
3. Focus on you--not on I, we, or your company. Clients focus on themselves--so should you.
4. Describe benefits to your client--not features or deliverables. Excite your client with possibilities.
5. Write to this client--not any client or clients. Use his or her name, and be specific in your offer.
6. Provide value in each sales communication--don't just check in or follow up.
7. Ask for action. Give the client a clear step to take. If there is nothing to do, your client will delete and forget the message.
8. Show the benefits of taking action. What's in it for the client to renew, buy now, or schedule a meeting with you?
9. Communicate positively. For example, don't change the client's program--upgrade or enhance it.
10. Be concise. Use short, powerful sentences that don't string readers along.
11. Format for easy access to content. Help your clients find information fast.
12. Be professional. Follow the rules of business writing.

The list is concise and focused on getting results--just like effective sales emails.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Writing to Your Unemployed Friends and Acquaintances

I have written a lot about writing condolences to people who have experienced a serious loss--deaths in the family and environmental tragedies. 

But recently I caught part of a KUOW radio program The Conversation, which focused on Unemployment Etiquette. I realized that messages to those who have lost a job can be just as sensitive and awkward as those to peope who have experienced a death. Losing a job can be the death of an identity, financial stability, and a predictable future. And we are writing to the person who has died.

So what should we say to those who have lost a job? Here are a few don'ts:

1. Don't ask about their job search. When they have news, they will let you know.
2. Don't talk about how bad things are where you work, especially if they lost their job there. Working in hell may be preferable to not working at all. Don't complain.
3. Don't give advice unless asked for it. Offer your services as a proofreader or sounding board, and then be patient.
4. Don't criticize. Even if you know your coworker would not have lost her job if she hadn't insisted on arguing with the new boss, keep quiet. What's done is done. Besides, you can't be certain. 
5. Don't invite your unemployed friend to meet for lunch or dinner or to join you for an expensive drink or social activity--unless you can treat without either person's discomfort. 
6. Don't express judgments about how your friend is handling the loss. Unless you are walking in the same heavy shoes, you can't know how it feels. And even if you have experienced such a loss, recognize that all of us respond differently when our job and professional identify are ripped away.
7. Don't stop communicating. Your friend or former colleague is not dead--just unemployed.

  
Follow these brief dos:

1. Show you care. Communicate with the person without any motive.
2. Ask how they are feeling and what they have been doing.
3. Offer to help.
4. Invite the individual to low-cost and no-cost events. Warmly receive both acceptance and rejection of your invitations.

Try a message like one of these by email, social media channels (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.), or a handwritten note or card: 

Hi, Jacob. I miss your smiling face at work. You were the person who brightened my day with a quick analysis of Lost or a detailed analysis of the budget. It's not the same without you.

I hope everything is going as well as can be expected. If there is any way I can help you take next steps, let me know.

Keep me posted!

Hi, Isabella,

Hello from all of us in financial accounting! We are getting together next Friday night at Daniel's apartment to watch the fireworks from his rooftop, and we want you to join us. Do it! We promise not to talk shop (too much) or ask you annoying questions. The gathering starts at 9.

Give me a call if you would like to ride with me. I would love to catch up with you. 

Dear Cullen,

I just wanted to write to say hello and let you know I am thinking of you. You left ABC while I was on vacation, and it was distressing and sad to return and learn you were gone. I miss working with you.

If you would like to attend my monthly HR networking meeting, just let me know. I would like to have you come as my guest. We meet the second Tuesday of the month.

Please call or email me. I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Hi, Renu! What's happening? Text me when you are going to be in the city so we can take you to lunch.

Stay sane!

Dear Emma,

Please accept my condolences--if that is the right word--on your job being cut. We knew the axe was going to fall on some of us, and I am very sorry yours was among the jobs eliminated.

Whatever your feelings about leaving ABC, I hope you recognize you are a star. You always did whatever it took to get the job done well, and you shared credit for the success with your team. Wherever your next opportunity takes you, your employer will be fortunate.

If I can provide a reference or help you in some way, just ask.

I want to stay in touch, and I'll check in with you next month.

Hi, Gregor. I have been thinking about you since you left ABC last month. I imagine your leaving was quite the surprise--I know it shocked all of us. You are the most passionate, expert environmental engineer on the planet. We were all stunned and saddened when we heard you were among the people let go. You are missed!

I imagine that looking for a job in this economy isn't easy, even for someone as talented as you. Please let me know if I can do anything to help. I am good at interview practice and negotiating offers, so please think of me for those tasks in particular. 

Once a month I come to your part of the city for a staff meeting. I will call you before next month's meeting to see if we can meet for coffee.

 

Claudia, how are you? I want you to know I am thinking of you as you deal with unemployment. I know your situation is not what you were expecting, and the financial impact must be severe. 

I am still walking at lunch if you would like to join me. I promise to be a good listener if you want to vent or cry.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Write. Call. Care. Express your good wishes. Offer help. Deliver on your offers. Those are ways to communicate with people who have lost jobs.

What would you add? Please share your wisdom.

Lynn
Syntax Training