Business Writing

Get Them to Turn in Their Paperwork

In my business writing seminars, people frequently complain that they cannot get others to act. They would like others to turn in paperwork, complete surveys, respond with their lunch order off the catering menu, and take similar actions. These actions will make life easier for the people in my writing classes. I empathize with their frustration, but together we are often stumped about a reliable way to get the responses we need.

Last week I attended the Japan-Seattle Suzuki International Institute (a music camp for children and their parents), and I saw a good idea in action at the end of the camp. All attendees who turned in their evaluation of the camp, with their name on it, were eligible for a drawing (raffle) right there on the spot.

I have seen the drawing used as a way to collect business cards. People often hesitate to enter the drawing because they don't want to get follow-up sales calls. And I have seen the online enticement of the "First 100 people to . . . will be entered in a raffle. . . ." It makes me wonder: How do I know whether I am one of the first 100 and whether my name is actually being entered in the raffle?

But at the end of music camp, everyone gladly completed the evaluation--and signed it. And because they signed it, they were probably more likely to comment thoughtfully.

Suggestion: If you need to gather people's paperwork, perhaps at the end of a meeting or conference, why not have an instant drawing? You could offer prizes that relate to the theme of the event. At Suzuki camp, for example, we were lured by such prizes as CDs of resident artists and calligraphy by Dr. Shinichi Suzuki, who died in 1998 at the age of 100.

I am going to try this inspired approach the next time I need to reel in paperwork from reluctant colleagues. I believe it will work much better than nagging or a threat. What do you think?

Lynn

Proofreading Tips

If I said I never send out documents with errors, I would be lying. Just today I realized that the notebooks for two classes I taught recently had an error in one of the page titles. What should have said "Use Active Verbs Primarily" said "Use Passive Verbs Primarily"! (If you were in a class with me at the University of Washington or Russell Investment Group and you see that incorrect title on a page, please change it!)

Have you had errors get past you? If you have, you know it is not that we don't care about quality. Sometimes we care too much. The reason I occasionally have an error in a notebook is that I constantly customize. I change exercises, examples, and pages so that my classes are tailored to the audience. That takes time and invites errors. After all, when I have seen an exercise a hundred times and make a change in it, it is difficult to look at the page with fresh eyes. What used to say "Make Passive Verbs Active" became "Use Passive Active Verbs Primarily" to improve the logic of the exercise.

Other causes of errors are speed and productivity. If you are like us, you work fast and produce a lot. Unless you have a team of proofreaders to review your documents before you print or press Send, errors will slip through.

Given that rationale, here are a few proofreading suggestions to help you all of us:

1. Proofread out loud, even if it's just a whisper. Reading aloud requires more focus than silent reading, and it helps catch words like it for if. Note: You must read what is actually on the page or screen--not what you think ought to be there.
2. Read from a printed page rather than a screen, whenever it is practical. With a printed sheet, it is easier to move your finger over the words as you say them and to use a ruler or straight edge as a guide.
3. For a long document, check each element of content separately. For example, proofread separately  for headings, footers, page numbers, formatting consistency, etc.
4. Check the spelling of proper names at least once. If you are not sure of the spelling of a person's name, find out.
5. Let time pass between the writing, editing, and proofreading stages whenever it is possible. With the passage of time, your content will be fresher to you.

Do you have proofreading guidelines to share? Please add a comment below. And if you do your best work and an error still sneaks through, forgive yourself and try to take it lightly. Maybe the reader won't even notice. After all, for more than a year, our website mentioned clients in the pubic sector rather than the public sector. (Read about it here, along with a solution.) And we are still happily in business!

Lynn

One Way to Spot Spam

Everyone I know is getting hit hard by spam. If you are a small business person without an IT department to help you deflect spam, here is a tip that may help you--if you use Microsoft Outlook.

If you use Outlook and you are unsure whether an email is spam, you can use Options to learn more about the message without opening it. Here are the steps:

1. Left click once on the message. Clicking just once will not open it; it will highlight it.
2. Right click.
3. On the menu, click Options.

The Options screen will show you the Internet headers. You will find this information:

• The return path--that is, the email address of the person to whom you would reply. If this differs from who is shown as the sender, that is a sign of spam. For example, if the sender is shown in your normal email view as Sandy Smith, but the return path is xissys@someaddress.com, that is suspicious.
• Delivered to. You received the mail, but "Delivered to" tells you whether it was actually sent to you. For example, if I receive a message intended for akjhlajd (gibberish) rather than Lynn or Michael, it is spam.

The Internet headers will provide a lot of other information, for example, whether the message includes the word lottery or the phrases "credit consolidation" and "million dollars."

I curse the spammer every time I open what looks like a legitimate message but is actually a sneak attack about a sexual enhancement drug or mortgage refinancing. Just think what a wonderful world we might have if spammers gave up their malicious tasks and actually did meaningful work.

If you have ideas to help us avoid opening sneaky spam that gets through our filters, please share them. And read my Silly Spam Story.

Note: If you ever receive something from our company, Syntax Training, it will come from lynng or michaelj (plus our company name and .com)--not from ejlsuzlpz or any other weird collection of letters.

Lynn

Weekly Reports for Breakfast

In a business writing class last week, participants described worrying that their weekly reports would bore their clients. They wanted to find ways to dress up the data. They feared that reading the same thing week after week would put their readers to sleep.

Let's compare a weekly report with a weekly restaurant breakfast. Many people walk into their favorite cafe, maybe on Saturday morning, and order the same thing week after week. Maybe it is scrambled eggs, hash brown potatoes, and toast. Or the choice might be blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup. Or oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar. They always get the same breakfast, the one they love to eat in this particular restaurant. If the eggs were accompanied by stewed tomatoes rather than hash browns, or if the oatmeal were to come with sliced apple rather than raisins, the customer might be perturbed or upset. He or she might wonder Why can't I have my breakfast the way I usually do? That is the way I like it!

Before dressing up any type of writing, ask yourself what your readers need. Do readers actually need new ways of looking at data? Do they want additional information? Are they bored reading the statistics that apply to their projects, programs, and sales? Or are they perfectly satisfied getting the same information in a consistent format?

Survey or talk with your customer-readers to get their opinions. If they like your report the way it is, leave it that way. Oatmeal week after week might seem boring to you as a breakfast, but if your reader is happy, relax and be happy too.

If you have an idea for a change in your reports, something you think will make them more valuable to your customers, you can always try it and ask readers for their views. In restaurants, they call this the "chef's special," but the chef normally offers the usual fare as well.

All this talk about breakfast food has made me hungry for mine. I'm off for a steaming bowl of oatmeal--a weekly favorite.

Lynn

A Tip on Apostrophes

In all the classes on grammar and punctuation I teach, the punctuation mark that causes the most confusion is the apostrophe. It's the little mark used to show possession:

one employee's house
two employees' cars

I have already written Apostrophe Help Please! and More Apostrophe Help! This post is for those who just KNOW there must be more to it. There is. There is the use of apostrophes to form plurals, like these:

• She is hoping to get three A's.
• I have used too many I's in this letter.
• Are the girls wearing pj's?
• Be sure to dot the i's.
• He regularly emails bcc's to his manager.
• I confused the which's and that's in this proposal.

Typically plurals are formed by adding s or es to a word. But in the very few circumstances when adding s or es might confuse readers, we use the apostrophe and an s.

In the examples above, readers might be confused about As, Is, pjs, is, bccs, whiches, and thats. The apostrophe makes the plural clearer.

In some of my seminars, I provide DO'S and DON'TS. In a recent writing class, someone objected to the word DO'S. In her view, the apostrophe was unnecessary. I had been using the apostrophe in DO'S so readers would not be confused by DOS, the operating system or the Spanish word for "two." However, I have since decided to use DOS whenever I pair it with DON'TS.

Part of today's confusion comes from the past. When I was growing up, apostrophes were used much more commonly to form plurals--in expressions such as VIP's, 1940's, and in the 30's (temperature). But now all those are rendered without the apostrophe, as VIPs, 1940s, and 30s.

In your writing, you will almost never need an apostrophe to form a plural. So don't write something like this: "All the employee's have arrived." It should be simply employees.

Rule: Mind your p's and q's, but use apostrophes for plurals rarely!

Lynn
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Other search spellings: pnctuation, punctuaion, punctuaton, punctiaton, puncation, punctaiton, punctation, posessive, possesive, apostrphe

Look Out Below!

Today as I was reading samples of writing for two upcoming classes, I noticed that two people from two different companies had used the word below incorrectly. Based on this experience, I decided to provide the lowdown (the truth) on below.

Here are the problem sentences:

1. The below is a good example of what we discussed on the telephone.
2. I need additional information about your request in the below email.

What is wrong with these sentences? The problem is that the word below should be used as an adverb telling where. But in Sentence 1, below is used as a noun, a thing. In Sentence 2, it is used as an adjective, answering the question which one?

Here are corrected versions of the two sentences.

1. Below is a good example of what we discussed on the telephone.  [Below answers the question where?]
2. I need additional information about your request in the email below. [Below answers the question where?]

Both sentences required just a tiny change so that the word below would play the correct role in the sentence--answering the question where?

Look out--where?--below!

Lynn

Proofreading Perfection

Do you get frustrated when, despite your best proofreading efforts, an error slips by? It happens to everyone, including me.

In yesterday's E-Tips ezine from Upwrite Press, I found an excellent description of the investment one company makes to ensure that its documents are free of errors. In the ezine, Brenda Stefanowski, executive assistant of Weekenders USA, Inc., provided a list of eight departments and people who review a new form or communication after it is created but before it is used:

1. The department requesting the form
2. The accounting department, which tracks the costs, sales, tax, and shipping numbers
3. The customer service department, which interprets and answers questions
4. The IT department, which creates the SKU [stock number, "Stock Keeping Unit"] and sets the product up in the ordering/tracking system
5. The distribution department, which manages inventory and ships the product
6. The sales department, which promotes the product
7. A trained proofreader
8. Someone not directly involved with the project, who confirms the clarity of the message

Weekenders makes this investment because the company communicates with an outside sales force of over 10,000. But Stefanowski noted that "even with these measures in place, perfection is still a destination not yet reached."

If errors can go unnoticed in a company that has at least eight sets of eyes reviewing a document, who are you and I to expect perfection?

Lynn

Abbreviating Big Numbers

Question: Which of these abbreviations are correct?

$25 m   $25m   $25M   $25mm   $25mil

Answer: None of them if the reader does not understand them.

Last week I heard from David, a proofreader in international banking, who wrote about standard abbreviations for millions and billions. In an industry in which a typographical error can have big consequences, he has a reason to be concerned.

My research led me to the answer above. No abbreviations are correct unless the reader recognizes them and agrees with the writer about what they mean. Here is the rule in short:

When there is room for doubt, spell it out.

Checking my usual main resources--Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications, The Associated Press Stylebook, The Chicago Manual of Style, and The Gregg Reference Manual--I found that none of them recommends any abbreviations for thousand, million, or billion. Apparently, there is simply too little agreement on their meaning. The Gregg Reference Manual points out this problem, for example:

• In Roman style, 48M means 48,000; in metric style, 48M means 48,000,000.

I wish my bank would interpret my $48,000 as $48,000,000, but I don't think it is going to happen. Therefore, I will continue to teach business writing. Please visit my website and contact me about teaching a class for you.

Lynn
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Other search spellings: milion, bilion, abbreviaton, abbrevation, abbeviation, abreviation

AP Stylebook 2006

The Associated Press has just published a new edition of its style manual. Like the 2004 edition, it is called Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law. But this one is spiral bound, with the year 2006  on its cover. It sells for $13.75 plus shipping.

If your 2004 edition is in good condition and you are on a book budget, you probably don't need this new volume. I will tell you about the new entries of interest to business writers.

These new entries are simple listings to show how to render the word or phrase:

--air bag (two words)
--census (lowercase unless referring to the U.S. Census Bureau)
--Central Asia (defined as including Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan)
--driver's license
--home schooling, home-schooled, home-schooler
--hot spot (two words)
--inbox (one word)
--K-9 (a simple listing--no explanation)
--mecca (lowercase for uses other than the actual city)
--Myanmar (name of the country, language, and inhabitants; you can also use "Myanmar people")
--retarded ("mentally retarded" is preferred)
--Rhodes scholar (lowercase the words scholar and scholarship)
--sergeant-at-arms (a simple listing--no explanation)
--SEAL, SEALs (for the U.S. Navy special operations force)
--Shiite, Shiites (spelling for the branch of Islam)
--Taser (trademark for electronic device or stun gun)
--20-something (a simple listing)
--USA (no periods)
--Yahoo (trademark)

Among the updated company listings are these, which come with brief details of their histories: AT&T, Chevron Corporation, Royal Dutch Shell PLC, Shell Oil Company, and US Airways.

Here are other updates:

• disc, disk. This entry is updated but not different. Disk is used only for computer-related references, such as hard disk, and medical conditions. Other uses are disc.
• earthquake. This listing adds two recent earthquakes: in the Indian Ocean on December 26, 2004, and in South Asia, on October 8, 2005. It also gives the URL for the best source of earthquake information.
• gay. This word is now preferred over homosexual except in clinical contexts and references to sexual activity.
• Hawaiians. Use this term for members of the indigenous ethnic group; for people who live in Hawaii use "Hawaii resident" or "islander."
• transgender, transexual. AP recommends using the gender pronoun (he/she) preferred by the individual. If the preference is not known, use the pronoun that fits the way the individual lives publicly.

There are also updates in the sports section and the sections on media law and filing stories, but those are probably not of interest to business writers. I know I never consult them.

Finally, these entries have been removed from the new edition: blog, COBOL, FORTRAN, sex changes, Venator Group, and Woolworth's.  Also, the Metric Conversion Chart is gone. It's no surprise that we no longer need to know how to render COBOL and Woolworth's (I drank cokes at the soda fountain there as a girl), but I wonder about leaving out the conversion chart. I guess we don't need to worry, since AP provides a link for a megaconverter in the new volume.

Those are the differences. You decide if the spiral binding and bright new cover are worth $13.75.

Lynn

Don't Appraise Your Readers

In a recent Better Business Writing class an attendee wrote a sentence like this one in a letter to a customer:

You may be certain that I will appraise you as soon as I receive the investigator's report. 

But the reader would want to be apprised--not appraised. Be sure to apprise your readers, like this:

• I will keep you apprised of the situation.
• We will apprise you as soon as we hear from the insurance adjustor.
• Mr. Adan wants to be apprised as soon as the shipment arrives.

Apprise means "to inform or notify." Appraise means "to put on a value on."

• Ms. Grossmann will appraise the contents of grandmother's house.
• The appraised value of the property is $200,000.
• Jessica is waiting for a performance appraisal and bonus.

If you like memory devices to keep words pairs clear in your mind, remember the words that appraise and apprise sound like. The words with similar vowel sounds provide definitions:

Appraise = rate, evaluate
Apprise = notify

To communicate clearly with your reader, why not use the simpler word notify instead of apprise?  But continue to use appraise when you mean "to put a value on." Appraise is a precise, useful word that should be part of your reader's vocabulary and your own.

You have now been apprised of the difference between the two words. What is your appraisal of the value of this information?

Lynn
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Other search spellings: apraisal, aprise, apprize, defenition