I am working on my presentation "Business Writing for Claims Professionals" for the PLRB/LIRB Claims Conference next month in Seattle. (PLRB=Property Loss Research Bureau; LIRB=Liability Insurance Research Bureau.)
Among my examples of insurance writing is this letter sent to a friend of mine who was injured in a serious automobile accident:
Dear Mr. xxxx xxxxx:
I hope this letter finds you well.
I would appreciate an update on your injuries and ask that you contact the undersigned.
Please contact me so that we can discuss this further. I can be reached weekdays between 9:00AM - 1:00PM at the above telephone numbers.
Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon.
"The undersigned" is an example of what drives people nuts about insurance writing. It is distant and unnecessarily complicated. After all, who is the undersigned? Me.
I recommend banishing "the undersigned" from your vocabulary unless your goal is indeed to be distant and complicated. That is never my goal.
Here's a better version of the letter:
Dear xxxx xxxxx:
I hope you are feeling well. I would appreciate an update on your injuries. . . . [Tell why.]
Would you please call me at ______ [Give phone numbers]? I am available weekdays between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m.
I look forward to talking with you.
Do you have good or bad examples of writing that involves insurance claims? If so, please email them to the undersigned–me! You and I can help the insurance industry communicate more effectively. Feel free to remove any identifying information, or I will do so.