Business Writing

Talk, tips, and best picks for writers on the job.

Syntax Training | Lynn Gaertner-Johnston

Share this page

« When Plain Speech Becomes Sloppy Writing | Main | A.M., P.M., a.m., p.m.: What Is the Correct Time? »

May 29, 2009


Sarah Johnstone

Dear Lynn,
It certainly isn't a good advertisement of his skills as a business communications expert! I think it was very kind of you to reply at all.

Becky Couch


I just received the following email and after reading your post, I thought is was appropriate to share with you. It is poorly written and doesn't get to the point in the beginning.

At ABC Company, we are always looking to do a better job of staying connected to and serving our customers. And, as important issues arise or we have information that can benefit our customers, we want you to know about it. That’s why you have received this message via e-mail. We will work hard to continue delivering you these updates.
Today, more and more families are concerned about keeping up with expenses in a difficult economy. So ABC Company gives customers the power to manage their energy bills with a wider range of payment options, including: (then they went on to list payment options)


Sarah, I agree! His expertise seems to have been on vacation that day.


Becky, thank you for sharing an excellent example of not getting to the point. I bet that most readers deleted the message without knowing what it was about.


yes right information you posted. i want to share information on Undisclosed recipients on which i used yahoo mail for sending mails to recipient.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Share this page
© 2005-present - Syntax Training - All Rights Reserved