In the Writing Tune-Up workshop in McLean, Virginia, last week, I asked participants about their pet peeves, the things that drive them crazy in the writing they read at work. A common email pet peeve came up.
Does this scenario sound familiar?
*****************
Employee writes this to supervisor:
Subject: Renting an Offsite Retreat Space
As we discussed, I researched the cost of renting a space offsite for our fourth-quarter retreat. Based on the costs and services, I recommend we consider two venues: South Sound Retreat Center and McMillan House. I would appreciate your view.
The benefits of the South Sound Retreat Center are . . . . [Two sentences of benefits appear here.]
The benefits of McMillan House are . . . . [Two sentences of benefits appear here.]
The costs are similar: [Three sentences about cost details appear here.]
Both spaces are suitable for a professional audience and are available on our preferred dates.
Because the Retreat Center is closer for most people in our group, I am leaning toward that space. However, I would like to know whether you have a preference. Do you have any experience with either?
Let me know if you have a preference, and I will follow up to secure a space.
Supervisor replies:
Subject: Re: Renting an Offsite Retreat Space
Makes sense to me.
*************************
When the employee reads the reply above, he or she is peeved. Why?
If you've ever received a message like that, you know why. You spent an hour doing research. You spent 20 minutes writing a well-organized email. You asked for input. You got a burp in reply.
Here's the way business writing class participants describe the pet peeve: After you put a lot of work into a message, you get two words in response, and those two words may not even make sense.
If you are guilty of such stingy replies, here is what you can do:
1. Read or scan the entire message before you reply. Notice what the writer has asked of you.
2. Give the writer what he or she needs. If your response is a simple agreement, say it nicely, like this:
**********************
Subject: Re: Renting an Offsite Retreat Space
Your idea of going with the Retreat Center makes sense to me. I do not have experience with either location.
Thanks for all your work on the research. Let me know if you need anything more from me.
************************
Yes, the second message may take another 60 seconds to consider and type. However, that investment is a lot smaller than the time it may take to relight a spark in a demoralized employee.
What do you think about stingy email? Please share your view.
Lynn
Syntax Training