I was on a United Airlines flight from Seattle to San Francisco this week, when a flight attendant said something I had never heard before.
Usually at the end of a flight, passengers hear an announcement about checking around them for any belongings. "Any belongings" is a colorless expression–something passengers pay little attention to.
But when we touched down in San Francisco, our flight attendant said something like this:
"Please check around to be sure you don't leave anything behind. Passengers often forget glasses, glass cases, cell phones, crayons, coloring books, paperbacks, gloves, and other things they miss later."
I immediately thought about my glasses, cell phone, and the book I had been reading. None of those would have come to mind if she had said, "Check around you for any belongings."
Her statement reminded me of the value of giving examples in business writing. Examples paint pictures for readers the way vague words cannot. (I could stop here, but instead I will give examples!)
For instance, if you are complimenting someone on an effective proposal, writing "Great proposal!" is positive but not meaningful. Details–that is, specific examples–that illustrate why the proposal was great make the compliment meaningful and memorable.
Or let's say you are writing an email to the office manager asking her to buy an up-to-date dictionary and one or two respected writing style guides for the office. What does "up to date" mean when thinking about dictionaries? And what is a respected style guide? Examples such as "published within the last five years" and The Associated Press Stylebook 2010 will point the office manager in the right direction.
When you write, remember the flight attendant's list of specific examples. Then include your own.
I am traveling again for a few days–this time from Seattle to New York City–but I hope to write again soon.