In our business writing courses, people often ask how to write persuasive sales messages, and the topic is popular among the emailed questions I receive. In response to the interest, the current issue of our free e-newsletter, Better Writing at Work, includes a case study analyzing a sales email that arrived in my inbox.
The message appears below with its identifying details changed. Do you think it is persuasive? Why or why not?
Subject: Diversify – 3 Ways
My name is Suzie Barr and I am a colleague of David Gross. During the past year I have been in charge of the development of our Diversify series of financial learning games. We have spent countless hours with our authors, developers and financial experts, updating and expanding the range of games, as well as working with our technical partners, the Mag Group, making the games available online and as mobile phone apps in addition to our popular classroom and training room game format.
We would be delighted if you would have a look at the results summarized at [link].Please feel free to address any questions, ideas, suggestions to me. I hope that you will find these tools beneficial to your work.
Does the email sell well?
For my analysis of the message, read the current Better Writing at Work. Subscribe here.