When Sorry Isn't the Important Word

The other day I wanted to buy salmon at my local market. When I looked at the fish counter covered with ice and various fish, I did not see any salmon, so I asked the person behind the counter if he had any for sale. He looked at me, then pointed down into the counter. I realized I had not noticed a sign.

The sign said:

SORRY

We are out of salmon.

I am not surprised I missed the sign when I was looking for salmon. After all, the sign emphasized SORRY rather than SALMON. Salmon was the final word, something I would not have seen as my eyes flitted around the icy counter. 

The SORRY sign reminded me of the importance of highlighting what your audience needs in business communication. For example, if you are writing to announce a picnic, you need to highlight the words Picnic, Date, Time, Place, Rain Date (if you live in Seattle or other rainy places), RSVP, and other information your reader will scan for to make plans to be at the event. If you are reminding people about an upcoming webinar, you may need to highlight the word Online, especially if your audience usually attends classes in person.

People do not read every word. They scan email, text messages, web pages, memos, letters, proposals--even signs at the market. Don't give them a big SORRY. Give them what they need. Format your messages to emphasize what they seek.

Have you been able to find what you need in written pieces?  I welcome your comments.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Comments

[Tim Fulford Professional Min/Visual Mapper]

Oh how true this is! In the UK we have started to get digital message signs on the motorways which give information about traffic issues. They have to repeat the info because of the order of the text, as you state Lynn the important is often last and thus missed. As always excellent advice from real situations.

[Tim Fulford Professional Min/Visual Mapper]

It might work in a retail environment but when you travel at speed reading a text sign is virtually impossible. Thats why we use graphics for road and emergency signage in the main.

[Business Writing Blog]

Tim, thanks for dropping by and commenting. I enjoy your continued emphasis on graphics. Yet I am not sure how a graphic might have helped me when I was seeking the sold-out salmon.

Lynn

[daniel]

hi nice post...

[Tim Fulford Professional Min/Visual Mapper]

Maybe salmon with a cross through it? I thought you might like these two spelling errors seen this week, one in an education publication and the other in a local deli. http://wp.me/s9ikC-spelling

[Business Writing Blog]

Hi, Tim. Yes, maybe the word "salmon" with an X or a line through it. I don't think I would recognize a picture of a salmon with an X through it.

Yet a crossed-out salmon (either verbal or visual) might conjure up the wrong idea--have salmon been banned?

SALMON SOLD OUT might work best.

Lynn

[lety]

hi Lynn , is so true that we never read carefully and only catch or see what we want and not what we need to know.
Which means that we have to be careful when it comes to read any kind of written piece.

[Kelly Erickson]

Hi Lynn. I agree. Maybe a better approach would have been to create a sign that said "We're out of salmon, but our fresh halibut is on special and it's FANTASTIC!"

[Business Writing Blog]

Lety, thank you for mentioning the importance of reading. Too often we focus only on the writer's job.

Lynn

[Business Writing Blog]

Hi, Kelly. I like the idea of a replacement fish.

Lynn

[Eric_shinn]

Instead of "SORRY" which implies that the store is at fault. I like your idea, Lynn, on "Salmon Sold Out."

In a visual/IA context; Use the "Salmon" label that is used regularly. This is what shoppers look for 2nd anyway (first being the bright-color salmon itself). Append to the label a contrasting "Sold Out" label. Use a warm color to contrast the cool, icy display. This implies to the customer: This is a product that sells well. "You" JUST missed out. Don't worry though, this is only temporary - come back (to the store) in a day or two. It turns a negative into two positives and motivation to come back sooner than usual.

[Business Writing Blog]

Hi, Eric. I agree with your ideas. It helps to have a friendly butcher behind the counter to tell customers when the store will have salmon again.

Lynn

[article spinning]

I get your point.. That's why experts say communication is important. As you said they could have highlighted salmon also, must have made great sense..