Recently in classroom and online business writing courses, I have noticed people starting sales messages to strangers in an unproductive way, like this:
My name is Jane Smith, and I am the Regional Sales Representative at XYZ Company.
Unlike cold calls (that is, telephone sales calls to strangers), written sales letters and emails should not begin with "My name is . . . . " Your name and title appear in your signature block, both in printed business letters and emails. Your company name appears in a logo or in a typed line. Including them at the beginning wastes space and puts the focus on you rather than on your prospective customer's needs.
You may be wondering if it is ever appropriate to begin with "My name is" in writing. The only place I see the phrase is printed on "My name is" name badges. Even there, it isn't necessary.
To learn ways to improve your sales messages and other written documents, take my online Writing Tune-Up for Peak Performance class on April 2 and 4.
Can you think of other things NOT to include in sales messages? Please share your comments.