An Introduction That Isn’t an Introduction

The other day I joined a small professional group, and the group leader sent an email introducing me to the other members. Here is the introduction:

"I am happy to introduce Lynn Gaertner-Johnston, who has joined our group."

I expected to read on and see more words of introduction, but the group leader included just that one sentence. Essentially all he did was to give people my email address, which appeared on the To line.

You may not be surprised to learn that I was disappointed. I had hoped the leader would tell people a little about me so they would look forward to meeting me and working together.

When you introduce a new person by email, you can spark great new relationships if you share more than name and contact information. Consider adding these items about the new person:

  • Role in the group, or how the person will contribute 
  • Reporting relationship (if the individual is an employee, to whom does he or she report?)
  • Relevant background, experience, skills, and education (choose one or more, depending on the situation)
  • A personal detail that brings the individual to life (for example, a hobby, an interest, or a personal accomplishment)

Here is a sample introduction of a new employee, from my book Business Writing With Heart: How to Build Great Work Relationships One Message at a Time:

Subject: Welcome Pat Nielsen to Sales

I am pleased to announce that Pat Nielsen will join the Sales group as Sales Assistant on Monday, April 11. Her role is to help us produce outstanding proposals, presentations, web demos, and related materials and events. She reports to Stephanie Brown.

Pat’s experience is a terrific fit for the job. She comes to us from XYZ Company, where she worked first in retail sales and then as a store event coordinator. Before working full-time, she earned her bachelor’s degree in business from the University of Washington. She loves to kayak, hike, and take nature photographs. She did all three on a recent trip to Maui.

If you are at headquarters, stop by Pat’s desk on the 4th floor and introduce yourself. You can also reach her at Ext. 2003 and Pat.nielsen@ourcompany.com.

Bill Richards
Director of Sales

Do you agree that this type of introduction would be a great way to introduce and welcome Pat to the Sales group?

Business Writing With Heart includes advice on introducing yourself and others in many situations, including reintroducing yourself in email after meeting someone at a professional event. You can get an autographed copy from me at Syntax Training, or order the paperback or e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your favorite bookstore.

Lynn
Syntax Training

3 COMMENTS

  1. Maybe the person thought your fame precedes you, Lynn. 😉

    I agree with you. The person should have included something more about you.

    A question I keep in mind when sending an email is from the perspective of the reader, “So what?”

    We should attempt to answer that question for the reader. Except for recipients who may know you, I would say the sender fell way short on answering that question. 😉

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