Lately I have been hearing the word “disconcerning.” When it came up yesterday in an interview on NPR (National Public Radio), I knew it was time to write about it.
“Disconcerning” is actually not a word–at least not a correct one. I’ve just checked all my dictionaries and style guides. With several of them piled on my desk, I can tell you confidently: “Disconcerning” is simply not a word.
If the non-word has crept into your vocabulary, below are words you may intend:
Disconcerting may mean “embarrassing,” “confusing,” “frustrating” (as in “upsetting”), or “disturbing the composure of” depending on the context.
Examples:
- It’s disconcerting that the speaker hasn’t arrived yet, and his talk should begin in 10 minutes. (frustrating, upsetting, disturbing)
- How disconcerting for Karen that the speaker she hired and bragged about did not even show up! (embarrassing, upsetting)
- It’s disconcerting that my sister is suddenly talking about moving in with us. (disturbing the composure of)
Discomfiting means “making uneasy or perplexed,” “disconcerting.” Yes, it’s a synonym of disconcerting in some contexts. An archaic meaning is “defeating in battle, vanquishing.”
Examples:
- It’s discomfiting that all the lights are on at their house, but no one is home. (making uneasy or perplexing, disconcerting)
- His outrageous behavior is discomfiting his associates.
Discomforting means “making uncomfortable,” “distressing.” As you can guess, it’s a synonym for both of the words above. However, Garner’s Modern English Usage prefers discomfort as a noun rather than this verb form. Garner recommends the word discomfiting rather than discomforting.
When I choose words for my business communications, clarity wins out over all other concerns. So I don’t use disconcerting, discomfiting, or discomforting. Instead I choose words I hope all my readers understand: embarrassing, upsetting, annoying, frustrating, confusing–and maybe worrisome.
You may choose fancier words, but be sure one of them is not disconcerning.
Which made up words have you been hearing and seeing in business messages?
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Lynn
