Thank You for Condolences

I have been writing lately about how to compose a condolence message and how and why to write thank you notes. This post combines the two: how to write a thank you for a condolence message.

I'm inspired to write on this topic because of the search strings people have used to reach this blog. "Thank you letter for condolence message" is a definite topic of interest around the world. For all of you whose search has brought you here, I hope this information will be helpful to you, especially in your time of healing.

Here is a note I received from my friend and business associate Margaret Elwood after the death of her father. Margaret kindly sent me this thank you and gave me her permission to share it with you.

Dear Lynn and Michael,

Your sympathy card was timely and very, very helpful to me during difficult days last week. And though I received several notes of condolence through e-mail, I found in my distress that a tangible card I could see on my desk was really much more comforting. Thank you so much.

This week is much better, and though I know that grief takes its own time outside of my control, I am feeling grateful for the years I had with my father and for the time I have with friends like you right now.

Margaret

Remember, your friends and colleagues will not expect you to write detailed messages. Just knowing that you received their card, note, letter, flowers, or other gift may be enough. Consider these five short messages:

Thank you for your kindness and sympathy during our time of loss. It gives us much comfort to know that you are thinking of us as we grieve our son's death.

Warm regards,
________________

It was very nice of you to think of me in this time of sadness. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
________________

Thank you for your touching letter. I really enjoyed hearing from you. The story you shared about my mother made me smile. 

My mother lived a long, full life. Although her passing is a sad milestone for me, I am grateful for having her with me for so many years.

With many thanks,
________________

Please accept my sincere thanks for the beautiful flowers you sent for my sister's memorial service. She would have loved them.

I appreciate your thoughtfulness and caring more than I can say.
________________

I can hardly express how grateful I am for your attendance at my brother's funeral. It was so good of you to take the time to be with me and my family.

Your kindness and compassion mean a great deal to us.

Sincerely,
________________

I hope Margaret's message and my examples will be useful models as you write your own notes of thanks.

_______________________________
Other search spelling: condolances

Comments

[wayne hom]

Thank you for this information. It is very helpful, as my father recently passed away. There are many sites for information on sending the condolences, but not many that help with a thoughtful reply.

[Lynn]

Wayne, thank you for taking the time to write. I am very pleased to know that this information helped you. We don't have to write such messages often, but when we do, it feels good to say something real.

Please accept my condolences on your loss.

Lynn

[Hemant]

Thanks for the tips posted on the net regarding the condolences message. Can I request you, if time permits, to give some SMS regarding condolences so that it would be easier and quick to send short messages of condolences to the bereaved person/family.
thanks
Hemant

[Lynn]

Hemant, I am not sure whether you have seen all my posts on condolences. If not, please look at the bottom of my list of Categories, at right, where you will see "Writing Condolences." If you scroll through those, you will find short condolence messages.

What is SMS?

Lynn

[C FLOWERS]

It has only been a week since we buried my father and the task of writing condolences has been left to me, and I found your examples very helpful. Thank you so much.

Mrs.C Taylor-Flowers

[Winks]

Thank you so much for providing these examples. I have found them helpful in responding to kind gestures, thoughtful cards, and even a kind note on my myspace page regarding the passing of my mother.

[Lynn]

Dear Mrs. Taylor-Flowers and Winks,

I am grateful to both of you for taking the time to share your gratitude. It means a lot to me to know that my work has been helpful.

Please accept my condolences to both of you on the loss of your parent.

Sincerely,

Lynn

[Amy]

Thank you for addressing this topic. My mother passed away recently. I was looking for some guidance on how to respond to the kindness I have experienced from classmates, and this was very helpful.

[Lynn]

Amy, please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. I am very pleased that you found these examples helpful.

Lynn

[Marie]

Hello, I am Marie from Germany. I was very glad to find your website. Your information how to thank for condolences was very very helpful for me, because as German I did not know how to express it properly to our American friends who condolenced me on the loss of my beloved mother. Your information was very nicely written and explained.

Thank you,
Marie

[Elma]

Lynn, Many thanks for your very helpful information. You provided much needed guidance on how to respond to those who shared the loss of our husband and father with us. You are providing a much needed service. Thank you again. Elma

[Lynn]

Dear Marie and Elma,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thanks. I am always happy to receive such messages.

Please accept my condolences on your losses.

Lynn

[Joanne]

Hello,
After never being at a loss for words and always had a much easier time expressing myself on paper, I found myself at just such a crossroad after losing my mother last month. The six weeks preceeding her untimely death in the ICU and hospice took more of physical and emotional toll on me than I ever, ever thought possible.
More than a handful of times I sat down to write meaningful thank you's to everyone only to find myself in tears and clearly blank.
Thank you for your information, giving me the kick, boost to get the brain functioning again in the right direction so I can get through this task that I know needs to be done. I do hate being an only child though.......it is too much all around. Are they cloning moms somewhere and no one told me? If you all have elves coming in to clean so you can get all the needed tasks done, please do share! Thank you again.
Joanne

[Lynn]

Dear Joanne,
I am so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your mother. I can only imagine how exhausted and sad you must be.

I wish I could clone a mother and some elves for you. But since I cannot, I encourage you to go easy on yourself. Please know that the people who were kind to you would not for a moment want you to stress yourself in writing to them. Consider a printed thank you card that only requires your signature--or one sentence and your signature. Consider making phone calls instead of writing. And if you will see any of these people over the holidays, make a note to yourself to thank them in person then.

I have found that a task is easier when I have the tools in one place. If you haven't done this already, you may want to put cards, a pen, stamps, and your address book in a box that you can pull out first thing in the morning, at the end of the day, or whenever you have a few minutes.

Grief makes everything harder and more complicated. I hope you will find simple ways to make your tasks easier.

Warm wishes,

Lynn

[amanda]

Thanks so much for your helpful information. It helped me out alot. My dad recently passed away just before Christmas actually. And I was looking for some ideas. I came across your website. I'm glad I did. Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

[Lynn]

Amanda, thank you for taking the time to comment. I am glad you found these ideas helpful.

Please accept my condolences on the passing of your father.

Warm wishes,

Lynn

[Ian]

Thank you for the helpful information on writing condolences. I needed to write one to a colleague overseas who had just lost his sister and I didn't know where to start. Your examples managed to get me started.
Thank you,
Ian

[Mohammed Aqeel Ahmed]

Dear Lynn,

Thanks to Margaret. Her letter has been very useful for me today. Especially as I was writing the thanks letter to the Management from my Chairman side.

Thanks again. It has been wonderful to find such a letter off hand of your website. Otherwise I would have spent hours to get such a wonderful letter.

Best regards,

Mohammed Aqeel Ahmed

[Whitney]

Dear Lynn,
My Mother just recently passed away. I was at a loss on what to write in response to flowers that had been sent. I found your website and was very pleased with the content! Thank you!

[Lynn]

Whitney, thank you for your message. I am sorry to hear about your mother. My mother died recently too--in October. I hope you have good memories and are surrounded by people who care. I know that has made a positive difference for me.

Warm wishes,

Lynn

[Joe]

My parents recently died 12 days apart! The Memorial Service was in the town I grew up in, and where they had lived for 55 years. Between 4 sons and all the acquaintances and relationships they made over the years, we were overwhelmed with the outpouring of support and sympathy. I have the daunting task of responding. Now, not so daunting after seeing your website. Thanks you!

[vijay]

Thank you...

A famous poet of Tamilnadu told that, a person who teach others is known as educated person.

You are one.

Vijay

[Lynn]

Dear Joe,

Please accept my condolences on the loss of both of your parents, especially in such a short time. It must be a complex situation emotionally and logistically to deal with the passing of two parents so close together.

I am delighted you received an outpouring of support. And I am glad you found some suggestions for responding in this blog. Thank you for letting me know.

Best wishes,

Lynn

[Lynn]

Vijay, I enjoyed your comment about my teaching others. Thank you for sharing it.

Lynn

[Jayshree Pathak]

Thank you for your wonderful thank you notes. We just lost our youngest son Deepak on 22nd April, 2008-He was just 24 years, 8 months and 22 days old. His birthday is 3rd of July,1983.
We have a wonderful network of family and friends and Deepak touched so many lives that we were at a loss as to what to say to people - they are grieving as much as we are- and your notes are going to be very helpful in thanking and supporting them.