Business Writing

Proofreading Quizzes--Test Yourself!

In today's New York Times online, you will find a proofreading quiz, "Red Pencils Ready?" by Philip B. Corbett. Try it!

Hint: Corbett's quiz includes one or two errors per passage. I am sharing that hint since I identified many more "errors" than The Times did. That's because I would have simplified several passages for easier reading.

Now try my quiz below. Hint: It contains 10 errors.

The principle reason for the follow up meeting is to talk about how we will handle inquiries from the press. We are already receiving a large amount of calls from the media, and we want to insure that our statements compliment our print strategy. As a HIV-AIDS advocacy organization, we must discretely manage information and the affects of any publicity. If you receive inquiries you cannot handle, just foreword them to Britta or myself. 

Did you find 10 errors? Look again. But don't feel bad if you miss some. My Microsoft grammar and spelling checker did not find any!

Check the corrected passage below. But before you scroll down, I want you to know that this quiz appears in my new guide, Clarity, Conciseness, Zing, and More: 262 Ways to Take Business Writing Beyond the Basics. Learn more about the guide on my website. I'm very excited about pulling together 27 articles to help writers move from pretty good to great, from self-conscious to confident. (Note: You may have seen the quiz before. The new guide contains 24 of my best articles from Better Writing at Work and 3 new ones.)

Order by July 5 and receive copies of two other practical articles, "10 Ways to Help Gen Y Write Well" and "Are You Likeable?" Just include the word blog in the comment section of the order form, and I will send you the articles with my thanks.

Corrected Passage:

The principal reason for the follow-up meeting is to talk about how we will handle inquiries from the press. We are already receiving a large number of calls from the media, and we want to ensure that our statements complement our print strategy. As an HIV-AIDS advocacy organization, we must discreetly manage information and the effects of any publicity. If you receive inquiries you cannot handle, just forward them to Britta or me. 

 

Make sense? I've written about many of these errors here, but you can find the explanations all together in Clarity, Conciseness, Zing, and More.

 

Thanks to Marcia Yudkin for pointing me to the Times quiz.

 

Lynn
Syntax Training

Why Put People Down in Writing?

The other day I sent out my monthly ezine, Better Writing at Work, to about 8,000 subscribers. I received a few "unsubscribe" notices, as I normally do. People unsubscribe when they are changing jobs or buried in email. I know their reasons because my ezine mailing program allows people to comment.

I was annoyed by this unusual unsubscribe comment, left by someone named Amanda:

"I teach a professional writing class at work, and I thought this newsletter would give me additional tips or writing skills we were not already teaching. It didn't."

Am I wrong in thinking this is a putdown?

When I am out shopping, I do not say to the shop owner as I leave the store without making a purchase, "I thought I would find good things in your shop, but I did not." When I review a menu in the foyer of a restaurant, I do not say, "Sorry. Your menu has nothing to offer me" before I walk away.

Amanda might have written "Not what I expected," or she might have not commented at all. Why put me down? Why burn a bridge with a possible colleague or professional contact? Why spread ill will?

Being mean-spirited just doesn't make sense to me.

What do you think?

Lynn
Syntax Training

 

 

What Out-of-Date Websites Say About Us

Someone wrote to me recently, asking for my opinion of two other business professionals. Because I am in a professional group with them, she knew I could vouch for them.

The reason she wasn't sure whether they were reliable, successful people is that their websites were woefully out of date. One hadn't posted on her blog for four months. Another listed "upcoming classes" that had happened in March and April.

Whatever positive things I could say about them were diminished by what their websites communicated.

What do out-of-date websites say to you?

Lynn
Syntax Training 

Happy Father's Day!

My daughter just showed me the cute card she made for her dad to give to him tomorrow. She draws well, and the smiling penguin she created on the front of the card made me smile too.

But being a word person, I had to correct her message on the inside of the card. It's Father's Day--not Fathers Day. When her dad overheard us whispering about the apostrophe, he slyly chimed in, "Yes, it's a possessive."

He's right. The apostrophe in Father's Day indicates a singular possessive, the day belonging to each father. In many countries around the world, it is the third Sunday in June, but fathers in Australia and New Zealand have to wait until September.  

Whether you are a father, mother, son, or daughter, I wish you a happy third Sunday in June.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Using . . . Ellipses

I don't know whether you have any punctuation marks that are hard for you to keep straight. I have only one whose spacing and length challenge me: the ellipsis.

Last week a client emailed me with an ellipsis question, and I realized I have to face the ellipsis and write about it here if I want to maintain my reputation as a business writing expert. So this post is for my reputation and our edification (yours and mine), I hope.

Here are a few things I understand well about ellipses:

One of them is an ellipsis; more than one are ellipses. Examples: The title of this post contains an ellipsis. I have difficulty punctuating ellipses.

Ellipses are used in two places: (1) in quoted material, to show that words have been left out of a quotation or that the speaker trailed off and (2) in one's own writing, to pause or trail off.

Although ellipses are important in quoted material (to show that words are missing), they are rarely a good idea in one's own business writing. In our own writing, we shouldn't be pausing (unless giving a speech) or trailing off. Pausing and trailing off do not inspire confidence in our readers although they can create a certain mood in advertising copy.  

Beyond those basics, I have had difficulty keeping track of the spacing and the number of periods in ellipses. If spacing and number are not tricky enough, the various reference manuals call them periods, dots, points, and even period-dots. I will call them periods.

I pored through five style manuals last night, and here is what I learned:

The reference manuals disagree about the spacing of the periods. The Associated Press Stylebook (AP) and Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications (Microsoft) both treat an ellipsis as a three-letter word--that is, with one space before and after it but no spaces between the periods. This sentence contains ... an example.

In contrast, The Gregg Reference Manual (Gregg), Garner's Modern American Usage (Garner), and The Chicago Manual of Style (Chicago) all space between the periods . . . as I just did. I prefer the spaced periods.

There is no disagreement among the manuals about the number of periods to use to indicate words left out in the middle of a sentence: They all use three. 

So far, so good.

What about leaving out words at the end of a quoted sentence?

The reference guides agree that such an omission requires a fourth period. Example:

There is no disagreement among the manuals about the number of periods to use . . . .

Garner, Gregg, and Microsoft all recommend a space before the first period. This space indicates that words were left out at the end of the original sentence. Oddly enough, AP does not space before the first period--it spaces after it, like this. ...

Gregg also covers how to end the sentence if the speaker or writer trailed off before the end of a sentence. Gregg recommends using just three periods at the end of your sentence. Example: We don't know how . . .

And how do we show that we have left something out after the end of a complete quoted sentence? For example, what if we have left out the next sentence or several sentences? 

Again, Garner, Gregg, and Microsoft agree. They do not space before the first of the four periods. This sentence is an illustration of how Garner and Gregg handle the sentence. . . . Microsoft recommends this way....

Chicago recommends many different ways of handling end-of-sentence ellipses, with pages of commentary. If you quote material regularly in scholarly or scientific papers, with many variations in the omissions, I recommend consulting Chicago.

All the guides agree that ellipses should not be broken between two lines of text. So if you find them divided across two lines, you need to insert nonbreaking spaces between the periods. If your screen shows any broken ellipses in this blog post, please recognize those breaks as errors.

I am feeling confident about my use of ellipses after doing the research, and now I'll just refer to this post. I hope you will too.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Lazy Lies in Testimonials

I was talking the other day to one of our vendors who is going out of business but starting a new line of work. He had referred me proudly to his new website, and I told him how impressed I was with the testimonials on the site. They were especially impressive because the business is new.

(Note: Testimonials are quotes from customers or clients praising the product or service. They are a form of evidence that the product or service is worth buying.)

He responded, "I'm glad you like them. I wrote all of them."

In response to my questions, I learned, shocked, that our vendor had made up all the testimonials and simply added attributions like "John T." and "Rita M." and "Ellie A."--apparently based on real people who had been his actual first customers. 

His defense was "But that's what they would have said!"

Yes, they might very well have said those words, but they did not. Neither did they approve them or put their names to them.

That's lying. And it's a bad way to start a new business.

Here is what you can do to get testimonials for a new business:

If you can get your first customers the normal ways, fine. Ask them for comments and permission to quote their words.

If you don't have customers yet, ask people to try your product at no cost or low cost--with the understanding that they will give you feedback on your offering. If the feedback is not positive, improve the offering. If it is positive, get their permission to use the comments.

If their comments are positive but not stated well, ask for permission to edit them. Then get their approval on the final wording.

If a customer says, "Just write something for me, and I'll approve it," interview the customer so you can use his or her words and ideas. Then get approval on what you write. 

Use your customers' first and last names, and include identifying information such as their company names or geographical locations. Those details show your potential customers that the testimonials are real.

As for "But that's what they would have said!" recognize it for what it is: lazy lying.

Don't let stress, frustration, or credit card bills compromise what you know is right. Start a new business telling the truth.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Where Is WA? A Lesson About Communication

I've been writing here about dates and times, but today I got a good laugh about places. A psychologist who lives in Redmond, Washington, shared a story of an Australian consultant who was trying to track him down. Only when she realized that Redmond, WA (mentioned on a website), was not in Western Australia was she able to find him.

The lesson: Write for Planet Earth!

Lynn
Syntax Training

June 8th or June 8?

The other day a client forwarded one of my emails to everyone on his team. 

He changed my original from this:

I look forward to meeting you on June 8.

To this:

I look forward to meeting you on June 8th.

Was my original rendering of the date correct? Or did the client save me the embarrassment of an error?

The original way I had written the date was correct. Even though we say "June 8th," the correct rendering in writing is "June 8."

Another correct option is "the 8th of June."

If you would like to learn a bit more about this number rule on which all my style guides agree, read my ancient blog post from July 4, 2005--no, not July 4th, 2005. The rule has not changed since then.

Happy June 8 (or June 9 if you are in the eastern hemisphere)! 

Lynn
Syntax Training

A.M., P.M., a.m., p.m.: What Is the Correct Time?

Pam wrote to me to settle a debate between the younger and the older employees in her office. Her brief question was this:

4pm or 4:00pm?

My answer: Neither!

Both of Pam's renderings are incorrect. She needs to insert periods and a space before the abbreviation, like this:
4 p.m. or 4:00 p.m.

In email, many people seem to be dropping both the periods and the space, but don't follow the crowd. The prominent style guides do not support that choice. Here is a sampling of recommendations:

The Associated Press Stylebook:
4 p.m.

Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications:
4 P.M.

The Chicago Manual of Style and Garner's Modern American Usage:
4 p.m. or 4 PM (with PM in small capitals)

The Gregg Reference Manual:
4 p.m. or 4 P.M. (with PM in small capitals)

Whatever style you choose, be consistent. I always use lowercase letters: 4 p.m.

Pam's coworkers were apparently arguing about whether to include the zeros. Omit zeros when the time is on the hour, but include them in a list of varying times like this one:

7:00 a.m. Registration
7:30 a.m. Breakfast
8:00 a.m. Announcements
8:15 a.m. Speaker

Pam, it's time for you and your coworkers to pitch in and get a style manual. See the recommendations on my website.

Does your style guide recommend a different approach to time? If so, please share it here.

Lynn
Syntax Training

An Outreach Message That Failed

What do you think of this email I received?

**************************
From: DavBlake@aol.com [I made up the address.]
To: Undisclosed Recipients [That phrase filled the To line.]
Subject: Writing Skills training

I was referred to you by a colleague at Boeing.

I conduct business communication workshops and am looking for partnering opportunities in the Seattle area. Please let me know if you are taking on additional trainers or can provide referrals.

Thank you.

David Blake   [I have disguised this information.]
Communications Company
Chicago, Illinois
***************************

How do you feel about the message?

It disappointed me. If this person had taken just five minutes to personalize his message, I would have phoned or emailed him within a day to talk about his experience and interests. We might have begun a mutually rewarding business relationship. But as it was, I could barely keep the sarcasm out of my "Thanks but no thanks" reply. I wanted to write, "Thank you for including me in your list of undisclosed recipients," but my husband reminded me that I am a better person than that.

Here is what "David" should have done:

1. Send an individual email to me--not to a mailing list.
2. Greet me "Dear Lynn."
3. Name the colleague at Boeing, if there is one. If there isn't one, then tell me why he has chosen me to contact.
4. Tell me something exciting about his background that would get me interested in him.
5. Give me the URL for his website. (He has a perfectly fine website that I tracked down--he did not even mention it!)
6. Provide a phone number.

I don't know why David even bothered sending out such an unimpressive message. Do you?

If you have friends who are looking for a job or a consulting opportunity, please remind them that bland, blanket messages are worse than useless. They frustrate, disappoint, and turn off readers.

Thanks for spreading the word.

Lynn
Syntax Training