Business Writing

Have You Been Triaged Yet?

My example today is not from business writing, but I am sure we can relearn something from it.

When I sat in a doctor's waiting room with my father this afternoon, a medical staff member asked a man sitting near us, "Have you been triaged yet?"

The man had no answer.

Jargon anyone? How would you have responded?

Lynn
Syntax Training

Punctuating Bullet Points

In business writing courses, the most common question about punctuation involves how to punctuate bullet points. It's important, since these days we write as many bullet points as paragraphs.

Let me tell you how I punctuate them, and then I will touch on other ways recommended by prestigious style manuals.

Here is what I recommend:

• Use a period (full stop) after every bullet point that is a sentence (as these bullets do).
• Use a period after every bullet point that completes the introductory stem.
• Use no punctuation after bullets that are not sentences and do not complete the stem.
• Use all sentences or all fragments, not a mixture.

Directly below is an example of bullet points that complete the introductory stem. Below that example is a version that does not need periods.

I like living in Seattle because of its:

• Access to culture, natural beauty, and work opportunities.
• Moderate climate--not too hot or too cold.
• Liberal politics and social attitudes.

Here are the things I like about living in Seattle:

• Access to culture, natural beauty, and work opportunities
• Moderate climate--not too hot or too cold
• Liberal politics and social attitudes

There is an exception to putting periods after bullet points that complete the stem sentence: If they are one word or a short phrase that feels like an inventory or shopping list, do not use end punctuation. Below is an example:

I like living in Seattle because of its:

• Culture
• Natural beauty
• Work opportunities
• Moderate climate
• Liberal politics
• Social openness

I follow The Gregg Reference Manual's rules on punctuating bullets. I like the approach because it is crisp and clear. 

Garner's Modern American Usage, a reference manual I respect and use, also inserts periods at the end of bullet points--if they begin with a capital letter. However, Garner notes:

"If you begin each item with a lowercase letter, put a semicolon at the end of each item, use and after the next-to-last item, and put a period after the last item."

The Chicago Manual of Style has pages of rules and examples of bullet points, but it agrees with the Garner style quoted above, calling the style "vertical lists punctuated as a sentence." Here is my example of that style:

It is my responsibility to [Garner uses a colon here but Chicago does not]

• provide participant prework questions for your roster of attendees;
• review participants' responses and writing samples; and
• customize the workshop to match individuals’ and the group’s needs.

To me, the style above is too fussy for business writing. It doesn't look crisp or energetic.

For more about those efficient chunks of text we use so often, read my post "Best Practices for Bullet Points." 

If you would enjoy commenting on bullet point style, please do.

Lynn
Syntax Training

To Assure You About "Assure"

In the past week I have read writing samples from two high-level managers in two different industries, both with the same mistake. They both used the word assure incorrectly. So even though I have covered ensure-assure-insure before, it must be time for a reminder.

One manager wrote something like this:

"My job is to assure that we have the resources we need to succeed."

The other wrote a sentence like this one:

"We assure that all controls and safeguards are in place."

The word assure is wrong in their sentences. What should it be? Ensure? Insure?

The word they wanted is ensure--in both sentences. 

Here's how to think about it: We assure people. We do not assure things.

These are correct examples with assure:

I assure you [a person] that this mistake will not happen again.

Please assure Dr. Reed [a person] that her ride will be waiting for her.

He [a person] wants to be assured that the business writing class is not too basic.

Ensure means "to make sure things happen or do not happen":

We must ensure that this mistake does not happen again.

Please ensure that Dr. Reed's ride is waiting for her.

The instructor ensures that the course is not too basic by using actual case studies.

Insure belongs in sentences about insurance (underwriting financial risk):

Are we insured against mistakes like that?

Insure the furniture for its replacement cost, not its original cost.

We insure businesses, farms, and families. 

I assure you that I have ensured the correctness of the examples above--despite not having grammatical malpractice insurance!

Do you want to find out what you know and don't know about the rules of writing? Get my Error Quests, and test your writing wisdom in 50 short paragraphs, each with just one error. Can you find it?

Lynn
Syntax Training

Was Rick Perry Literally Wrong? Correct Use of the Word "Literally"

Comedians and political pundits in the United States have been making fun of Texas Governor Rick Perry because of his use of the word literally. In a recent presidential debate, Perry said Iran would invade Iraq "literally at the speed of light."

Literally means "actually" or "in a literal manner." Iran cannot actually (literally) invade Iraq at the speed of light. Perry's use was incorrect.

But where did he learn it? I wondered how the governor could make such an unfortunate, much mocked error. My curiosity led me to to my bookshelf.  

It turns out there is plenty of precedent for using literally figuratively, as Perry did. The governor is not alone.

My reference books do not recommend Perry's use, but they report similar examples:

Fowler's Modern English Usage reports this use way back in 1863: "I literally coined money."

Garner's Modern American Usage offers examples from the 1980s and 1990s, including "Life literally has been turned upside down."

Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary gives the definition "in effect, virtually," with the example "will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty or injustice."

The American Heritage College Dictionary says in its definition "used as an intensive before a figurative expression." In its usage note, the dictionary says that although such use of literally may be "infelicitous, it cannot be said to be incorrect."

My conclusion: Although Perry's use of literally is out of favor, it is not as foolish as it seemed.

Then when should literally be used? The word fits when you want to reassure your reader or your audience that you mean what you say. You are not exaggerating or using language loosely.

Here are correct examples:

He continued typing for literally another minute while I sat there. (Literally indicates an actual minute, not just a few seconds.)

I literally cried. (Literally indicates real tears.)

The official waved us through, and we literally ran onto the airplane. (We actually ran.) 

When you translate Schadenfreude literally, it is "harm-joy." (The parts of the word do mean "harm" and "joy.")

Sometimes people use literally in a literary way, which is also correct:

The roller-coaster teen years began literally at Busch Gardens, where we spent Eva’s 13^th birthday riding the Griffon, “the world’s tallest, floorless dive coaster.” (From our holiday letter)

When it comes to success, the sky's the limit--literally and figuratively. (From the website of a satellite company)  

Your audience may not speak your language literally or figuratively. (From an article on business writing)

But often the word literally can be cut from business messages:

The thank-you note is literally your last chance to impress a potential employer.

He literally turns down more business than he accepts.

Was Rick Perry literally wrong?

What would you add to this discussion about literally? I welcome your comments, but please do not get into politics. As you know, this is the Business Writing blog.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Humor in Business Writing - Does It Belong?

Today someone sent me an evaluation of an online business writing course he had taken with me. This was his final comment:

I liked the online format. It was like being in an actual classroom, but without sitting next to the person who had a garlic and onion chilidog for lunch. Oh, sorry, that was me.

I got a huge laugh from this comment, first because the reference to a chilidog surprised me in a class evaluation, especially of a virtual class. Then his naming himself as the chilidog eater gave me another quick treat.

The surprising humor in a normally dry document brightened my morning at my desk. Humor in small, unexpected doses works well on the job.

Humor in business messages fails when it is piled on like a performance.

A few months ago I taught a business writing workshop in which someone had submitted a writing sample of meeting minutes that were filled with witty side comments. The first one or two comments were entertaining. But after that, I wondered how anyone could get through the meeting notes to review what had happened at the meeting.

When I arrived to teach the class, I learned that the man who had written the notes would not be able to attend. I started to think about how I would bring up the topic of humor in business writing with him, since we would not have the chance to meet face to face.

It turned out I did not need to talk with him. People in the class told me they had a team member who was overdoing humor. They said they had let him know gently that they would prefer he get to the point in his writing without piling on the fun and puns. As readers, they had handled it themselves.

Humor fails when it gets in the way of the message.

In writing classes, I often ask participants what they need from the documents they read at work. Only about 1 in 20 participants mentions "Make it interesting." No one mentions humor. No one.

Based on my experience with hundreds of people in classes, I can confidently say that your readers at work do not need or expect humor from you. However, I will guess that if you throw in an occasional unexpected bit of whimsy, they will love it.

What do you think about humor in business writing? Not in essays or blog posts, but in regular business messages such as email, reports, and meeting notes. Please share your insights.

Lynn
Syntax Training

New Year's Wishes for 2012

People from around the world have been writing to me in search of the correct wording for new year's messages to their English-speaking friends and associates. To help them, I have composed these brief messages as models. I hope you find them helpful.

Note to international readers: If the message says I, it is from one person. If it says we, it is from more than one person or from a business. When you change the subject from I to we (or we to I), the verb stays the same. (Example: "I wish" and "We wish" are both correct.)

Happy 2012! I wish you a new year filled with prosperity, joy, and contentment. [for anyone]

Happy 2012! I wish you a beautiful, magical new year! [for anyone]

On New Year's Day and every day, we wish you joy and fulfillment. Happy new year! [for anyone]

We wish you a new year filled with wonder, peace, and meaning. Happy 2012! [for anyone]

I hope you are blessed with delight, fulfillment, and peace in the new year. [for anyone, has a spiritual feeling]

I wish you a wonderful new year filled with abundance, joy, and treasured moments. May 2012 be your best year yet! [for anyone, especially a professional]

I hope 2012 is a year of great happiness and success for you. Have a wonderful new year! [for anyone, especially a professional]

We are grateful for our work with you in 2011, and we look forward to working together in the new year. Happy 2012! [for a client]

Thank you for being a customer at our ______________. [fill in a word or a phrase such as hair salon, restaurant, gym, health club, or store.] We look forward to serving you in 2012. We wish you peace, happiness, and abundant good health in the new year. [for a customer]

Thank you for staying with us. We wish you a beautiful new year filled with peace and gladness. We look forward to seeing you again in 2012. [for a hotel guest]

Thank you for your business in 2011. It has been a pleasure helping you reach your goals, and we look forward to serving you again in the new year. We wish you a prosperous and wonderful 2012! [for a customer or a client]

We are delighted to have you as a customer, and we look forward to serving you in the new year. Have a terrific 2012! [for a customer]

We wish you great happiness in your new home. Have a wonderful new year! [for someone who has moved]

We wish you abundant success and joy in your new location. Happy 2012! [for a business that has moved]

I am personally grateful to each one of you for your tremendous efforts, and I wish everyone a rewarding, joyous new year. I look forward to working with you in 2012. [to a group of employees and associates]

I appreciate your contribution to our success this year. I wish you peace, joy, and fulfillment in 2012. Happy new year! [for an individual employee or associate]

My examples are generic so that you can use them in a variety of situations. However, the more personalized your message is, the more sincere it will feel.

Happy 2012 to you, dear reader! I hope your new year is filled with joyful learning, abundant opportunity, and pleasure in all you do.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Who Should Save Face--You or Your Reader?

I recently emailed a friend to invite her to lunch. I suggested that we meet at the Portage Bay Cafe on Roosevelt. When she wrote back to say yes, she said she had visited the Portage Bay Cafe website, and she wanted to know whether I would like to meet on Terry Avenue, Market Street, or Roosevelt. She recommended Roosevelt as the most convenient location. 

I knew there were three locations. I had already suggested the restaurant on Roosevelt in my invitation! Should I tell my friend that, implicitly criticizing her for not reading carefully?

I didn't want to make my friend feel silly, so I responded, "The Portage Bay Cafe on Roosevelt is perfect."

Today I received an email reply from a business friend who said she had not called me me because she had misplaced my phone number. I scrolled down beneath her reply and saw my original message, with my signature block, including my phone number.

Should I write in reply, "My original message included my phone number," insinuating that she should have looked for it?

That approach seemed foolish and unfriendly to me. I replied simply with my phone number.

In these situations, I let my friends save face rather than pointing out that I had already given them the information they needed. I try to do the same for clients, customers, and others, recognizing that even when I format information so it stands out, fast-moving readers buried in email often will not see the essentials. I have been guilty of the same oversight myself. 

How do you feel in such situations, and how do you handle them? Do you let people know when they have missed something in your email? Or do you simply answer their questions? Please share your experiences.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Don't Be Fooled by Microsoft's Non-Errors

In Microsoft Office the grammar and spelling checker often flags non-errors. It flags certain constructions that have "fooled" the software into detecting a possible error. 

My grammar and spelling checker flagged a potential error in each item below. But don't be fooled! Each item is correct.   

1. I am wondering who they are and how to reach them.
   Microsoft suggests changing who to whom, but the sentence requires the subject pronoun who.
2. Thank you for letting Michael know about the situation.
   Microsoft suggests changing know to knows, which is obviously incorrect.
3. This magazine may give you ideas for decorating the kitchen.
   Microsoft suggests replacing you with your--wrong!
4. Suzan says it is difficult to write about herself.
   Microsoft suggests replacing herself with her, which changes the meaning.
5. Treasurer’s Report (as a heading)
   Microsoft suggests replacing Treasurer's with "Treasurer is."
6. Kate, thank you for your help.
   Microsoft flags this as a fragment, but it is a perfectly fine sentence.
7. Please look over your bid to see if there is anything you can do to lower the price.
   Microsoft suggests a comma after anything--wrong!
8. Thanks, Bob!
   Microsoft suggests deleting the comma, but the comma is required in direct address.
9. She earned a master’s degree in communication from the University of Notre Dame.
   Microsoft wants to capitalize of--wrong!
10. The session will run from 1 to 5 p.m.
    Microsoft wants to change 1 to one--wrong!
11. We need to know our guest's preferred dinnertime.
    Microsoft suggests "guest has" rather than the possessive form guest's.
12. I have taught thousands of professionals at all organizational levels.
    Microsoft suggests professional's and professionals'--both are wrong.

In many of the examples, you can tell why the software was fooled. For instance, "Michael know" would be wrong in most sentences, but not in the construction "Thank you for letting Michael know." The number 1 is often spelled out, but not with a.m. or p.m. Guest's can mean "guest has," but not in Item 11.  

Before you accept a change your grammar and spelling checker suggests, be sure you understand it. In Microsoft Office, click "Explain" when your software offers that option, and see if the explanation makes sense. If you aren't sure whether your sentence is correct, try revising it in a way that makes sense to you.

Does your grammar and spelling checker find other non-errors? Please share them here.

Lynn
Syntax Training

Notice: Membership Lapsed

This morning I received an email from a professional organization of which I have been a member since October 31, 1989. During those 20+ years, I have served on the board, given pro bono presentations on business writing, and attended dozens of the chapter's breakfast, lunch, and dinner meetings.

Here is the complete notice I received, with the name of the organization disguised:

Subject: Membership lapsed

Hello,

Your membership has not been renewed in time and has now lapsed:

XXXX Seattle Chapter [with URL]

For: Lynn Gaertner-Johnston, Syntax Training
Renewal date: 30 Nov 2011

Please сontact us as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Given the brevity of the email, I suspected it was spam. I cringed in fear when I clicked the link, but it took me to the organization's real website.

Reading the email, you may wonder how many notices I had received inviting me to renew before I got this one. The answer: zero. I am certain of that number because my husband and business partner gets copies of all my business email, and he didn't receive renewal notices either.

Would you agree that the email lacks something? How would you improve it?

Lynn
Syntax Training

Thanks but No Thanks

I have been traveling and checking most of my email on my smart phone. The other day it took my phone what seemed to be 20 seconds to download a message. It was probably only 8 to 10 seconds, but it felt longer because of all the email I had to read.

The time-consuming message? Here is all it said: "Thanks, Lynn."

The writer's signature block, including a fancy company logo, caused the slow download.

I usually appreciate people's kind thanks. But that message just felt like a time waster, especially since the person was thanking me for a message in which I had thanked her for some helpful information.

So it may have been intended as sincere thanks, but it felt like no thanks.

Do you feel as I did when you read messages on your phone? Please share your view.

Lynn
Syntax Training